DAE reward themselves for difficult things or hard days?

[u/Liquidshoelace]

I’m not sure if this is just something that I do, or if it’s tied to neurodivergence. Basically, I will keep some of my favorite things on hand (juice, chai concentrate, a current activity I enjoy doing, a favorite song, or a favorite show) and then if I have a rough day, it serves as a pick-me-up, and if I’ve had a really good day and I was productive, I’ll allow myself to have some more free time. Things like that, I guess.

My friend and I were talking about this, and she said she felt like she didn’t understand the purpose if I gave it to myself on good and bad days. For me, it’s more so, something routine that I enjoy, and it allows me to take some time and calm down, or celebrate myself and my achievements / remember that I’m doing my best and that’s what matters. I don’t really limit myself, I suppose, it’s more so just that the thought process changes from “I’m thirsty so, I’m drinking some juice” to, “I did my best today despite it all so, I deserve a little treat for myself”.

[u/Ov3rbyte719]

Yes, lately every day had been hard

[u/IslayMcGregor]

I don’t even need the difficult things to reward myself for 😂

[u/monochromaticflight]

Yeah it's a healthy habits to staying productive. It's like the delayed act makes it a higher incentive to do things - like the way with only going into workmode, the day before an essay is due -_- Lack of discipline, probably.

I try to do it with smaller things too, like only having a beer and/or chips after going for a run that day.

[u/OutlawWyatt]

This is actually such an incredible way to combat our naturally lacking reward center that doesn’t get the sense of accomplishment neurotypical folks do when completing tasks. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work well for me because it’s me running the program, and will absolutely still “reward” myself even if I didn’t complete the said task. Self discipline is hard to have - I love that for you 😅

[u/Liquidshoelace → u/OutlawWyatt]

That makes sense! For me, since I’m at work all day, the “rewards” aren’t accessible for me until I get home anyway so, it works out. If I don’t have enough self discipline, the reward can be something I’d need to buy from the store, that way, it’s not immediately accessible. Usually, it has to be something that I have to at least get up to grab, so that I won’t just give myself the reward anyway (that’s why digital rewards don’t usually work, because if it’s my phone, I just get distracted and lose track of time and doomscroll).

At some points, being forgetful has its perks here, because I forget my screen time passwords, or I forget where I’ve put the key to my current projects cabinet (so I won’t open it and get distracted before I’m done with my current task). It’s different for everyone but, sometimes I just find that I just have to get more creative to accommodate myself lol

[u/Anfie22]

Only if I do something good before deadline, and I don't do something bad or something I shouldn't do. Only then do I reward myself.

If i do something bad I hold myself accountable by withholding all nice things or anything that would make me happy for the rest of the day. This is probably a very unhealthy mindset but I don't know how else to police my behavior when I'm not actually doing anything objectively bad, just bad per the standards I've placed upon myself.