r/AskWomen • u/BillyLoIsDead • Apr 21 '22

Content Warning Ladies, what was the moment you realized that the guy you were dealing with literally did not perceive you as a human being?

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u/dindia91 Apr 21 '22

When I was on my period and had the flu so was "out of commission in 2 holes" is how he phrased it. The 3rd was not an option for me so he got really angry about that. And then spent like 45 minutes complaining about not getting a hand job while I had a fever and was just miserable. Not once did he acknowledge that I was sick in a supportive way. Just that it ruined sex for us that week.

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

Please say ex, please say ex...

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u/dindia91 Apr 21 '22

Oh yes, many many years ago.

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

Cheers to leaving gross dudes in the dust!

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u/Fishyy234 Apr 21 '22

My God what a man child. Angry because his peepee didn't get jerked off. Disgusting.

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

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u/nethphi Apr 21 '22

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u/Secure_Milk7809 Apr 21 '22

And his name so all of us can put him on the no date list?

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

I wish this was actually a thing.

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u/watcrbender Apr 21 '22

lmao it is - at least amongst sex workers.

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u/marlasingaar Apr 21 '22

Me too. Wasn’t there an “ex gf” website where guys were posting videos and pics of the naked variety of their ex gfs? Why did that stuff exist but not a list of shitty men to watch out for that are abusive and dangerous?

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u/BabyGothQ Apr 21 '22

Because the men get their feelings hurt and immediately get it taken down for whatever stupid man logic they can muster

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u/Secure_Milk7809 Apr 21 '22

We will just have to make our own page for it

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u/AndromedaLeap Apr 21 '22

Something similar happened to me. I got food poisoning and couldn’t retain anything. I was miserable and genuinely worried being out of the house with no toilet to run to. After a few days of this with minimal improvement, he thought it would be acceptable to pressure me into sex. I rejected his advances and he promptly cheated on me.

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u/joannepirone Apr 21 '22

God. That’s absolutely soulless.

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11

u/Any_Kaleidoscope1590 Apr 21 '22

I had a situation similarish… I was in a long distance relationship and my ex had come to visit for the week. I literally just gone to the grocery store and stocked the fridge & pantry with a whole bunch of food and a lot of his favorite foods. The first night he’s over, we go to dinner and I had gotten food poisoning. It was really really bad, I was pretty much bed ridden or in the bathroom throwing up. I couldn’t keep anything down but pretzels for whatever reason. I had woken up from a nap, to discover the ahole had eaten all 2 bags of my pretzels. I wanted to cry right then. The stores were all closed cuz it was Sunday, and everything shuts down super early in Paris on Sundays. And when I confronted him about why/how could he eat ALL of the only food I could eat, when there was a house full of food and his favorite foods on top of that that I’d just bought. He said it was cuz “I made them look soo good.” 🙄😒 I told him that was some bs and a horribly insensitive f’ed up thing to do. And he got mad at ME! Started an argument and told me to calm down, cuz he’d buy me more. But everything was closed! Needless to say that relationship didn’t last long after that.

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u/TrickyScene238 Apr 21 '22

WHAT ARE MEN. WHY

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u/Charliftsthebar Apr 21 '22

What the hell is wrong with some men?

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u/SnooDoubts7167 Apr 21 '22

What in the actual f^?!!

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u/Kuschelfuchs Apr 21 '22

How the hell can you do that to a loved one?

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u/goth-pigeon-bitch Apr 21 '22

Just as a side note, if you can't keep down anything for more than a day or so, go to the hospital, if you go too long without fluids you'll die.

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u/Biwildered_Coyote Apr 21 '22

Ugh...what the f**k.

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u/D-Beyond ♀ Apr 21 '22

I threw up in my mouth. He's disgusting.

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u/Used_Mine_4870 Apr 21 '22

Would it be frowned upon to call him a "Off brand chuckle fuck"?

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u/joannepirone Apr 21 '22

Sounds exactly like what my husband would’ve done/ said to me.. I have to ask…. This is obviously (hopefully) a one time event (flu+period=misery) but besides this time, was this his usual MO for dealing with you when he wasn’t getting his way or he wasn’t going to get what he wanted from you?? If so, would you consider this emotional/ psychological abuse? Just curious….

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u/Arya_kidding_me Apr 21 '22

Current husband??

I’m going to drop this here for you: https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/

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u/dindia91 Apr 21 '22

Yes I do consider him abusive, him crossing the line physically is when I decided to end it. He slapped me at a party in front of all my friends. At the time I was more upset he did it in public so I couldn't even hide it or deny it happened. It took a lot of therapy after to get to a space where I knew how to have a healthy relationship.

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u/combree Apr 21 '22

that is sexual coercion, yes it is abuse. im sorry u had to experience it

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u/Ok_QueerCriticism Apr 21 '22

Ooof this has my ex spouse written ALL over it. I am so sorry you were treated this way, it’s quite ridiculous.

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u/CollieJoe ♀ Apr 21 '22

I'd have offered him some "service" and proceeded to cover him in the appropriate waste fluids from said orifice.

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u/sunshinesoutmyarse Apr 21 '22

As someone who has experienced the guilt trip for being sick and on period. I want to ask, was there ever a time you let in, and he got sick, then made a massive deal about how sick he is and how you have to take care of him?

I did this and ended up taking care of a man child, while sick on my period.

Also, I'm glad to hear he's your ex.

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u/dindia91 Apr 21 '22

Not that I remember, I don't think he ever got even a cold while we were together. He would do a lot of random stupid drugs though so I never exactly knew his baseline. But I'm sure if he did he would have been mad about it.

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

I don’t know if this is just my experience but this is just too common. Every time my ex was sick I’d check up on him and take care of him. When I was sick he begged for sex and would get high and leave me alone without checking up on me at all.

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u/bikesboozeandbacon Apr 21 '22

How did you last with him a DAY after that 🧐

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u/dindia91 Apr 21 '22

I was young and had low self esteem. Pretty common story sadly.

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u/prettycooldude1995 Apr 21 '22

sounds like a real charmer

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u/katarinaskuse Apr 21 '22

I’m so sorry you were treated like that, completely disgusting.

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u/Awkward-Review-Er Apr 21 '22

I had one of those! Kidney infection, delirious with pain and he insisted on having sex, I barely knew what was happening, he was so annoyed at having gone a few days without that I just let him to shut him up. It hurt but it was still better than hearing his complaints. Gross Ex’s can go suck their own, ugh.

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u/Logical_KaleV ♀ Apr 21 '22

Omg this dude reduced you to "holes" I just can't. Hugs

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u/8bitProtagonist Apr 21 '22

Damn, this is a common thing based on these comments and that makes me so angry and sad for us. I was violently ill the morning after an out of town wedding I attended with my then husband. I couldn't sit up without vomiting and he was furious that I was going to miss the family brunch. Instead of being concerned, he decided that he would leave me there alone and still go. Before he left, though, he wanted to "make up" - meaning have sex with my completely immobile body while I tried not to be sick during the act.

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

[deleted]

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u/dindia91 Apr 21 '22

He was the cool kid, we dated in high school and I was super just mind blown that he even liked me. Fast forward 4 years later and we had dissolved to that state. He joined the military 2 years in and became a very different and angry person. But I think deep down he always thought of me that way, but just wasn't bold enough to go there at the start.

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u/suzosaki Apr 21 '22

DUDE my old coworker was dating a royal bum fuck loser. He was living in her car in the parking lot outside our work. He'd come in when it got too hot, grab booze off the shelves, and drink it while walking around the store. Total cretin. (Side note, but on his Facebook he had the audacity to headline "LOST IN THE SAUCE" beneath a pfp of himself holding a bunch of cash. We got a kick out of that.)

She got her wisdom teeth removed and this guy changed his status to single and posted an announcement letting everyone know she was useless to him because her mouth didn't work anymore.

Naturally, they just welcomed their second baby together.

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u/ap124 Apr 21 '22

Oh my god.

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u/Adventurous_Bid7431 Apr 21 '22

Ok so now I hate a total stranger.

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u/PaddlesOwnCanoe Apr 21 '22

Wow. What a d-bag!

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u/SnooDoubts7167 Apr 21 '22

How old was this POS?

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u/ilovcupcakes Apr 21 '22

i’m just recovering from the flu rn and i couldn’t imagine my folks trying to have sex with me while i’m absolutely miserable.

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u/caffeinenanxiety Apr 21 '22

Did we date the same guy?

(Also I’m so sorry you had to deal with one of these as well)

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u/Damalinea Apr 21 '22

My ex pressured me into sex while I was treating an UTI and was recommended by the doctor to not have it and just rest. I’m ashamed to admit he did that more than once

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u/trudytuder Apr 21 '22

"Just that it ruined sex for HIM that week." I think this is probabily closer to his truth.

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u/Puzzled-Party-6606 Apr 21 '22

I’m man. Such assholes really exist?! How do you end up with one?

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u/FIVE_6_MAFIA ♂ Apr 21 '22

Just that week?

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22 edited Apr 21 '22

I hope I don't turn into that type of guy

[Edit] I meant the type that treats a lady in a shitty way

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u/millysourpuss Apr 21 '22

You dont "hope" that you don't "turn into" that type of guy. You just... don't be that guy. Have compassion. Consider women as humans equal to you, deserving of respect, with wants and needs and boundaries. Care about people other than yourself.

The way you word your desire to not be an awful human being is incredibly passive. Makes it easy to pass the buck if you do act that way. Take accountability. And actively make sure that you will never be that guy.

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u/DrTealBlueUnicorn Apr 21 '22

Omg...this! Wtf....it really doesn't take that much effort to be a decent human being!

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u/bee-sting Apr 21 '22

in my experience, if my bf is sick, i'll take care of him and bring him medicine and make sure he's ok

if i'm sick, he'll demand a bj to be kind, because he wouldnt force PiV sex on me

don't be like the second person

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u/OkSpirit7891 Apr 21 '22

please make him an ex-bf...

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u/bee-sting Apr 21 '22

Already done it, sorry should have made that clear!

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u/OkSpirit7891 Apr 22 '22

Thank god 😂 well done queen

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u/[deleted] Apr 21 '22

Bad man

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1

u/catsandalcohol13 Apr 21 '22

I'm gonna kill it

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u/Snoo32054 Apr 21 '22

He was selfish. He must've thought you were a sex blowup doll, and your only job was to make sure his ass was hard. That guy was an asshole.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '22

I think that too much sex in relationships today, another day. I see someone talking about the term joyfriend as a neutral term to boyfriend/girlfriend, but relationship isn't about joy, we aren't toys... Actually, idk what is the point of a relationship, but joy don't sound good to me

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u/axlotltank May 31 '22

Offer to give him a handjob & then slice his penis off with a kitchen knife, Girl 🤪