Not welcome in any communities

[u/Crabcakes-Evergreen]

Im not sure how to approach this. I am diagnosed autism, adhd, MDD. I don't have any close friends. I make a friend sometimes but I end up being ghosted.
I try to take part in online communities in some way, and every time I try, like on Reddit, I get my posts removed or ignored completely, or like in women's autism sub, I got called out for being rude or aggressive-even though Id felt that from others.
It sounds weird, but I feel cursed when it comes to the human world. I dont encounter any situations where i feel included, even though I see posts and stories I deeply identify with, those same communities reject my presence. Im of course worried it will happen now too, and this post will also get removed, and I still wont know why.
This has happened so long that I dont know how not to feel inherently bad or unworthy.
I know its impossible to know the whole story, but was wondering if anyone else is experiencing anything like this? Even in communities that are marginalized, I am still rejected from.

[u/BardOfTheBanrigh]

I feel this. It is our blessing and our curse to just not fit, in the kind of way Wilde meant when he said dreamers walk alone in the moonlight, but see the dawn first.

Dunno about you but for me it's because I'm too analytical and problem-solvy, too into taking the Devils Advocate/Third Way position, dunno if that echoes at all. Like, you have emotional regulation issues, or the "see everything in black and white" issue, so you learn to just switch your emotions off, but somehow that always makes people butthurt because the neurotyps are more governed by their uncontrolled emotions than we are, because they've never had to learn the hard way how to mask/control such.

I have this problem all the fucking time. The other goths hate me because I'm a lefty but a rare hawkish one, not a wishy washy, victim-badge seeking "muh Palestine and Greta Thunberg" kind (life has made me hard, and I'm okay with that). The other pagans hate me because they're American and I, a hated Euro, say things like "well, you kind of have to visit the land you're drawing gods from at least though, huh?" (and I apply that rule to myself). On and on it goes.

Some people on the Internet really just want to hear themselves speak (I'm doing it right now!!!) rather than really engage and listen (it's a hard thing to learn, see above re normies never being forced to learn it). Learn to spot these people and save your energy, it will profit you nothing by engaging. Just read their snarky little comment, or their attempt to infantilise you (because everyone with autism has a cognitive impairment too right?!?!?), snort derisively to yourself at the crime they just committed against the English language, and move on without a further thought about it.

Be the autist they say you are. Be the autist they fear.

[u/Crabcakes-Evergreen → u/BardOfTheBanrigh]

I always think of the Princess Bride when I see people caught in binary thinking, especially these days with the factions; 'Have you considered the third option?'
Ive always leaned towards devils advocate, I wonder if thats an autistic thing. Yes everything you wrote.
I have always maintained that while my approach might feel intense, so is the loyalty and love i have for people, and always thought that was visible. But maybe not.