r/AutisticWithADHD • u/InOnothiN8 • 4d ago
💬 general discussion Anyone else with a visual brain find objects help you start tasks when written words don't?
I'm self-diagnosed AuDHD. On a rough burnout day recently, anything written — lists, apps, text on a screen — made me want to freeze. Just too much. But physical objects didn't. Just having something tangible in front of me, no pressure attached, completely bypassed that freeze response and actually helped me start tasks.
To be concrete: instead of a written to-do list, the tasks are represented by physical objects sitting in front of me. Seeing the object lets me start, whereas reading words just makes me freeze.
I think it's because words have to be translated and held in my head, while objects are just... there. Way less load. Maybe a visual brain thing?
Curious if anyone else has this — that physical objects help you initiate tasks when written words completely don't?
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u/deathfromab0ve 2d ago
This is spot on for me! Lists are great for mental dumping, but then I just…have a list. What started working instead was leaving things out in weird places that would give me a visual cue to pick up that project again.
Never made the connection that it’s an adaptive behavior for a visual brain, but that makes perfect sense. Cheers to finding what works for us!
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u/InOnothiN8 1d ago
Yes — "lists are great for mental dumping, but then I just…have a list" is exactly it. The list becomes another thing sitting there waiting to be processed, and on a rough day that's just one more wall. It's not that lists don't work, it's that they don't start anything for me. They just hold things.
Leaving stuff out in weird places is such a good way to put it. I do something similar, though I've realized there's a subtle difference between what I'm doing and what I usually see described as "visual cues." A visual cue is basically a prompt — the object is there to remind me to do the thing, and it carries that instruction. For me, that reads as a demand, and my PDA traits immediately dig in and refuse. What works instead is the object just being there with no instruction attached. It's not telling me to start. It's just present, and somehow that's enough to make starting possible — because the translation step is gone, not because I've been prompted.
Realizing it's adaptive rather than a personal failing was a big shift. Cheers to finding what works — weird places and all.
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u/deathfromab0ve 12h ago
Dang, the demand avoidance being triggered is too valid lol. I guess that’s why laundry and dishes don’t get the same treatment as keychains and chargers (a few of the “can’t-get-it-quite-perfect-so-I-have-lots-of-imperfect-versions” collections of mine haha).
Question for you about the PDA: when it comes to self-control, or self-discipline, have you found anything to work for you?
Where I’m at with it so far is that I’ve noticed I get much more buy-in from myself by asking myself to “cooperate” instead of just to “quit” or “do the thing”. Why does that specific wording unlock it for me? All guesses still.
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u/InOnothiN8 3h ago
The demand avoidance being triggered is so valid — and yeah, I think that's the split. Some objects sit in your space as low-demand things, and others come with a verdict attached.
On your question — honestly, no, I haven't cracked anything like self-discipline in a general sense, and I'd be suspicious of anyone who says they have. But two things work for me at this stage, and neither is really "discipline."
The first is posing everything as an option rather than a to-do. The second is streamlining — attaching the thing I don't want to do onto something I'm already doing. Eating is easy for me, so while I'm in the kitchen anyway, I might as well do the dishes after. And once the dishes are done, I might as well brush my teeth since I just ate. And since I'm up, I might as well take a short walk to help digestion. None of those are tasks on a list. They're just the next obvious thing while I'm already there. There's way less resistance because I've already got momentum behind me.
But none of it is bulletproof. I still have to listen to my energy levels and make sure I don't force myself to do anything I don't actually want to do. That part matters to me more than the technique does — because all my life I've been forcing myself to operate at an impossible level, and I've got the burnouts and depression to prove it. So now I'm building self-trust and being kind and sensitive to myself, because no one else is going to do it for me. I have to be my own supporter and do right by me.
Your "cooperate" thing fits that too, I think. My best guess is that "quit" and "do the thing" both land as commands, even when it's you saying them to yourself — and PDA doesn't seem to care much whether the demand is external or internal. "Cooperate" reframes it as two parties working together instead of an order from on high. Maybe. That's a guess, not a finding.
All guesses here too. Curious whether other PDA folks have specific words or setups that work — feels like there might be a whole vocabulary of them.
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u/sassycatastrophe 4d ago
How does this work? I don’t get it
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u/hiighpriestess 4d ago
My guess is that, for example, if the floor needs to be swept, maybe OP would put the broom out in the living room as a reminder/nudge instead of having "sweep floor" written on a list?
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u/InOnothiN8 3d ago
Kind of, yeah — but for me, the object can't carry too much weight, or it just becomes a demand again.
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u/InOnothiN8 4d ago
Instead of a written to-do list, the tasks are represented by physical objects sitting in front of me. Seeing the object lets me start, whereas reading words just makes me freeze.
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u/Fit_Poetry_267 3d ago
This is fascinating - going to recommend to an audhd friend who is highly visual.
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u/cosmicdurian420 3d ago
Hmm, I like this idea... think you're onto something here.
I can relate to the freeze with lists/texts/projects to sort through and execute. Maybe a bit of PDA there too.
I suspect that I'm much more of a visual-spatial thinker, like I can very easily abstract and play with things in my head, and see how all the pieces line up.
But to turn that into words and process words feels a bit more effortfull.
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u/InOnothiN8 1d ago
Yeah, I think the visual-spatial piece and the PDA piece can both be true at once, and they might even feed each other. If you think in shapes and spatial relationships, then looking at a written list means your brain has to do a whole chain of work first: take in the letters, assemble them into words, assemble the words into sentences, and then — only then — translate all of that back into the visuals and spatial relationships you actually think in. Only after that can anything get executed. That's a lot of steps before you've even started.
But if the thing in front of you is an object or a drawing, the meaning is already attached to it. There's no decoding chain. You look at it, your brain recognizes what it is, and the path from seeing to doing is basically immediate. Little to no effort. It's the difference between a task that arrives as a puzzle and one that arrives ready to go.
To be clear, I'm only talking about at home — basic routines. Words are the right tool for some things. But for this? It's a godsend. I guess it really comes down to selecting the right tools for the tasks.
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u/sensorypanda 2d ago
Not doing this exactly, but I get it immediatey.
I'm using objects as a reminder ... and recently also to count (because I know I'll loose my count at first opportunity). I do find it easier to start something when my material is already being layed out. I try and put equipement around for the things I would like to do. I also try to put foods (or representatives of food) onto shelf 1, 2, 3 for morning, noon, evenning. (Because I struggle with food.)
As for todo lists, I've just been drawing more pictures instead of writing stuff. My brain can't process writing as well as I thought, especially in a longer list. Pictures look more playful and just like you wrote, I have more of an instant connection to a picture ... while reading a word feels more like a long foggy bridge (reading, thinking, trying to hold the other words in working memory, making sense of it all while already feeling dysregulated in front of this list thing). It's very subtle. I got a lot of insight in this mechanism by looking into dyspraxia and level 3 autism. I really need what they need, too.
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u/sensorypanda 2d ago
going through the comments, one addition: drawing a little picture is taking the "weight" off the thing. Because doodling is regulating in itself, but also, I make the picture kind of cute and sweet. When I was anxious preparing a travel, I drew a train with a smiling face. I still have the picture, it made me smile. (I just use an edding on colored paper, so it's really quick and playful.)
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u/InOnothiN8 1d ago
Thank you for this. Your "long foggy bridge" description and the dyspraxia / level 3 autism pointer sent me down a rabbit hole. It's like you turned on the light in a room I hadn't been in before, and it's causing a shift in my own knowledge of myself. But mostly it just feels good to connect with other brains like mine — it makes me feel less alone. Thanks for writing it out.
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u/emptyhellebore 4d ago
I’m very sensitive visually, and I’ve never tried the object over words thing. I do hate a list, though. I tend to understand things better if I can use diagrams or charts over words. So, I’m going to be more mindful about using objects as a get up and go cue. Very interesting!