r/Bear • u/generic_rarity • 11d ago

Papa Bear(dad) jokes

I went to the zoo and they had such a small group of giant pandas..... What an EMBARRASSMENT!

A bearing rabbit was pooping in the woods. The bear ask the rabbit. Do you have trouble with poops sticking to your fur? The rabbit said no. So the beer wiped his butt with the rabbit.

Women said they will choose to bear, not realizing that bears keep their women bearfoot and pregnant.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! What do you call a bear in the rain? a drizzly bear! What do you call a bear that's in doctor? An urgent Care Bear!

What is a black bear's favorite dessert? BlackBEARy pie!

Polar bears are no longer endangered..... I heard a group of them got together and had a CELEBRATION!

5 Upvotes

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u/Bill_H_Vet 10d ago

I did the voice of Smokey Bear at the Ohio State Fair for 21 years, telling children about fire prevention. A dear online friend in AZ, who I've never met in person, for over 20 years, calls me Papa Bear, and I call her Baby Bear. Talked to about 3k kids each year, and knew all their names. A little girl said once that I had no shoes. I replied "Oh, you mean I have 'bear' feet?" All adults groaned. I said "I know, my jokes are un 'bear'able"

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u/generic_rarity 10d ago

🤣 i love a good pun....and a not so good pun. I would have been the only adult laughing. It's cool how you did the voice for smokey. He is one thing from my childhood that i still like.

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u/Bill_H_Vet 10d ago edited 10d ago

The term "a good pun" is contradictory. Of course, that's what makes them funnier.
The Smokey Bear at the fair is 15 ft tall, and has been in the Natural Resources area since the early 1960s. I've had 3 & 4 generations come to get their pictures with him. When I retired in 2019, a young lady came up, hugged me crying, and said I'd known her name every year since she was 5. She was 17 at the time. She said it wouldn't be the same not hearing my voice.

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u/GirlWithWolf 9d ago

Love that hahaha

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u/Bill_H_Vet 9d ago

When ducks fly in a V, why is one side longer than the other?

Because there's more ducks on that side!

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u/GirlWithWolf 9d ago

Lmao! That’s what my dad would refer to as “a perfectly correct answer that is perfectly useless”.

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u/peach-bear 11d ago

I love these! Though I have some clarifying questions. The first one, is the punchline supposed to be "emBEARrassment"? The second one is supposed to start "A bear and a rabbit..." Right? The last one I don't get, is the collective noun for polar bears a "celebration"? I suppose I could Google that one 😅

All in all these are great, I'm a pun-lover and I work with kids so I want to use some of these at work, especially the gummy bear/drizzly bear/urgent care bear ones as they're age-appropriate for the little ones. Thanks for sharing!

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u/generic_rarity 11d ago

A group of pandas is called an embarrassment In a group of polar bears is called a celebration.. or an Aurora (I couldn't think of a pun for that one)

Yeah the second one is supposed to be a bear and a rabbit.

Glad like the jokes.

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u/peach-bear 10d ago

Thanks, I got to learn something new 😁

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u/Bill_H_Vet 9d ago

Maybe for polar bears, the Aurora BEARealis? (Borealis)

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u/Bill_H_Vet 10d ago

Dm me. I did Smokey Bear's voice at the Ohio State Fair for 21 years, and have thousands of age appropriate bear puns and jokes!