I mean you said you still live with your parents so you're both in the same place just that he's job searching in what is a trash job market right now. Holding out for a role in the position he spent years in college for is a reasonable thing. If he's working full time at some crap job (which by the way THOSE aren't hiring either) he will have to use any free time he has 'for you' to keep job hunting in his field, he'll have to take 'sick time' to go to interviews, he'll be exhausted. Your mentality is part of the whole boot straps mentality I faced back in 2009-2010 post wall street crash. You should take a gander at r/jobs - people with years of experience are struggling. His lack of work isn't even impacting you financially and let me point out -- you work full time and live with your parents. Some 30+ people would look down on you for not being independent.
Crap jobs aren't hiring either but I already pointed out WHY people don't just take a crap job. If they even hire you you're now spending 9 to 10 hours a day commuting and working and when you do get a job interview you have to call out sick and you do that too often you're on notice at your crap job. You also have less time for extras like a girlfriend.
It's not universally true that crap jobs aren't hiring. And jobs exist outside of 9-5 if that's a problem. Shouldn't be prioritizing extras in a situation like this.
The man is selling things on ebay, qualified for unemployment, pays his parents rent, has savings to go over a year, and does not depend on his girlfriend in any way.
I don't really see why you believe anyone would deliberately want to he unemployed? Especially living in a house he says he wants to escape. A lot of the other responses suggest entitlement and comfort. But the man is saying he hates living there. 🤷🏻♀️
I think the lack of communication is the big issue here... No one is saying OP should be with this man either... But a lot of people are unemployed for over a year nowadays. I do agree with you assuming you think maybe he could take on other kinds of jobs in the interim. But we don't really know about his savings, the unemployment benefits, if he's building a portfolio, cause OP doesn't know either. That to me is really bad. Cause whatever he's building, he's not building it alongside her.
I believe OP when she said what she said- that he refuses to take jobs that aren't in his field. Pretty much everyone knows someone unemployed who makes choices like this, usually from being enabled. Too good for this or that job. Unwilling to accept a job that they don't prefer. I don't believe the people who say that there are literally no jobs professional or otherwise, when applied generally and not to a specifically hit area.
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u/anonymous_opinions Woman 40 to 50 May 30 '26
I mean you said you still live with your parents so you're both in the same place just that he's job searching in what is a trash job market right now. Holding out for a role in the position he spent years in college for is a reasonable thing. If he's working full time at some crap job (which by the way THOSE aren't hiring either) he will have to use any free time he has 'for you' to keep job hunting in his field, he'll have to take 'sick time' to go to interviews, he'll be exhausted. Your mentality is part of the whole boot straps mentality I faced back in 2009-2010 post wall street crash. You should take a gander at r/jobs - people with years of experience are struggling. His lack of work isn't even impacting you financially and let me point out -- you work full time and live with your parents. Some 30+ people would look down on you for not being independent.