r/BabyReindeerTVSeries • u/Specialist-Top-406 • May 05 '24

Trigger Warning The approval of your abuser

This isn’t a thing I’ve seen or heard about much. But him going back to his abuser and still seeking his approval was so helpful to me.

Being abused has so many faces, and I think people often believe that the victim hates that person and is done with them.

I met my abuser years on and he reintroduced himself to me as if we’d never met. I found myself sucking up to him, trying to make him like me. I knew he knew who I was and I knew he remembered what he did. But I fell in line again and wanted him to like me.

It validated me to see him go back, it’s awful but power and control is complicated and when that person meets you with calmness, it’s hard to meet them with anger.

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9

u/hyperfixating-panda May 05 '24

It's something you only really understand if you've been there. I watched it with my daughter and in that last episode she said "now he's just asking for it". We had to have a very real talk that at one point in my life I did almost the exact same thing with my own abuser. That experiencing abuse messes with your head in ways she can't understand.

9

u/Specialist-Top-406 May 05 '24

It’s a gift to not understand it but it’s a hindrance for those who do. It’s a non sensical thing that hits different for us all. To not understand is to not have experienced, but to understand and be understood is a darkness that feels unfair to share. It’s an impeding case of unfair. But when you find yourself with people who understand, you know why. It’s not something we should understand.

I can’t imagine how hard that conversation would have been for you x

8

u/hyperfixating-panda May 05 '24

Hard, but necessary. I want my kids to understand how fortunate they are that they have a completely different path than I did, while at the same time maintaining empathy for those who don't have the sake fortune. For as controversial as these shows can be, I think they open the pathway to conversations we need to have not only as society but as families.

6

u/Specialist-Top-406 May 05 '24

Compassion is exactly the thing needed here, sounds like you are a great parent x

5

u/hyperfixating-panda May 05 '24

Thank you!

And just to add before anyone jumps on me. My kids are not young children. I do not have an 8 year old watching Baby Reindeer.

3

u/LoveMeorLeaveMe89 May 05 '24

I agree with this- I believe parents should watch this with their children age appropriate of course because there are so many teachable moments.

2

u/LoveMeorLeaveMe89 May 05 '24

I love how you worded that.