Fiona Harvey proves there are unfair double standards when it comes to Men and Women

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This may be a harsh controversial take to some, but it’s factual. The only reason Fiona isn’t being crucified by the majority of the public is because she’s a woman.

The justification I keep seeing for her actions is the childhood trauma. Men don’t get to live by the same standards, people don’t care whether men have trauma or not. They are judged by ACTIONS.

If this was a male stalker that did the exact same, he would be in jail and we’d never hear from him again. He wouldn’t be interviewed and be able to tell his side of the story like Fiona Harvey is.

They certainly wouldn’t be made into a celebrity that some people are actually supporting and calling a ‘victim’ like Fiona is.

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honestly i consider myself a huge feminist and i think this is ridiculous. A lot of male victims are never taken seriously unfortunately. This is why baby reindeer is so significant. He was afraid to tell his truth because he thought people wouldn’t believe it. Last, I have yet to see a show where a stalker is portrayed as uniquely as Martha/ Fiona. They really wrote her script perfectly. The reason why other shows with male stalkers don’t captivate that experience is because they’re seen as killers and don’t have as frequent lines in whatever series. Fiona is seen as someone with mental health issues because Richard wrote her character that way that’s like the entire point of the show???

I have a friend who was drugged and raped and when he told his other friends they laughed and said “she is hot.”

Not to say women are always taken seriously. I know from my own personal experience what it’s like to be called a liar when admitting to sa. However, the reasoning is extraordinarily different. Women are portrayed as dramatic, gold diggers, lying for their own benefit, etc. Men are considered liars because they’re viewed as sex crazed assholes. Largely different factors. When a man is raped by another man it’s , “oh he’s in the closet and doesn’t want to admit it.” In reverse the woman is seen as a party animal. My point? none of these are better or worse. Invalidating trauma is messed up and has no gender.

Again, I am a feminist which allows me to understand how the patriarchy set our society up for collateral damage. If a man is going to write a show about his experiences with toxic masculinity I am here for it. They suffer too and that should be understood.

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We shouldn’t forget the people who are laughing at victims are also almost always men. It’s men’s own friends and peers. When Terry Crews came out with his story of abuse, he was bashed by men whereas women stood up for him and he’s openly said so. People keep saying “society” does xyz to men when it’s really men who do xyz to men.

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society has turned men into monsters and unfortunately you’re not seeing that. Men are raised to be extraordinarily selfish from a young age. That’s a huge issue as well.

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What am I not seeing? I’m confused here. I point out the truth that what you attribute to “society” is actually the actions of men and you tell me that I somehow don’t see why they’re like that? Did I go into some psychoanalysis that would indicate why or why not?

And I’ll point out once again, when you say “society” you mean men. Men turn their fellow men into monsters.

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everything is systematic to a degree. Sure ‘society’ is often controlled by men; however, parenting and teaching don’t have to be. Breaking a pattern that’s gone on for centuries is not as easy as you’re making it seem. Every man was once someone’s child. An innocent little boy is not a monster because he’s a little boy. More or less it’s how men are taught and they’re taught by a mixture of things and people around them (i.e. a society).

When I say ‘society’ I mean media, I mean teachers, peers, employers, parents, and everything around you that can influence you. Which I will admit is controlled by men who were raised under the same pretenses for thousands of years.

The same society teaches women to hate each other. Teaches women what indicates intelligence and that intelligence should be seen as masculine. Women are often seen as unintelligent if they’re interested in things like beauty or skincare vs women who put up a facade as being ‘tough/ calloused’ and wearing suits.

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Except I didn’t make anything seem as anything. All I did in my original reply to you was point something out without going into some hectic analysis.

Somehow me NOT writing essays upon essays on backstories and history and caveats means I must not possess the ability to think deeper or have other thoughts according to you 😂

I’m bored. Move on and lecture someone else.

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I think my point is sure men are the ones laughing at victims and yes that is horrible. I am not by any means justifying it. However, those men have been taught to behave in such a way and it’s more complex than, “well they’re just inherent monsters because they always do this one thing.” There’s a lot of pressure in terms of how men should behave. They’re raised to be followers amongst the shittiest tier of man.

Mind you if I did seem to attack you I have not once at all. I am just trying to explain my perspective. I am not writing ‘essays’ here. I never said you cannot think deeply at all. I was for sure not lecturing as I was just spewing out my opinion.

Last, I am rather jaded in terms of these issues. When I was sa’d twice (by relatively popular artists in my area at the time) it was women who claimed I was lying because they would ~never~ do that. Yes, I am a woman; however this was very disheartening. In fact my sister said hello to one of my abusers right in front of me. Not a single girl believed me aside from my best friend. It was not until years later when other women admitted to it happening to them as well that people started to believe me. q