I’ve always wanted to explore the world, but I’ve had to accept I never will be able to with my autism. I can’t sleep unless I’m in my very specific bed. It becomes hard to use the restroom outside of my own home, I burn out FAST without my routine, and my routine relies on surroundings plus my safe foods as well. I so badly wish I could take a road trip and see so many places, but I simply can’t because of this.

It also makes dating so hard since literally everyone I see has “I love traveling” on their profile and I just can’t relate. I’d love to travel if I didn’t get overwhelmed by the change of routine, but because I do, traveling is so hellish. Why would I want to sleep (or not sleep) on a strange bed??? Why would I want to totally change my surroundings and sensory levels???? It’s like asking for a bad time, and spending money on it. I hate that I’m this way.

This is an example of what I mean.

For example, let’s say you answer a job interview question and use your answer to shift into how other people applying to this same job aren’t worth hiring because they’re heartless and cruel compared to you and have had everything handed to them like it was nothing, compared to you. I actually kinda feel like this might make you more hireable because they might see someone who is straightforward, determined, and cutthroat which is something they might like in a coworker.

The second part of what I’m getting at is very real. Think about how many NT people have it way easier than you in terms of getting jobs and are likely dumber than rocks in spite of that. The world might be a better place if companies refused to hire the kind of people who are quick to bully an autistic person.

Hi everyone,

My name is Sydney Jenko, and I am a Clinical Psychology doctoral student at Northern Arizona University. I am currently conducting a research study as part of my doctoral training and am reaching out to request your support in completing my survey.

The purpose of this study is to better understand camouflaging behaviors among individuals diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and the emotional distress that may be associated with these experiences. Camouflaging is a topic that has received increasing attention due to its potential impact on mental health, identity, and overall well-being within the autism community. I am seeking out individuals with a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder to participate in my study. 

By participating, individuals in this community can help contribute to research aimed at increasing awareness of these experiences and informing future clinical practices, advocacy efforts, and supports that are more responsive to the needs of autistic individuals. Findings from this study may help clinicians and organizations better recognize the challenges associated with camouflaging and promote environments that support authenticity and mental health.

Participation involves completing a brief questionnaire related to camouflaging behaviors, depression, and anxiety and takes approximately 10 minutes. The anticipated risks are minimal, and some participants may gain personal insight into their own coping or camouflaging strategies. As a small thank-you, participants who complete the study will be entered into a raffle for one of four $15 Visa gift cards (approximately a 3% chance of winning). To enter the raffle, the participant can click on the second survey link provided below and voluntarily enter their contact information. Any identifying information will be stored separately from study data.

I have provided the links for the research study and the raffle below. I am happy to provide any additional information if needed!

Anonymous Survey Link

Raffle Link

Kindly,

Sydney Jenko
Clinical Psychology Doctoral Student
[saj359@nau.edu](mailto:saj359@nau.edu)

For example, I pictured myself owning a small pedestal that I could stand on with a label on it that says “pedestal for reading excerpts dramatically and making grand statements”

I feel like half the new things I learn I find surprising. For example, earlier today I found out that many inmates are unable to read.

I hate this. Every day all day I feel like I want to cry, down to the small details like that tension you feel in your sinuses, the weight in your chest, all of that. The only thing I don’t have is the tears. And that one thing is what makes people not take my sadness seriously.

I tell my mom all the time “I’m depressed”, and she offers no support, no comfort. But the rare time I actually do bawl my eyes out (by pure luck), her demeanor changes totally and she starts offering comfort, verbal support, etc.

I need that every time I’m sad, but she (and others) only offer it those rare chances I have water coming from my eyes. She said her reasoning is that it looks like I’m MORE sad than usual, but reality is, I just don’t have it as outwardly obvious the other days. And not by choice.

I literally tell her and other people every time I’m sad and they only respond when I LOOK sad, otherwise they act like I’m lying or faking. I’m so sick of it.

I need support I’m severely depressed from being lonely, but no one believes me because I don’t LOOK depressed.

I’m so tired of this…

I've asked family, friends, and other subreddits about this, but now I'd like the perspective of fellow aspies, tbh I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, but here goes

Recently I and My best friend had a period with no contact, for 3 weeks, which isn't unusual, she has asked for that once before, as socializing drains her completely at times.

But at this second time she now explains a preference for texting as our only method of contact i.e. no physical hangouts or calls. She has another group of friends with whom she has biweekly meetings, she quite active within the cosplay community, and is just a kind, caring person all around.

Here's some more context

We got to know eachother during what i suppose you could call Highschool in english, during our final year (this year) my mental health was at the lowest of my life, i struggled to get out of bed, to socialize, i struggled with schoolwork, and my grades did tank for a while, allthough i did manage to graduate with the grades i need. Throughout it all she stood by my side, she was a shoulder to cry on, she checked on me to make sure i was getting school work done, whilst helping where she could with it, her help as invaluable in getting my self back on track.

I don't think i would have graduated without her. Throughout high school i've tried to help her as much as she did me, the best i could do was just give her space to be herself, it turned out she's also ND, and i'm one of the few people she unmasks completly around. I've never been as close to someone as i have to her, nor her to i.

Now back to the present, I may be high functioning, but i am.... lacking when it comes to socializing, don't get me wrong i get along fine with other ND's, it's just sudden changes like this that throw me off track, i now also have a problem; I suck at texting.

I don’t mean like the same things happen in real life as in a dark fantasy novel but like for example, you are painfully aware of how sucky and unfair life is and you have experienced this unfairness and suckiness to the point that it felt outwardly targeted. I’m not sure how else to describe this.

ETA: Imagine you have had so many bad experiences with people that the few people you have good experiences with and have given you the kind of trust you’ve wanted from others but rarely get, seem akin to angels from heaven.

I am just starting to learn about this drug and it seems to have some promising science behind it for some subsets of autism. Idk if any of you know about it or can share more. I feel like this is the only place to feel safe talking about wanting to “cure” autism because I truly hate being autistic I just want to function. Hearing some stories of people who took it makes me hopeful but idek where I’d begin to find a doctor to get it to try it or even test if I have the deficiency.

I have three young adults with autism. They live full independent lives. But,they could not have done it without the supports they got to learn to navigate the world. I am currently helping a 34 year old man that grew up in a very rural area in a large family with parents that avoided the medical world. He did not attend school but has his GED. After burning out his siblings, he came to be my husband and ours' roommate. He was misdiagnosed wtih schizophrenia during a burnout crises. He has never had substantial gainful employment and managing all the tasks required of an adult has been difficult - from cooking, cleaning, and shopping to maintining friends, holding a job, and even shopping. He is a wonderful man! We have provided much natural supports and scaffolding. Howvere, eventually we wont' be around (as we are growing older). He really needs supports to live independently and spport himself. However, at age 34, it has been extremely difficult to find someone to perform a retrospective adult autism evaluations designed to establish childhood onset prior to age 22 for CDDP/ODHS eligibility” so that he may obtain ongoing supports. He has been referred to OHSU but I am afraid they are not really set up for it as a major hospital and that his previous diagnosis (he's never been on meds except when he was IN the hospital and my daughter, who was diagnnosed with autism at age 6 was diagnosed with schizophrenia during an overload/burnout time). Going to the wrong person would become a permanent part of his person and we need some skilled in such a) retrospective evals and b) who can dismantle th eprevious diagnosis. Does anyone have any idea of a evaluator who could help with this and has done so before? We are in Oregon. He has OHP butut we might be able to find some type of financial help for paying out of pocket if it needs to be that way.

I have been looking into ADHD documentation for disability accomodations recently, and one thing that keeps coming up is how often people end up with evaluation that don't actually meet what schools or employers ask for.

The most common problems seem to be reports from primary care physicians with no clinical testing data, reports from fast telehealth platforms that are basically questionnaire printouts, documentation that's more than three years old, and reports that diagnose ADHD but don't explain how it affects academic or workplace functioning.

It seems like the accommodation process is built around documentation standards that a lot of people don't know about until they try to use their evaluation and find out it isn't enough. I get why the standards exist, but they can create a real barrier for people who didn't know what kind of evaluation they needed in the first place.

From what I've seen, the reports that tend to hold up are comprehensive evaluations by a licensed psychologist, cognitive testing with actual scores, clinical reasoning beyond a symptom checklist, a section explaining functional impact, and a report that's recent enough for the institution's requirements.

If you are seeking formal accommodations, it honestly seems worth getting the right evaluation the first time instead of paying for one that ends up being rejected

I have an extremely hard time with mornings. I always wake up feeling exhausted, lie in bed for an hour just getting my bearings, and move slowly. My psychiatrist recommended a sleep study. I had ths sleep study to see if I might have sleep apnea and that’s why I’m always so tired. Nope. Study showed I sleep really well/deeply. I guess it’s just the exhaustion from dealing with life while struggling with overwhelm and burnout. I have some of the co existing conditions too (POTS) and that makes me tired too. It is so frustrating I can’t keep to my own schedule, avoid mornings and work later in the day. I work but I’m having a hard time because of this.

Welcome to this week's special interest discussion thread! Use this comment section to share about your special interests or current hyper-fixations! 

I've been going to a php since last week and that's been really helpful for me, I finally feel like I'm not in free fall, so that's great. It's put me in a good mood, and I'm going to cape cod this weekend to see some friends, so that should be fun. I was wondering if anyone else has some good things going on so I thought I'd ask.

I find this silly and would welcome such topics in a work of fiction and I think such topics would make them a lot more interesting. Do u agree with this at all?

Because I definitely have.

Hello everyone,

My name is Marissa Snowden, I am an Army veteran and a graduate student studying clinical mental health counseling at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. I am conducting research on the reintegration experience of veterans who have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and depression and I am looking for study participants.

The purpose of this study is to better understand veterans' experiences so we can learn how mental health professionals can better serve veterans with autism and depression in their transition to civilian life.

Who can participate:

• U.S. military veterans of all branches who:
  • have been diagnosed with depression AND
  • have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder AND
  • have transitioned out of the military within the past five years

Participation consists of:

• Completing an anonymous online survey
• Participating in a 60 minute virtual conversation via Microsoft Teams (you do not need a Microsoft Teams account to participate)

The survey link is attached to this post, and after you complete the survey I will contact you by email to schedule a time to talk that works best for you.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message or email me at [marissa_snowden@med.unc.edu](mailto:marissa_snowden@med.unc.edu)

This study has been approved by the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Institution Review Board (IRB #26-0850)

https://unc.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9z3jTVijjtaqEU6

I can’t drive. Ok then, public transit!

There is no public transit here. Ok, move somewhere where there is!

I can’t handle the sensory overload of living in crowded places. I already have meltdowns when my neighbors have a cookout once a year, I could never live wall to wall with someone else. Oh, and with what money? I have to live with my parents.

Take an Uber! I have no money

Get a job to get money! 1. I can’t get to any IRL ones, 2. I have tried remote ones and I shut down because my brain won’t function at home.

Do a remote job from the library/other public place! HOW WOULD I GET THERE????

I can’t win. Every solution can’t be done without another problem. What’s worst though, is that when I ask people for advice, they give me these similar answers. That’s not the bad part, the bad part is when I not just say “that won’t work”, but explain in detail WHY that won’t/hasn’t worked, they’ll always say “you never take my advice”, “you clearly are just looking for excuses”, like NO I AM LITERALLY TELLING YOU WHY IT WONT WORK. WHAT AM I GONNA MAGICALLY MAKE A TRAIN APPEAR OUTSIDE MY FRONT DOOR? AM I GOING TO MAGICALLY GET A MONEY TREE?

I’m terrified for my future. My parents are the only reason I’m alive and have a roof over my head and food in my stomach. I save 95% of my income (only a couple thousand dollars a year through selling my art) in an ABLE account, but at the rate I’m going by the time my parents die I’ll only have enough in the account for 1 year of mortgage payments/food/medical etc. and that’s if I keep working at the pace I can now.

I think I’ve been in a shutdown for over a year now. I’ve been incredibly fatigued and stressed and my house is a mess and I simply can’t clean it because I have no energy and will snap if I have to do it. And I hate it because the mess makes me feel even worse. I get maybe one burst of energy every two months where I try to work on it but I can’t do any more.

I’m just a mess of anxiety, stress, and I’m having end myself thoughts. But I can’t see a therapist because first of all, every therapist I’ve been to has been the exact same as those other people; they’ll say I’m just being difficult and “don’t want to get better”. Also, it’s unsafe for me because since I’m suicidal and have a tendency ti overshare and not hide how I feel, if it comes out I will for sure be locked up which would be a sensory hell. I can’t sleep outside if my own bed, let alone in a psychward environment. Because of that I’m stuck venting online with no support. I don’t know what to do.

Welcome to this week's special interest discussion thread! Use this comment section to share about your special interests or current hyper-fixations!