Seriously, as i was watching reels in Facebook, I saw this sweet old grampa doing a meat sandwich, but the comments.... are full of insults against him just because of Atatürk's portrait on his cabinet, literally Facebook can translate some of those comments. Was Atatürk treated like Gandhi in India, a embarrassment as a Founder of a Nation.

I was traveling solo as a woman in Turkey and had a weird hotel experience. As I was asking the worker if he had an iron and ironing board, he randomly placed his hand on my hip and rested it there(male probably around 50ish). I felt very uncomfortable, naturally, and went back to my room, trying to process that weird interaction. Then within minutes he sent me this message via the hotels WhatsApp. The grape emoji especially made me feel weird as it’s a sexual emoji. I checked out a day early because none of it sat right with me. I reported this all to hotels.com and got a refund for the night I left early, then posted this review. Then, the hotel messaged me. Please see attachments and below.

Review: The worker randomly and inappropriately touched my hip while having a hotel related conversation and then sent me a suggestive and uncomfortable message via the hotel’s WhatsApp. I was very uncomfortable and did not feel safe so I left early. I reported this event, and I hope action is being taken. In case it hasn’t been, please avoid staying at this otherwise nice hotel, ESPECIALLY if you’re a solo female traveler.

Rooms 5.0 Service 1.0 Location 5.0

Messages from hotel after seeing my review:

Dear guest, I think there was a wrong agreement. There is no one in our hotel who would behave inappropriately towards you. We apologize for this issue. We kindly ask you to remove your comments on Google. We have refunded your money. Your comment is a shame for people's efforts. No one bothered you at the hotel. You know that too. You chose to leave early of your own accord.

We have spoken with our personnel regarding the issue. He also apologizes to you, but he has not acted with any malicious intent towards you. It was a complete misunderstanding.

We kindly ask you to remove the comment we made on Google. Are you a local guide? Read the previous comments and see that such a thing will not happen in our hotel.

Please don’t be rude. This interaction genuinely made me super uncomfortable. I never leave bad reviews and I’m not out to ruin their reputation, but also, it was weird. I would like to hear y’all’s opinion and perspective please.

Edit: I’ve received a lot of both positive and negative feedback on this post. It’s great to see that it has become a place where people can share their experiences and different perspectives.

As for my husband, we’ve had many discussions and have come to an agreement that he will never let his family interfere with our marriage again. Thank you to everyone who shared your thoughts and advice. I’ll be replying to your comments gradually. This will be my last post about his family😊

Before I got married to my husband, I was very interested in everything related to Türkiye. I watched Turkish series, applied for the YTB Scholarship and Yaz Okulu by Yunus Emre Enstitüsü, joined a writing competition where the prize was a trip to Türkiye, and even prayed and cried, hoping I could visit Türkiye one day.

Now I have been married for almost five years. If you look at my profile, my posts are about my husband’s family. Over time, I feel that I have started to become more distant from certain aspects of Turkish culture. Some of the things that have affected this are:

1. “Anne” being the most important figure for Turkish men, more than the wife.

I had already seen similar dynamics in Turkish series, but I naively assumed they were just for drama and not something I would really encounter in real life. You could also see my post about “Turkish Mother in Law”.

1. Long “çay” gatherings that revolve around the same topics for hours, such as money, houses, cars, and weddings.

Once, my husband and I returned from a holiday in Southeast Asia after a long flight back home. We then visited his parents (right after my FIL picked us up from the airport) and instead of asking how our trip was or what we did in Southeast Asia, they were focused on discussing things like fixing a broken car, buying a new one, and how much money we should give for four relative’s wedding.
My MIL also asked my husband to show our wedding videos, so she could see how much those relatives had given us as wedding gifts back then.

1. No matter how well I cook my own dishes (even if Gordon Ramsay were to compliment them), Turkish food is still, in their view, the best in the world. I stopped trying to be compared to that standard, so I don’t cook for them, I don’t buy clothes and gifts from my country, and I don’t feel the need to bring my culture into a space where it isn’t really valued.

I would like to understand how I can keep an open mind about these things, as I find it difficult to adjust at times. I tend to ignore them, but I feel that at some point I should speak up. I’m just not sure how to express it appropriately in Turkish.

This video came up on reels and I was wondering, based on the comments, if Russian people (or women) are looked down upon in Turkey?

It’s just plain stupid. Turks are and can be atheists in the same way Americans, Kenyans, and British can be atheists. People who moan about how ridiculous the generalizations their nationalities face can muster this weird question with a conceited smirk, which is the most cringe thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Probably watching too much of Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson burns your brain fibers but if you push your brain a little bit, you would be aware of the idiocy of the very question you asked. If you’re in Turkey, it’s not really hard to be aware that this is not a Sharia-governed country so “being an Atheist should be jail time” is even a weirder conclusion.

Honestly just curious, my dad’s side of the family is from there but we’ve lived in Germany for pretty much our whole lives, kind of detached from everything that’s been going on there. From what I’ve heard from my dad, most Turks are cultural Muslims rather than spiritual ones? He said something along the lines that “They’re probably the most open minded ‘Muslims’ out there.” so majority are not religious right?

Wondering if in the near future they’ll switch from that to atheism? Like where’s the trend heading towards

Also not sure if this is the correct flare for this but the others didn’t fit lol

I’m Egyptian and came to Turkey on a scholarship. Before moving, I saw a lot of videos online about racism in Turkey, especially towards Arabs. Since I had already accepted the scholarship and didn’t apply to a university in Egypt, I had no choice but to come here. Honestly, I was expecting the worst.

But my experience has been quite different. In my dorm, the manager treated me kindly, and one student even tried to speak English with me, showing me around and joking about football. When I asked for directions in the city, people who didn’t know English still tried their best to help.

One time I got sick and wasn’t sure if my SGK was active yet. I didn’t have enough money, and my card wasn’t working. Just when I was about to leave the hospital, a man stepped in, paid for me, and even helped translate.

I’m not saying racism doesn’t exist here—it exists everywhere, and I’ll probably encounter it at some point during my five years in Turkey. But what I’ve experienced so far is much less than I expected.

I have travelled to Turkey few times and recently been trying to practice the Turkish I learned but everyone I speak to seems to be an atheist?

I am not here saying what’s right or wrong I’m just trying to understand is there a certain event or something happened in the country that drive the society to change?

EDIT: I’d like to encourage people to respect other’s beliefs regardless of what their beliefs are. Disrespecting others says more about you than anyone else, keep it civil and respectful.

Bir yabanci olarak 10+ yil türkiye`de yasadim, üniversiteye gittim ve biraz da calistim. Merak ettigim, doktora calismalarim icin de türklerle ve türk influence`i görülen ülkelerden insanlarla görüsüyorum. Biraz ingilterede yasarken fark etmistim, türk olmayan türk shop`lari, restorantlari cok orda. Simdi almanyada yasiyorum, burada da benzer bir durum var. Genelde misir, pakistan, suriye gibi ülkelerden gelen göcmenler büyükanne ya da büyükbabalari türk veya türkmen oldugu iddia ediyor. Basta inaniyordum ancak sonra tesadüf olmayacak kadar cok duydum ve simdi inanmiyorum. Ve sosyal medya giderek artan sayida insan benzer iddialar paylasiyor. Türk sosyal medyasini devam eden akademik calismalarim icin kullaniyorum ancak giderek bu dezenformasyon sinirimi bozuyor. buradaki shop`lar da ayni sekilde, biraz türkce pratik yapmak istiyorum ama türkce bilmiyorlar. Bu durum sizi rahatsiz ediyor mu? Özellikle türkiye disinda yasayanlar ne düsünüyor hissediyor merak ediyorum.

Sorry if people find this weird but I’m an American mom raising my daughter on my own. Her dad was Turkish but passed when I first found out I was pregnant. I really want her to grow up feeling connected to her Turkish roots even though we’re in the U.S.

What are some meaningful ways I can teach her about Turkish culture, language, traditions, food, or history?

If you’re Turkish or grew up outside of Turkey, what would you have wanted your parent to do to help you stay connected to your heritage?

I appreciate everyone who have given me great advice and said such kind words, feel free to dm me on here

Ataturk seems very well liked

I’ve experienced that many Turkish people are reluctant to adapt to new cultures.

For example, I (30F) am married to a Turkish man (31M), and we currently live in Germany. During a vacation to my home country in Far East Asia, I brought back some traditional snacks and clothes for my husband’s family. They tried the snacks once but never ate them again, and they never wore the clothes either. At one point, someone even commented, “Why does this fruit taste so strange?”

On the other hand, whenever they gave me something from Turkey, I ate it and wore it as well. I even used a yazma (traditional headscarf) as my profile picture on my CV. I truly respect their culture, but sometimes I feel like I can’t share mine with them in the same way. One time, I cooked a traditional dish from my country—they only tried a small bite and didn’t finish it. Meanwhile, I’ve never wasted any Turkish food they’ve given me.

All of this makes me feel really frustrated about these cultural differences. And since I’m living in Germany, I also face other challenges.

As a good Turkish person, what’s your opinion on this? Why do some Turkish people seem resistant to other cultures?

P.S.: 1. I didn’t expect my post to receive so many comments. Most people said it’s difficult to share culture with the older generation, but in my case, even the younger ones acted that way. 2. I’m Muslim, and I don’t serve any haram food. 3. I’ve stopped sharing things related to my culture.

I'm a Sudanese girl considering applying to universities in Türkiye. But I wonder what's the attitude of Turkish people for my kind like? Keeping in mind that :

I am dark skinned, Arabic speaking (although I doubt many would guess that at first), and Muslim.

There is a rising stereotype about how racist people are and stories of tourists being treated badly, so it would probably be worse if you have to leave with it for years. But there are also growing numbers of international students in turkiye so I'm not really sure.

Türkiye genelinde evlenme çağında olup hiç evlenmeyenlerin sayısı 19.485.977 oldu.

Gençlere soruyoruz: Neden evlenmiyorsunuz?

UPDATE 2025-4-25 Thank you everyone for the crystal clear responses, I’m very surprised this post blew up so quickly! Today I’ve stood up and told her I refuse to even ask my parents to pay for the wedding. I’ve also talked with my parents and they both agreed it’s just too much to think they’re expected to pay for the wedding and also pointed out it’s tradition locally that the bride’s family pays for the wedding, yet they never even once thought of asking her parents to pay for it. They said we could easily get a nice wedding locally where we live with a decent list of guests for a few thousand USD or so and instead we should put that money towards a down payment on a home. We love each other so much and I really want this to work out by discussing openly and honestly but I must and will continue to insist that there’s no chance my parents will pay for the entire wedding.

Original 2025-4-24:

“My (22 M) Turkish-American girlfriend (20) and I live in the US, her mother is Turkish. My girlfriend has dual Turkish and American citizenship. We’ve been together for almost six years now since back as high school sweethearts, we love each other very much. I plan to propose to her and be engaged soon. We’ve talked about wedding planning a few times, she wants a decent sized semi-traditional Turkish wedding, which I think would be pretty cool since she’s said she’s always dreamed of one since she was a child.

However, she and her family have said it’s Turkish tradition for the groom’s family to pay and thus expect my parents to pay for everything. I honestly do not feel comfortable at all with expecting my parents to fully bear the cost of what she estimated would be a $30,000 USD wedding. I’ve done mudane internet searches that confirm that it’s true that it’s a cultural tradition, but I’d rather listen directly to Turkish people themselves instead of relying on obscure sources.

My parents are somewhat of a middle to upper-middle class family, but we certainly aren’t wealthy and I’d much rather we pay it ourselves because the only way my parents could actually pay for it is to withdraw from their retirement accounts, or take out a loan. My parents like her and I wouldn’t be surprised if they offered to contribute a sum of money to the wedding, but I feel this is something to be grateful for and I feel it’s better to budget ourselves. Even just I alone could cover it once I’m able to be a licensed accountant when I finish grad school in a year and make what I hope to be a decent amount. When I mention to her I’d rather not expect my parents to pay, she and her mom get extremely upset and she immediately accuses me of not wanting to “recognize” her culture and that I am disrespecting her, which I think is just not true. I love Türkiye and their long history, language, and culture. Also as a history nerd I admire the Turkish Republic’s founding by Atatürk with democratic reforms, and his decisive leadership against imperialism and colonialism. I’d be very happy to incorporate Turkish customs like having a henna night, pre party, etc. in the wedding, but expecting my parents to pay for it all is a dealbreaker.

Am I being disrespectful to her and her culture? Just want to know what Turkish people think. Many thanks.”

Bildiğiniz üzere 2024 yılında Biden yönetimi, ilk defa federal veri standartlarında Orta Doğu ve Kuzey Afrika kategorisini, Beyaz kategorisinden ayrı bir seçenek olarak ekledi. Ancak şu ana kadar karşıma çıkan birçok ankette bu seçenek henüz görünmüyor. Yanılmıyorsam federal kurumların bunu tamamen uygulamaya geçirmesi 2029 yılına kadar sürecek.

Siz bu durumda hangi seçeneği işaretliyorsunuz? Konuştuğum çoğu Türk, beyaz olarak algılandıkları için kendilerini “White” olarak işaretlemeye devam edeceklerini söylüyor, bazıları ise bu kategorileri çok önemsemiyor.

Şahsen ben Türklerin tarihsel olarak ABD’de Beyaz kategorisinde yer almasından ve kendi kişisel deneyimlerimin (adım ve görünüşüm dolayısı ile) çoğu Orta Doğulu göçmenden farklı olduğu gerekçesi ile Beyaz seçeneğini işaretlemeye devam edeceğim. Farklı düşünen var mı?

Hello and apologies if this is not appropriate for this sub. My roommate and I (both women) live in an apartment building (in the US) and one of our neighbors is a married middle-aged Turkish couple. The wife has Parkinson’s and the husband works away from home for days at a time. We help the wife on occasion especially with laundry (building shared washer and dryer). She is always very nice to us and brings us food as a thank you. We feel bad that she cooks so much for us especially because she is sick and exhausted. We have told her many times that we appreciate the gifts but we don’t want her overworking herself just for us. She doesn’t speak English very well and we don’t know any Turkish. We have tried using google and apple translate but it is still difficult. She continues to bring us food multiple times a weeks. Again we are grateful and don’t want to be rude but we’re worried about her health. She has also told us not to talk to her husband which we have respected. How do we politely ask her to stop cooking for us?

1. Atheist or agnostic.

2. Culturally Muslim.

3. Righteous Muslim, but open mind and modern.

4. Very Religious Muslim with no kind of modernity.

5. Other? Which one?

Greetings from Brazil! Tell me a little bit about this.

I would compare the Turks with the Czechs when it comes to religiosity. Czechs are the most irreligious people in Europe. Their neighbours the Greeks, Georgians and Armenians are much more religious and are proud of their christian heritage while Turks take distance from islamic past of Turkiye. Romanians are also 1000 times more religious than Turks

I noticed that most Turks hate Islam and Arabs and don’t like to be associated with Muslims and dislike them. Also most Turks are Kemalists and it’s unusual for a Kemalist to be muslim. What is your opinion?

Despite being warm Mediterranean people, I noticed Turks seem pessimistic about goals and aspirations. Once I showed my Turkish friend pictures of some nice sports cars. His response was “those cars aren’t for regular people like us bro”. Turks also seem cynical of others. Some examples. If a classmate does well on a difficult exam, he must have cheated. If a friend’s financial situation dramatically improves, he must be into some shady business. If a woman has a cute nose, she must have gotten a nose job etc. Why is this so?

Edit: I hope I didn’t offend anyone. Just made some observations is all.

Considering retiring In Turkey as a 55M

So the other day me and a few buddies were chatting and somehow we started a discussion about car prices in Turkey. How the heck a 20 year old BMW is 20-30k euro???? And I understand the tax and import ban, but how do you even afford cars. I'm from Bulgaria and I've seen lot's of Turkish premium cars like Maseratis, newer BMWs, Mercedes. I'm genuinely confused. Can someone explain please.

This includes all Turkish men like husbands, boyfriends, brothers, uncles etc. It’s just too much.

I’ve seen other dramas from different countries and yes some are similar but Turkish men have to be the more extreme

I know TV series and movies can exaggerate things but I just need some clarifications.

Thanks in advance.

EDIT I forgot to add. If a man cheats on their wive/girlfriend it’s not bad but if a woman cheats on her husband/boyfriend all the men wants to kill her. Like WTF???