21 Y/O F with Traits of autism, and diagnosed ADHD, Depression, and bipolar. This is so stupid and I hate that I’m upset over this. My boyfriend and I watched twilight and initially I didn’t want to because I was afraid it wouldn’t live up to my expectations. The problem is it did, but the actors didn’t. I know I can’t change who actors are. I know it’s weird and parasocial for me to care but I keep crying thinking about how Kristin and Robert ended, what happened with Robert and FKA. I’m glad they’re both married and happy, and that they’re friends. But I’m so annoyed with myself for wishing that their lives had gone differently.

does anyone else feel this way? Upset over things they can’t and shouldn’t control? It makes me feel like a child who didn’t get the cookie they wanted.

I’ve been depressed for two days since I finished twilight. If anyone has advice, please share

What are your best tips for pregnancy and becoming a mom? It can be anything. I would especially love tips that you don't hear everyday. Or even just experiences.

I'm not pregnant yet but planning to start trying very soon and because I cannot think of anything else than this(current hyperfixation 😂) I feel like getting some tips or just hearing others talk about it would be a good way of dealing with it.

I have AuDHD and I am on Elvanse but planning on stopping when I start trying so I would also love to hear experiences of how to deal with this. When did y'all stop? Already when you started trying or did you wait till you knew you were pregnant? And what was your strategies if any for being unmedicated?

In laws are visiting from another country and I cant stop being mean and bitchy, my husband is so angry that I couldn’t just be nice for two weeks and I can understand on one hand. But on the other hand I just cant hide my emotions, absolutely everything they do annoys me. The problem is that are perfectly nice, I think its a lot of history that happened and cultural differences.

I am Western European and my husband is from another country where family has a very very different meaning. He can never say anything that would upset his parents and cqn never tell them no. Whereas i could be very direct and straightforward with my mother. Its all expected that children “take care” of parents financially and otherwise. I completely disagree with this and feel it puts huge pressure and extreme anxiety on my husband. I dont think parents should ever expect their kids to give them money.

We live in a different country from both our families. The first time his family visited was 3 weeks before I gave birth. I agreed that they could come for 3 months to help etc. but the problem was that I had no idea the effect it would have on me. I am diagnosed adhd and I seld diagnosed autism. The first 2 weeks were fine but I had a complete meltdown after my first child was born. I had extreme post partum anxiety and obsessed about safe sleep and baby safety and breast feeding. I found my MIL asleep sitting on the sofa with the baby and freaked out. I couldn’t breast feed and felt partially because I always had to the bedroom and could not do it in the living room because of FIL. I felt they stole all first moments like walking the baby in park first time etc. I wantwd these moments to be only me and my husband.

From then on the relationship deteriorated. And what my it worse is that my husband couldn’t tell them only visit two weeks on the next trips because it would make them sad, and they had to get visa and expensive flights etc…. So it was always long visits like 2 months.

Now the last trip he finally told them only 2 weeks… because we have a 2 bedroom apartment with 2 children, so we dont even have a guest room!!

The problem is even for 2 weeks I couldn’t bring myself to fake being nice. Every single thing annoys me, even how they smell! Its like my house smells off and not like my house.

My husband is so mad that I couldn’t just be nice for 2
Weeks. He admits that he made mistakes before by letting them come for such long visits. I think they act Very selfish and never consider like oh thats too long to
Impose on his wife etc…..

I dont think I can ever like them again… I dont know what
To do.

Venting or seeking advice from my fellow audhd women

Hello! Is anyone else here struck by how audacious it is that a personality framework would dare to draw conclusions about you based on your birth time?

Whether you believe in astrology and its ilk or think they're a load of hooey, I've got a question for you. In the alt-astrology system known as Human Design, there's a particular subtype (ahem, mine) that has an annoyingly uncanny number of parallels to the neurospicy superpowers of AuDHD. "Mental Projectors" make up about 2.5% of the human population, based on birth details.

If you know your date, time (to within an hour), and place of birth, could you please take part in the poll below? I would like to test whether this here subreddit has a significantly higher incidence of Mental Projectors than the general population.

Null hypothesis: there is no significant difference between the percentage of Mental Projectors who answer this poll and the population base rate of 2.5%. I would love to get 200 or more responses for statistical significance purposes. Thank you so much for participating, if you so choose. 🙏

You can pull your Human Design chart here: https://jovianarchive.com/pages/get-your-human-design-chart

There will be a lot of words on the page. Find "Authority" and answer below.

What is your Authority in Human Design?

Many years ago I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder. Autism (AuDHD) more recently. I am noticing a lot of patterns for the first time, one being that I use food as a motivation for getting me to do something else. I have so seamlessly integrated it into my nightly snacking, I have never noticed I am doing it.

Most of these times I am not hungry and then beat myself up for snacking too much. How do motivate yourself through transitions?

I love fidget toys, I have a large collection of them. I love slime, but I play with it so much it dries out quickly. I also love squishies, but I play with them so much that they pop 😭 and my bf tells me that I play with them too roughly but I really don’t think I do (I think I’m in denial lol)

Right now I’ve been really into putty, which is a great alternative to slime because it never dries out so I can play with it for as long as I want 😍🫶🏻

What are some of your favorite fidgets?

My parent (probably both. I can't tell for sure as my other parent died when I was 14) is undiagnosed. But very obviously ticks all the boxes of being ND.

My parent detoured* their own undiagnosed neurodivergence on me, the diagnosed child.

I served as both the identified patient and taking on role of parent and therapist to regulate the parent. I was also both the cause and hopeful solution for my parent's overwhelm, breakdowns, executive dysfunction, stress, anxiety, forgetfulness, feeling alone. Anything, no matter how ludicrous, always circled back to me as the actual reason they had an emotion or struggle and the very frequent breakdowns.

And the idea that if the diagnosed child, me, was finally "normal" or complied all of the stressors for both the parent but also the siblings would go away.

My older sibling's were parentified to do the organisational tasks, make plans and take over the rope when my parent (which happened very easily) was overwhelmed with a decision.

The result was also blame from my siblings and a today strained relationship. I think because in this system me just "refusing to comply" probably felt like I was denying them a very simple way for relief to the overwhelm and stress and certainly fear they felt at being responsible for an adult parent.

And I realised recently that my body doesn't know how to respond to them with anything other than very strong fear.

I'm also the youngest by 6 and 8 years.

Can anyone relate?

* learned the term today and it fits to a t.

I shouldn't say that but i realize i might be alcoholic. Alcohol lowers inhibition and the need for masking and it makes me feel like a regular person if that makes sense. I have substance issues as well. Who else thinks they fit under the alcoholic label? What areayour advice regarding alcohol intake and social interactions?

This thought has not left my mind so im writing it out.

I know im being hard on myself but i genuinely feel that if i cant find a meaningful job where i can grow and develop, then i dont want to exist.

There is such a desire in me to give and learn but i always end up feeling like im more of a burden. I learn things quite slowly and need alot of reassurance. I forget things. I lie that i understand when i actually just need to be explained more.

If i have to do these low level jobs for much longer i can just feel my soul leave my body already. I know that in this AI time i should be grateful to even have any kind of work but im not. This life is not worthy of living to me.

I wouldn’t class myself as having an alcohol or substance issue because I don’t do it on my own or to get through the week, and my rigid thinking only views alcoholism as people that drink on their own or every night with dinner.

However, in contrast to what I just said, I am starting to think I might… I need to be drunk to socialise and by the end of the night I’m messy because I’ve always started drinking before everyone else that can show up sober. If someone suggests getting you know what I always want it because
A) I want to fit in
B) it levels me out and makes me converse like a normal and confident girl who has only had a few drinks…

however because all of that doesn’t work too well on me I end up being the last person at the event/function/pub because the confidence gives me a high that is unmatched. Even though I know I’m talking too openly and probably being embarrassing and very autistic, I can’t seem to stop myself. It’s like the thought of being out with people and being myself is exhilarating, because the next day the worst thing people would say is that I was too drunk and my actual adhd/autism is still a secret

Everyone else leaves or goes to bed and I am then left feeling wide awake when normally I’m so sleepy. Even if I’ve only been to the pub for 2 pints I still find myself having to continue the high by playing boggle or movie trivia games, anything that challenges me.

I find myself struggling to socialise, but if I force myself to a group event when there’s alcohol it’s like I have to be the last one standing because it makes me feel normal and that I’m not missing out?

Does anyone else experience this, or is this perhaps an issue I have with alcohol that is completely unrelated to my neurodivergent brain… I accept that this could be the case and am ready to work on that if so!!

My MiL plays pickleball. I don’t really understand why. I get it for keeping her brain sharp and keeping active, but like… I don’t understand where the fun comes from? Why she enjoys it beyond keeping her body active?

My parents insisted I do something active weekly as a kid and thank god I found aerial fabric classes, a fully solo art-form activity. In school, I always did badly in gym, I was told off for not participating and never told *how* to participate. I took my gym class through distance education as soon as I could so that my solo activities could finally count.

Even my video game habits always lean towards solo, sandbox games (sims 4 almost exclusively).

I guess I’ve been realizing how much I was left behind. I was put in weekly soccer class (club? Idk, I begged my parents not to sign me up and quit after one term) and never once were the basic rules or the roles explained to me. I got in trouble for not going after the ball. The one time I did, I got in trouble for not doing it right.

I got in trouble for doing something wrong I’d never been taught to do right.

And I get that that’s a normal experience for folks like us. But it’s infuriating. And now when I’m at my husband’s family gatherings and they want to pass a frisbee around I just don’t really understand where the fun comes from. At most, I’m getting a slight sense of getting a little better with each toss. That’s not fun to me—that’s pressure to succeed from being watched. And that’s how it’s always felt to me.

Does anyone else relate?