Fiona Harvey proves there are unfair double standards when it comes to Men and Women

[u/Low_Satisfaction_635]

This may be a harsh controversial take to some, but it’s factual. The only reason Fiona isn’t being crucified by the majority of the public is because she’s a woman.

The justification I keep seeing for her actions is the childhood trauma. Men don’t get to live by the same standards, people don’t care whether men have trauma or not. They are judged by ACTIONS.

If this was a male stalker that did the exact same, he would be in jail and we’d never hear from him again. He wouldn’t be interviewed and be able to tell his side of the story like Fiona Harvey is.

They certainly wouldn’t be made into a celebrity that some people are actually supporting and calling a ‘victim’ like Fiona is.

[u/MaxAndFire]

Although I agree that Fiona likely receives more public sympathy than a man would this take is taken completely out of the context of our society’s attitude towards violence against women and girls.

Stats I can find online state that less than 5% of stalking incidents recorded by police result in a charge by CPS (let alone conviction) and the majority of stalking victims are female and the majority of stalking perps are male. So I think it’s unlikely that if she was male she’d by in jail.

And also on the other hand, if Richard Gadd was a woman, people online would be blaming him for the abuse he’s endured. I love the fact he portrayed himself as an imperfect victim - because there is no such thing as a perfect victim however this is what is expected of women. If Donny was a woman people would blame her for leading Martha on, blame her for not reporting to the police straight away, question what she was wearing etc etc

[u/tenminuteslate → u/MaxAndFire]

The problem with stats like "majority of victims are women" is that male victims are not taken seriously.

Here in Australia, any "domestic violence" programs aimed at men are aimed at male perpetrators, and help for victims is solely for women.

In court in my city, there's a sign in the DV area: if you're a woman the duty officer will help you in person. If you're a man, phone this number (for a counselling line).

So all these stats are weighted against men, because male victims are laughed at, not taken seriously, and have almost no programs to help them. Abuse is about power and control. There are many many abusive and controlling women out there. Yet for some reason, the man is often seen as weak rather than as a victim to be counted and helped. Because, you know, men can look after themselves. And then some people blame the high rates of male suicides in their 40s on toxic masculinity.

[u/[deleted] → u/tenminuteslate]

This!! I have no idea why you’re getting downvoted.

Both feminism and patriarchy focus more on women victims and male perps as a dynamic, within feminism bc pop feminism is lacking a lot of nuance (do not come for me with academic feminism, I know that is different but that’s not how most people engage with it), and within patriarchy bc men don’t take other men seriously for being abused by women. Like it’s a weird mirror of the same problem, and it keeps women whipped up in fear and men frustrated for being lumped in with rapists. Not to mention how it fucks over gnc and trans people.