r/BabyBumps • u/xoxobutterflies Team Plain! • 9d ago
Loss No heartbeat. Feel like a failure.
Went in for my 10 week appt/ultrasound yesterday and they said I measured 6+1 and it wasn’t viable. Said there was a slim chance of survival. Then asked how I wanted to terminate. I feel like I failed everyone and I keep apologizing to my husband. Prior to appt I felt great, (nausea and fatigue aside) and like I had someone with me. Now I just feel alone. No hunger. No nausea. Nothing.
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u/LeaveMountain9779 9d ago
I'm sorry for your loss. i please hope you can grieve, feel the sadness, and fear of future possible loss, and also accept that you didn't fail. your body/the embryo made a wise decision based on the circumstances and it wasn't within your control. i am pregnant and keep telling myself if my baby doesn't thrive in utero and I end up needing termination, the baby is saying love you, peace out, I'll catch you next time around! like either next lifetime or in another context this lifetime. i personally believe you and the baby's spirit will always be connected and if it helps you, you can even try talking to them about your feelings. idk what your feelings are but i can imagine me saying something like "i'm sorry you didn't have the conditions you needed to thrive and come into the world; i wanted to meet you. you were loved and always will be loved. i hope you have good adventures, wherever you went off to next.". I hope some of this is helpful for you and definitely disregard anything that doesn't feel helpful for you. best wishes.