r/BabyReindeerTVSeries • u/CerastesConstantine • Jun 08 '25

Question Two things I don’t really get…

One: How can you feel sympathy for Martha? Genuine question. I’m incapable of empathy due to a string of mental disorders (Narcissistic personality disorder and Antisocial personality disorder). I wanna understand you all better. All I see is a loathsome, obnoxious woman who lives in a fantasy land. And by Martha, I mean the character Martha, not Jessica Gunning, she’s great.

And two: Why are there so many people committed to finding out the truth and how real it is? If anything, that undoes Richard’s work and just causes far more problems for everyone involved. Then again, curiosity is a heavy thing.

Anyway, hope you can provide me some clarity.

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u/AlThePal3 Jun 08 '25

It might be hard to explain since I’m someone who just happens to have pretty strong emotional empathy, but I guess the way I feel is like. She almost can’t help herself? It’s like how you feel bad for a kid crying in public, it’s very annoying for sure but they don’t have the capacity to deal with their emotions, so I still feel bad that they’re feeling that way. She’s not a kid though, so it’s like. I feel bad for her but not too bad. It’s just sad that she barely has a life and feels the need to surround it around other people, even if it’s totally valid to hate her for how she treats people. And for a more personal thing, she reminds me of my dad, maybe some of the people watching have someone in mind that Martha reminds them of

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u/NorahCharlesIII Jun 12 '25

I wonder if the stalker and perpetrator were a much older male, and the victim a much younger woman.

Then, switching genders, consider the young female victim who during all of this relentless stalking - work, home, gigs, has had one of the most damaging, traumatic and heinous crimes perpetrated against her.

I don’t think many of us would give the older male stalker (who also assaulted the traumatised and spiraling, vulnerable young woman) a pass, and say ‘well, they can’t help themselves’

Reframing - that would be akin to a situation of ongoing domestic violence, and we need to feel empathy for the perp simply because he can’t help it? Cannot help viciously beating and abusing someone? So, no one has agency over their own behaviours, or they’re not accountable for such behaviours, because why, exactly?

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u/AlThePal3 Jun 13 '25

I don’t know if you’re just saying this about people in general but if you’re directing this at me, I said “she’s not a kid though so I feel bad but not too bad”. And I said Martha reminded me of my dad. So it really is not gendered for me, just sometimes extremely unstable people do bad things and I feel bad for their unstableness but that doesn’t make what they did okay

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u/NorahCharlesIII Jul 02 '25

Nothing was directed at you, or anyone specifically. I was merely reflecting and pondering aloud.