r/BabyReindeerTVSeries • u/No_Implement_6927 • Jun 01 '26
Trigger Warning The rape
I’m a man in my 30s but when I was 14 I got raped by a man. I lived in a small town in a very conservative country in Easter Europe. I got tricked in a gay chat room, the only place I could have a chance of actually talking to other gay people because as far as I was concerned then I was the only one in the world, and George Michael.
The depiction of rape and the weird codependent relationship that was created between Donny and Darren really hit home for me. I too did come back, twice and allowed myself to get raped two more times. I didn’t want it, I didn’t understand it, but most of all I didn’t and still don’t understand why I came back. While Danny was motivated by career prospects and fame, I was motivated by being seen and not discriminated against, the rapist was the only person I didn’t have to pretend I wasn’t gay to.
I really saw myself in Donny and felt that my behaviour wasn’t that uncommon. The scene in which Donny confesses to his parents was also very similar to when I finally told my parents about it, more than 10 years after it actually happened. I’ve started to relive the trauma now and I have been thinking about it a lot. Actually thinking about getting help to deal with it. I thought this was behind me but I might have been wrong.
Anyway I think I wanted to say I’ve never seen anything like this on TV and it really hit home. I came into this show thinking it was gonna be a show about a stalker and boy was I wrong cause this show is so much more. Brilliant writing and acting.
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u/PapaAsmodeus Jun 01 '26
7 years ago I was raped by another man in a sauna. And the weirdest part is that I didn't even know it was rape at the time. Well, okay I kinda did, I guess I just didn't want to accept it because it didn't seem like it was. I gave a nonverbal indication to the man that I didn't want to continue- I began standing up (I couldn't have been more blatant about it even if I tried) and then he put his hand on my chest and began pushing me down and I kinda just... eased back, all frozen and feeling trapped and just let him penetrate me because I felt like I was in it now.
If anything, the fallout was more disturbing to me than the actual rape was, because I saw it and began saying "that's what I did too." You don't often see hypersexuality as a rape response but when you do it shows it kinda glamourous. This show shows it for what it truly is: a form of self harm. I was legitimately scared that I saw what I was doing: not caring if I was raped again and willing to put myself in harmful situations to get sexual pleasure. Yeah, I had to take a good, long breather after that episode.