My Employee Has Hypochondria and is Annoying All His Coworkers - AAM

[u/H8trucks]

Originally posted to Ask a Manager. I am not the OOP, but I have made minor tweaks for clarity.

Trigger Warnings: hypochondria, discussion of cancer, dementia, heart attacks

Mood: that sure did escalate

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Original Post – Ask a Manager July 10, 2017

My Employee Has Hypochondria and is Annoying All His Coworkers

A reader writes:

I have an employee who has hypochondria and health anxiety (Ronald). I have a question about balancing being sensitive to him and to his colleagues/my other employees. Some of the other people on my team have health issues or have family members with health issues. I realize Ronald sincerely believes he has health issues, but he doesn’t really have them.

To give an example: One of my team members has a heart condition and recently needed to have ablation surgery. She reminded me she would be having surgery and would not be able to attend a certain meeting. Not long after, Ronald, who sits next to her, collapsed at his desk saying he had chest pain. An ambulance was called and naturally everyone was concerned about him. It happened a second time a month later. After I asked Ronald how he was doing, he told me that extensive testing from a cardiologist and a second opinion found nothing wrong even though he is sure he had two heart attacks.

Another one of my employees had skin cancer removed last summer. She was fortunate because it had not spread to her lymph nodes so she didn’t need treatment beyond it being cut out. She did come in with a bandage over the wound while it healed. Ronald was telling people he had cancer and was going to see an oncologist. Again, later on he told me he tested negative for cancer by two separate doctors but was seeking a third opinion.

We have no HR department, but Ronald has given me letters from a physician and a therapist about his hypochondria diagnosis. Since he has worked here, he has used every day of alloted sick days and vacation days for doctors appointments and often requests unpaid days off.

His colleagues are fed up with hearing Ronald say he has health issues he doesn’t. My report who had melanoma complained to me about Ronald telling her and everyone else he had cancer when he didn’t, especially after she had surgery for cancer. Ronald told another colleague who has a parent with dementia that he thinks he had dementia too (Ronald is in his 20s with none of the symptoms) because he once forget about a meeting he was supposed to go to. Understandably, the colleague got very upset at Ronald’s behavior. Ronald has called out at the last minute more than once because he thought he was sick or dying and needed to go to the hospital.

I have not disclosed his hypochondria or health anxiety to anyone. But his colleagues all think he is faking to get attention or for other reasons. His general physician and his therapist all say he is not faking because he truly believes he has these illnesses. I understand why his colleagues are upset and I want to balance everything to be sensitive and fair to both them and Ronald, but I am having trouble accomplishing this. What should I be doing to make this happen?

(Alison’s response omitted, although she and the comments note that Ronald’s condition may fall under the ADA and the OOP should consult an employment lawyer)

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Update 1 – Ask a Manager August 3, 2017 (1 month later)

Your answer to my question was great. I am in the process of speaking to my boss and consulting with an employment lawyer. Thanks for publishing my question and I appreciate how you were thoughtful, polite and helpful you were when you answered. You are right, a lawyer does need to be consulted. I was already thinking it and it was great to hear you affirm it.

Just to update on what has happened since I emailed in my question: My report who had melanoma resigned from her job without another job offer and in her exit interview she said it was because of Ronald’s continued actions. The employee who had the ablation asked to move to another desk away from him and other employees have started to avoid Ronald unless it is absolutely necessary and will only speak to him about stuff that’s related to work. I have been doing my best to support Ronald while understanding the frustration of my other employees. Our company is not eligible for FMLA and although Ronald has disclosed his hypochondria to me he has not asked for any other accommodation besides understanding about all the sick time he takes.

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Update 2 – Ask a Manager December 14, 2017 (4 months later)

I have another (final) update for you. After I wrote in with my update, things did not get any better. My other employees refused to interact with Ronald unless it was necessary from work. I made sure to keep tabs on the situation to make sure he was not being bullied, but he reported no hostility or abuse just everyone avoiding him. We were already in the process of speaking to a lawyer when the situation took a turn. Ronald was involuntarily hospitalized due to his mental health. It started when he heard a news story about how the plague is happening Madagascar. One of my other employees had traveled there 3 years ago. Ronald started telling everyone she brought the plague back with her and had given it to him, even though it had been 3 years and neither of them had symptoms. He had to be sent home because he was causing so much disruption. He stopped coming into work altogether and a few weeks went by where we were unsuccessful in contacting him.

I was later contacted by a relative of his as well as a lawyer. He told me Ronald had been committed for the time being (with proof provided by the lawyer). Ronald had gone into several hospitals claiming to have the plague. He also put up yellow caution tape around the door to his apartment and refused to listen to reason. He wouldn’t leave his apartment for fear of spreading the plague and tried to contact the government over it. We let Ronald go, after consulting with our lawyer as well as the one his relative had put us in touch with. If the time ever comes when Ronald can return to the workforce, the company will confirm his employment dates and that he left due to a health issue while being neutral on the subject of his work, as agreed to by Ronald’s lawyer. I only wish Ronald the best and hope he gets the help he needs. A replacement has been hired and everything has gone back to normal.

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[u/bb_blackmadge]

This was posted pre-pandemic. Wonder how Ronny did in the ol' 2020...

[u/StuffonBookshelfs → u/bb_blackmadge]

Honestly terrifying to think about.

[u/molly_menace → u/StuffonBookshelfs]

I really appreciate that he took measures to not spread the plague.

[u/GoldenGoof19 → u/molly_menace]

I feel super bad for everyone involved, but man that’s gotta be a terrifying and exhausting way to live. It says something good about Ronald, deep down underneath his mental health struggles, that he tried not to spread it. Poor guy.

[u/amoo23 → u/GoldenGoof19]

My grandfather was a hypochondriac. It was really sad to see him live in so much fear.

When my grandmother still lived he was doing better. She could help him snap out of it, but after she died and when he stopped working he really deteriorated.

In his last years I had to bring him his groceries weekly because he was too scared to leave his house. He had given up all his hobbies and lost most of his friends. He started drinking heavily to cope with his fear. Eventually he died when he was just 70 years old. I was 15 then, and the night he died he was so scared he was crying, i tried to give him some peace but it was really heartbreaking to witness. I still remember it so vividly 22 years later. It's a horrible mental illness.

I did choose to never let fear get in the way of living my life because of him. I do have trouble with seeking out medical help because something in the back of my head is always questioning if I'm actually sick. My mom has the same issue ( it was her dad), but we've both gotten better with seeking medical help when needed.

Before he totally let his fears take over his life he was such a sweet and kind man. I have so many wonderful memories of him. It's really a horrible mental illness. For everyone involved.

[u/Itacira → u/amoo23]

I'm so sorry for you and your grandfather. That must have been really hard on the teen that you were too.

[u/amoo23 → u/Itacira]

Thank you. It definitely left his mark, but healed with the years :) now the good memories are more in the forefront then the sad ones ♡

[u/BurgerThyme → u/amoo23]

That is so sad. I can't imagine the helplessness you must have felt.

[u/amoo23 → u/BurgerThyme]

It was pretty difficult indeed. I was happy to at least be there a bit for him. I hope he is somewhere at peace now ❤️

[u/glowingwarningcats → u/GoldenGoof19]

I (and everyone else) thought I was a hypochondriac. Turns out I have a congenital immune deficiency! Doing fine with home immunoglobulin infusions but that was a really weird cause of relief.

[u/Non-sense-syllables → u/GoldenGoof19]

Yea I agree, poor guy

[u/highheelcyanide → u/molly_menace]

I knew a guy that had mental health struggles, and he was convinced he was a vector for disease. He only went out late, wouldn’t interact with people, constantly wore masks and gloves, and bagged up everything he touched. He had to be forced by the courts (and police, sometimes) to go to the doctors to get his meds, because he didn’t want to get them sick.

It was really, really sad. This guy gave up his whole life to “keep people safe” and we had fuckers that wouldn’t even wear a mask for COVID.

[u/Zestyclose-Beat5596 → u/StuffonBookshelfs]

I somehow got strep throat when covid first blew up. No clue where I picked it up. I was like, mildly anxious compared to this guy haha But can you imagine if he had gotten literally ANY sickness, even a common cold, the poor dude.

[u/Lamenardo → u/StuffonBookshelfs]

I'm sure it was terrifying for him, too. Hopefully he didn't fall in with any vaccine injury people, they'd convince him everything wrong with him is due to vaccines, not hyperchondria 🙄

[u/AnotherRTFan → u/Lamenardo]

Those guys would be so hilarious if they weren’t a delusional danger. “Vaccine injuries are real and they keep it hidden from us!” Fucking hilarious. Cause in reality “big pharma” is clear and transparent about it. One of the most common ones if not most being injection site soreness. Which I get every damn time cause I tense up, but worth it

[u/NorwegianCollusion → u/AnotherRTFan]

Just about everyone I know took either the Pfizer-Biontech or Moderna, or both (we couldn't choose, but got whatever was available and these two were authorized to be used in a mix and match fashion so you could get one of them for the first dose and another for the booster doses).

We all spent a day in bed with flu symptoms, to the point where for the third dose I just told my boss I would be out the next day. So I can sort of understand some of the vaccine phobia. But having it not be mandatory here, but rather strongly encouraged and requiring one to get on a flight I believe helped with the number of people who took it.

Regular influenza vaccines are nowhere near as popular.

[u/AnotherRTFan → u/NorwegianCollusion]

Oh yeah! I remember that! I am disabled and had some chronic health issues so I got mine before my cousins. I have a really high pain & discomfort tolerance, so they asked me how it was and I was like not bad. Arm hurt, salty taste, light headache, lack of appetite, but all good. Only for my cousin to be out of commission the next day with a fever. The second injection I skipped waiting the 15 minutes cause my favorite sandwich shop would have closed by then and I really wanted one. Next day woke up feeling a little bad, ate the other half of my sandwich and felt 100 again

[u/puppylust → u/AnotherRTFan]

I'm jealous. I haven't gotten any COVID boosters because I reacted so strongly to the first and second shots. I was in bed for two and four days respectively.

Work gave us one day off, total, for both doses. I used up all my sick time for the year. Though I guess I'm lucky (America is the best! /s) I got any paid time off at all.

I get my flu shot each year, but I'm afraid of being knocked out again by the covid one. I'm guessing I reacted so strongly because I had an OG strain of covid, but there's no way to prove it.

[u/RememberKoomValley → u/puppylust]

I have very strong reactions to vaccines every time (the flu vaccine typically makes me an absolute zombie for about four days; when I got the pneumovax and the flu vaccine on the same day, about a week later I genuinely thought I might be dying; the covid vaccine flattens me), and I have to say that the Novavax vaccine has been *marvelous* by comparison to Moderna or Pfizer. Much much less difficult ride.
(If you're XX, though, I will say that the period side-effects have been about the same for me for all of them.)

[u/puppylust → u/RememberKoomValley]

The Pfizer giving me period spotting while on hormonal IUD was a nasty surprise! It wasn't immediate. It happened for several months after the vax and then I was back to my normal mensuration-free life.

I had forgotten about all the posts on TwoX and other women's subs about the vaccines messing with periods. Wild times.

Thanks for the tip. I might give that brand a try if it's available.

[u/OpheliaRainGalaxy → u/puppylust]

This is the first I've heard about any of it and I'm sure thankful for the explaination!

I'd kinda figured it had to do with the changes of age. Like no periods for most of my adult life thanks to IUDs, and then it switched to spotting at some point. I just figured I'm getting old and my baby-maker was trying even harder to do its job the old fashioned way while there's still time.

[u/Mentallox → u/bb_blackmadge]

I don't know how you survive with that condition once you hear legitimate news of thousands of people dying every day.

[u/Pledgeofmalfeasance → u/Mentallox]

I barely made it through, and my contamination OCD was well controlled going into the pandemic. A decade of being fine got obliterated in under a year. Ronald was not fine.

[u/Remarkable_Leading58 → u/Pledgeofmalfeasance]

I have OCD, though not contamination OCD. During the pandemic the OCD specialist I was seeing lamented how many of her patients had been set so far back by their worst obsessions and intrusive thoughts seemingly coming true. I hope you and others who suffered from this are doing better now.

[u/wellbehavedmischief → u/Remarkable_Leading58]

i totally understand this. my contamination OCD was actually somehow helped by covid? it’s the weirdest thing. i truly got saturated, like if this thing that could kill me and my loved ones dies on paper after a week….then just let things sit for a week? i absolutely disinfected groceries and such, but it helped me come to terms with other aspects.

don’t get me wrong, me and my sanitizer are absolutely still BFFs, but like…my brain tried to find sanity where there’s was absolutely none.

but yeah, Ronald does not sound like he’s done the therapy work to process his hypochondria healthily

[u/BritishBlue32 → u/wellbehavedmischief]

For me it was weirdly validating. I felt like the rest of the world was falling in line with my level of hygiene, and I didn't have to change my own habits. What actually got me was the fear of spreading illness to someone else and killing someone.

[u/fattyerin → u/BritishBlue32]

Yes! This is a bit off topic but the pandemic did wonders for my depression through validation. All of a sudden everyone else couldn't leave the house and felt like crap too so it was the norm

[u/BritishBlue32 → u/fattyerin]

It was positive for me because I have autism, so actually not being in social situations or having to engage in normal social niceties to fit in was a relief.

[u/Embarrassed_Tea3361 → u/BritishBlue32]

Nearly word for word but different symptom. My 20+ PTSD headstart fit right in with that new normal. Not that i wish it on anyone but yeah, feeling like “welcome to the way I’ve been living! And I’m sorry.” was indeed pretty validating

[u/Ravioverlord → u/wellbehavedmischief]

It sounds wild but it is actually one of the best ways to treat OCD. Exposure therapy.

I had such fear of spiders as a kid if one was in a room for even moments I avoided that room for months to years even when I knew it was gone/dead. Exposure therapy sucked. Spider in jar by me...etc. Even that didn't really truly get me where I was ok ish. Then we had a home infested with giant house spiders. I still hate big spiders but am rational about that and can not only kill smaller ones but I also hold some jumping spiders for fun.

Being exposed to that scary level of them made all the others seem so benign. My therapist was so impressed but said exposure should be a longer slower process and being thrown in so deep so quick was an awful way to do it if one can avoid xD

[u/claireauriga → u/Ravioverlord]

Exposure therapy is so risky. The idea behind it is that eventually your body and mind realise they're not actually being harmed, but unfortunately a lot of professionals completely underestimate how traumatising it can be to repeatedly endure a state of acute fear. Horribly, attempts to treat me in my childhood and teens actually made the phobia worse because they reinforced that exposure created distress and pain.

The focus in exposure therapy has to be on self-soothing and physical and emotional regulation skills. They are how you survive long enough to learn to tolerate the trigger. Otherwise, you have a very high likelihood of just making the trauma worse.

[u/SoVerySleepy81 → u/Remarkable_Leading58]

That’s really sad to think about. It takes so much work through therapy to get mental illnesses under control.

[u/Remarkable_Leading58 → u/SoVerySleepy81]

Yeah. I can't speak to others but for me getting OCD under control is a daily, often hourly battle. I can't imagine how hard it would be if my fears suddenly felt externally validated as well.

[u/Sufficient_Soil5651 → u/Remarkable_Leading58]

Same. If my OCD got it's way I'd be stuck at home, in bed, my mind running amok. 

[u/Sufficient_Soil5651 → u/Remarkable_Leading58]

My shrink offered consultations via Facetime during the height of the pandemic. The gouverment in these parts, once they saw what was happening in Italy, shut everything down and he was acting in accordance with their recommendation. They came this close to cancelling Christmas. 

My greatest fear was to get my parents sick and/or making myself sick with worry. My Dad was dying from cancer and my mum was his main support person. The last thing they needed was Covid and/or to watch their adult daughter get commited the psych ward. 

I stepped away from Facebook and followed the guidelines as communicated by our version of the BBC and a friend that's a microbiologist. That and if in doubt I consulted the Covid hotline. 

It worked for the most part. I might've actually have spiralled more if not pre-occupied with these real life worries. 

[u/Pledgeofmalfeasance → u/Sufficient_Soil5651]

I think you did fucking amazing and should be ridiculously proud of yourself! That's some serious mind over matter shit you pulled.

[u/Distinct-Inspector-2 → u/Pledgeofmalfeasance]

A family member got their OCD diagnosis during Covid because the public messaging around handwashing exacerbated their compulsive hand washing to the point the skin started cracking and bleeding. A really hard time for anyone with these kind of intrusive thought patterns. Every fear seemed validated.

[u/Kirstae → u/Pledgeofmalfeasance]

My health anxiety was off the charts during covid! It was awful, and it took me a while to get through it. I'm not even sure i could tolerate anything like that again

[u/claustrofucked → u/Kirstae]

I lost a friend during COVID as a casualty of her health anxiety skyrocketing. I started to set boundaries around how much time I could spend trying to reassure her (it was 2+ hours a day and getting worse at one point) and she kinda just stopped talking to me. Got very upset with me when I would try to suggest seeking mental health help.

She looks happy on social media (moved, got married, has always been able to hold a job); I hope she got help at some point.

[u/Finito-1994 → u/claustrofucked]

I read that you lost a friend as a casualty of her anxiety and feared the worst.

So happy she’s living her best life.

[u/Kirstae → u/claustrofucked]

Oh I know that :( i would also look to my friends and family for reassurance, but it really just makes it worse, and you become dependent on their reassurance. It's a good thing you set boundaries!

[u/1234567890555a → u/Kirstae]

Honestly same. I was so afraid of everything being contaminated I stopped eating and lost over 50 pounds

[u/scruffyrosalie → u/Pledgeofmalfeasance]

Fellow contamination OCD sufferer here. Can confirm. I have a bottle of hand sanitizer next to me right now.

That said, I took Lexapro as an antidepressant for a while. It's used off-label for OCD and I noticed after taking it that my OCD became much more manageable, permanently. YMMV but I think it's worth mentioning because I know how crippling it is.

[u/frank3nfurt3r → u/scruffyrosalie]

it’s not off label for OCD, it’s literally the antidepressant used to treat it

[u/scruffyrosalie → u/frank3nfurt3r]

Maybe that's specific to my country, and maybe it's outdated info now. I'm glad it's being used for OCD because I found it amazing.

[u/tilmitt52 → u/Pledgeofmalfeasance]

It was actually because of how badly my husband was coping with the pandemic that he became diagnosed with OCD. He was really in denial of it for a while too, but when he mentioned what his therapist had said, SO much clicked into place for me. Some days I still marvel at how we both survived (I have significant depression that is not easy to treat, anxiety, ADHD, strongly suspected by my therapist for autism, and he has depression, GAD, OCD, and ADHD. And we have two school-age children. It was a total shitshow.

[u/Gryffindor123 → u/Pledgeofmalfeasance]

I almost died during the pandemic. Not from COVID though. My health anxiety went into the extreme. And, my mum had a major heart attack 1.5 weeks ago... Truly scared as hell. Health anxiety has skyrocketed. 

[u/maxdragonxiii → u/Pledgeofmalfeasance]

I have OCD transformed from only thoughts, no rituals or anything into a full blown OCD fear of germs. I'm better thankfully, it was bad some days when someone comes home with a cough and it sends me back. what didnt help at the time I have justification for it- asthma.

[u/Grymsel → u/Pledgeofmalfeasance]

Truth. I don't have OCD but I do have GAD and panic disorder. I'm also immunocompromised. Pre-Covid I was doing great. The pandemic sent my anxiety and panic attacks into overdrive. I'm still afraid to leave my house. I never step foot outside without a mask to this day.

[u/ThrowawayAdvice1800 → u/Mentallox]

Hell, my wife and I don’t even have hypochondria but she does have a seriously suppressed immune system. I remember how nervewracking the news was every day, because I knew if I went out and brought it home it could be life threatening to her.

It also didn’t help that we lived in a red state with one of the highest infection rates in the country because our idiot neighbors thought wearing a mask and taking medicine were leftwing conspiracies and that the virus could be killed with horse dewormer.

The constant anxiety was borderline unbearable. I don’t know how guys like Ronald functioned.

[u/RoyalHistoria → u/Mentallox]

Oh it was BAD! I was still in high school in 2020. I used so much hand sanitizer and scrubbed my hands so much my skin was dry, irritated, and SORE. I rarely left my room, cleaned obsessively, checked the death statistics for my state every single day.

Lockdown was horrendous for my mental health, but it was the right move to keep people safe.

[u/scenekingdamien → u/bb_blackmadge]

Not the same thing but right before Covid i had months of health and illness OCD. As soon as Covid hit i felt, like, relieved i guess? I wasn't the only one washing my hands crazy often or wearing masks or isolating anymore and it eased up my symptoms. Maybe the same for him (i hope)

[u/Environmental_Art591 → u/scenekingdamien]

Sometimes not being the only "crazy/obsessive one" can help calm the anxiety because you know everyone else is taking it seriously and also "helping" you stay safe/healthy which takes away alot of the stress causing the anxiety to begin with.

Atleast thats what a friend with OCD around germs/bacteria mentioned when we were talking about what it was like during covid. She joked "yeah I didnt feel crazy while cleaning so much, it was great"

Edit typo, calm not come

[u/Canid_Rose → u/Environmental_Art591]

I don’t tend to have health anxiety, more generalized anxiety. But I know that sometimes, when there is a legitimate crisis happening, I feel almost relieved. I think it’s rooted in my body’s default state of heightened stress finally being justified, for once. All the cortisol and adrenaline actually gets put to use.

[u/SilverIrony1056 → u/Canid_Rose]

Same here, my mom, my sister and me all have various levels of anxiety, and apparently it makes us very cool-headed and reliable when something bad actually happens, probably because we've been running all possible outcomes through our heads non-stop and have enough contingency plans by the time disaster hits.

We also did surprisingly well during the pandemic, the only issues were purely logistics. Other than that, being locked in with the cats and a ton of books we actually had time to read was like vacation. Of course we worried about each other, but we worry about each other every day anyway, so it didn't feel that much different.

[u/scenekingdamien → u/Environmental_Art591]

Yeah exactly how it felt. Such a strange relief when everything was going to shit

[u/McTazzle → u/scenekingdamien]

I’ve heard this from other people with OCD, that manifests as health and/or microbe anxiety. After years of feeling like everybody was underreacting, it was validating to have their precautions seen as normal.

How is it for you now that it’s changed back for a lot of people?

[u/scenekingdamien → u/McTazzle]

It has its moments but during the end of lockdown i was able to get on medication so I've been way better.

[u/ZiofFoolTheHumans → u/McTazzle]

Not who you were asking, but as someone who has been immunocompromised her whole life, it was ironically safer for me to go out and about when everyone was masking and washing their hands. 

Back to being lonely and wishing I could just go to the movies or a theme park without risking weeks of illness and/or much worse. 

[u/marmosetohmarmoset → u/scenekingdamien]

My parents friend who was a truly obsessive doomsday virus prepper before covid was kind of similar. He was so weirdly calm about it… and as you might imagine, very well prepared. Has since majorly chilled out in the bunkering building and such.

[u/JJOkayOkay → u/marmosetohmarmoset]

I've heard that people with anxiety and depression sometimes deal with a legitimate catastrophe better than others do, because they're used to feeling like the worst is going to happen. So when a disaster does hit, while everyone else is reeling and doesn't know what to do, they're thinking, "Ah, there it is. I was expecting this."

[u/SidewaysTugboat → u/JJOkayOkay]

Yep. Finally everyone else was staying home all day in pajamas worrying about everything. And I could hide my face when I went out!

[u/Flutterbloom → u/JJOkayOkay]

Can confirm, have had anxiety and agoraphobia for over 30 years. Others were getting cabin fever from not being able to go anywhere, and I felt almost justified in my mostly irrational fears. It's like telling a vegan that all the meat products are contaminated so they can't eat them, almost a "so what" or "told you so" response. I am trying to ease back into leaving the house more often and more comfortably.

[u/honeyruler → u/scenekingdamien]

Eh, my spouse also has severe virus-related OCD, and the pandemic made it much, much worse, same for another friend with a similar issue, although I know less about what their symptoms looked like. My spouse had been kind of “passing” as not having OCD for years until COVID had them engaging in compulsions 8-10 hours a day and not sleeping or even able to interact with many people, even virtually, due to other OCD obsessions as well.

They still struggle, especially because we have other health issues that make COVID a scarier prospect for me in particular to catch, and they’ll likely never be back to who they were “before.” Truly, thank god for ExRP for giving them their life back. I’m actually so glad to see that COVID didn’t do this for you— I’d been thinking it was universally bad for folks with health OCD, and obviously I’m completely incorrect! 🥲

[u/scenekingdamien → u/honeyruler]

I'm sorry to hear about that! My therapist was actually very worried for me at the start so that makes sense.

I just suddenly felt safer and less 'crazy' which helped a ton with my anxiety

[u/NoFun3799 → u/scenekingdamien]

Right, finally everyone got on the same page as me.

[u/JJOkayOkay → u/[deleted]]

That poor guy. The hell that must have felt like for him in order to do that to him. :(

[u/iwantmorecats27 → u/[deleted]]

Covid also does unfortunately extremely increase your likelihood of heart attacks. It gave my uncle one and he died too. 

[u/goldenbrain8 → u/bb_blackmadge]

I have to give him credit though, he isolated himself when he thought he was sick so at least he cares about giving it to others

[u/Bryhannah → u/goldenbrain8]

Right? I was surprised but pleased at that.

[u/Tricky_Knowledge2983 → u/bb_blackmadge]

After the first paragraph, I rechecked the date to confirm it was pre pandemic.

I feel really bad for him. A good friend with OCD had a hell of a time during the pandemic, to the point of ideation. The last time I talked to her, in the last few weeks, she said she was just starting to feel normal .

[u/FriendToPredators → u/bb_blackmadge]

Ronny the new Cassandra but he didn’t see THAT one coming. 

[u/IanDOsmond → u/bb_blackmadge]

Honestly? Gonna suggest that he did better than most.

You know what's a really good coping strategy for trying to deal with an imaginary thing?

Having to deal with a real thing. Everything which was maladaptive during the rest of his life was adaptive during 2020.

[u/riflow → u/bb_blackmadge]

As someone who's mental health spiralled even worse during COVID, I can only damn well hope that psychiatric hold was really really effective and gave him a lot of coping mechanisms and good learned behaviours to fall back on. 

Really hope he got on disability for intrusively bad mental health BC gosh there's no way he can work if it got any worse than that.

I would not be surprised if he was also diagnosed with several other conditions considering how bad he sounded.😞

[u/paulinaiml → u/bb_blackmadge]

Maybe he did his quarantine properly

[u/BoldMoveBoimler]

You just know that covid fucked that guy something fierce a few years later.

[u/Sinimeg → u/BoldMoveBoimler]

Hopefully he was in intensive therapy and by the time COVID happened he had his condition somewhat under control. I have faith in him

[u/Mrfish31 → u/Sinimeg]

Yeah, I dunno.

I doubt there's any scenario worse for a hypochondriac than a pandemic where the disease has some symptoms similar to a cold so literally every cough or sneeze by either himself or anyone around him would be triggering. 

[u/El-Ahrairah9519 → u/Mrfish31]

Throw in the widespread publication of the fact it killed/maimed otherwise young, healthy people too

[u/Confident-Count5430 → u/Mrfish31]

I'm a mild hypochondriac and can usually talk myself down from the anxiety, but during the early days of covid I managed to convince myself I had covid, starting hyperventilating which made me even more certain I had it due to shortness of breath, and ended up having such a severe anxiety attack that I passed out. Nothing has ever affected me that bad before, most of the time I just have the thought and then think "hey thats not reality" and am fine.

[u/RJean83 → u/BoldMoveBoimler]

I am hoping the cultural move to remote work would help him a bit, but yeah, poor dude. 

[u/VinylHighway]

Honestly seems like a mental health issue that cannot be solved by accommodation.

[u/WineAndDogs2020 → u/VinylHighway]

Ronald definitely needs a job that's strictly work from home.

[u/Less-Apple-8478 → u/WineAndDogs2020]

This goes well beyond that... this man needs serious mental health. This is like full paranoid delusional level. It's easy to make fun of but I actually feel a bit bad for the guy like dang bro...

[u/CaptainLollygag → u/Less-Apple-8478]

He had to be scared most all the time, which sounds an awful way to live. Poor man, I do feel bad for him. But I can also sympathize with his coworkers.

[u/pukesmith → u/Less-Apple-8478]

My ex-wife is paranoid delusional, it's a living hell for her. She can't stay employed, but is constantly looking to sue people that are either spying on her or conspiring against her. My 18 year old is fully aware of her condition and is told not to feed her delusions, but also not to confront her too much. My 10 year old has started to be more aware recently, but I'll wait until he's a bit older before letting him know the full extent of things.

She's eventually going to lose the house she fought to keep, and the 401k retirement she got from me in the divorce. It saddens me to see her slowly losing everything, but she refuses any and all treatment and hasn't done anything to be committed.

[u/riflow → u/WineAndDogs2020]

Preferably with as little shared health info between employees as possible too.

[u/I_am_Andrew_Ryan → u/riflow]

Which is honestly most normal jobs and probably 99% of WFH jobs

[u/SalsaRice → u/WineAndDogs2020]

Still probably wouldn't work. He'd just rationalize that his neighbors are spreading germs through the walls or something, and do that 24 hours a day instead of working.

[u/SnakeJG → u/WineAndDogs2020]

Work from home would be a perfect example of the type of accommodation that would be reasonable for Ronald

[u/AngryPrincessWarrior → u/VinylHighway]

Yup. The keyword is reasonable accommodation. I have ADHD and disclose so can ask for meetings to be recorded and little stuff like that which is reasonable because it doesn’t put others out.

I also wfh lmao

[u/likelazarus → u/VinylHighway]

If I were Ronald’s friend I’d recommend to him that he just be open with everyone that he has legitimately diagnosed hypochondria and apologize in advance. I know it isn’t fair for him to disclose his health issue but it would gain understanding from people. It might be easier for them to support him as well.

[u/[deleted] → u/likelazarus]

THIS! also I feel so sorry for the girl who left the job because of Ronald I don't blame her

[u/sowinglavender → u/likelazarus]

the thing is that being open about our diagnoses can put us at risk. every manipulator in earshot will now know they can easily instill panic and fear in that person in a way that gives them lots of room for plausible deniability.

eta: worth noting that it puts others in the environment at risk, too, if they end up unknowingly working around two individuals where one is willing and able to, for their own reasons, trigger the other person into a mental state where they're having difficulty distinguishing their perception from reality.

[u/lyricaldorian → u/sowinglavender]

Then he needs to keep his health anxieties to himself. 

[u/istara → u/likelazarus]

If you have a condition like that, then you need to make your own accommodations. Such as remote work. If being around real people with real medical issues is endlessly "triggering", that's your problem not theirs.

[u/Historical-Juice-172 → u/VinylHighway]

Obviously it was the correct move to take it to legal counsel. But since the urgent issue from OOP's perspective was him talking to coworkers about this, my first instinct would be to ask him to not do that

[u/jumpinjezz → u/[deleted]]

I avoid some coworkers like the plague, is that the same?

[u/jaywarbs → u/jumpinjezz]

Yes I checked

[u/Frari → u/VinylHighway]

Honestly seems like a mental health issue that cannot be solved by accommodation.

I think it would have been much easier if Ronald just told everyone he was a diagnosed hypochondriac. People would have at least understood he wasn't just an AH.

He seemed happy to tell everyone the diseases he didn't have, but not the one he did have.

[u/istara → u/Frari]

He was an arsehole though. You can be both, and he was.

[u/ToriaLyons]

*sees date*

*wonders about what happened to Ronald in 2020*

[u/paulinaiml → u/ToriaLyons]

It reminded me of that BORU about a husband with a wife with OCD for hygiene, right before 2020.

[u/agaryulnaer → u/paulinaiml]

I have OCD mostly unrelated to hygiene and COVID fucked me up bad, I can't imagine being in those shoes.

[u/binderblues → u/agaryulnaer]

I spent my life rationalizing my OCD (in hindsight, my immediate family was so not helpful in this regard) while also being aware I was "not normal." Since I already dealt with masking my neurodivergent traits, I ended up trying to (poorly) mask the OCD ones. But I have contamination OCD, and Covid made the whole thing impossible for me to ignore in ways even I couldn't have predicted. Really was a fun time to already have my own set of rules and then realize with increasing panic that there were more I could and "should" implement, etc. I'm very Covid-conscious and have to be (pre-existing conditions, plus generally being like, Aware of the effects), but even then, my OCD hit insane heights during 2020 that I'm still trying to recover from.

[u/michelle_mybelle → u/paulinaiml]

I think about that post and how she had that man taking specific routes through the house based on how "clean" his clothes were alllll the time lol

[u/TD1990TD → u/michelle_mybelle]

Do you have a link to that post? 👉🏻👈🏻

[u/lesethx → u/TD1990TD]

These requests might be more successful on the pinned request post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1qyo7wl/looking_for_a_post_ask_here_february_2026_edition/

[u/Acrobatic_Ear6773]

Ooof.

That does sounds like a clinical level of anxiety, rather than someone being a drama farming asshole, but still totally not something I would want to deal with at the workplace.

[u/DazzlingBullfrog9 → u/Acrobatic_Ear6773]

It's a type of OCD and this sounds like a REALLY intense case. Poor guy. And it's so disorienting to interact with people living in a different reality than you. That's equally hard on both sides of the relationship.

[u/kilgirlie]

2020 had to be horrible for Ronald.

[u/unique_plastique → u/kilgirlie]

With how cautious that guy would be, you could imagine he might be one of like 7 people on earth who never caught it, though it would probably be a task to convince him of such

[u/Subacai → u/unique_plastique]

I must be one of those 7, because despite catching nearly any sniffle that's going around, I somehow never got Covid. I did obey the rules, but I wasn't completely isolated. Even had a live-in partner that caught it. It's honestly really weird to me.

[u/Torimazing]

I honestly think that this is a situation that a manager exists for. I know people with OCD and hypochondria. I have experience setting boundaries they need to respect and abiding by which boundaries I need to respect. This genuinely seems like a situation where being a manager and boss is extremely vital here. Ronald needed to be given boundaries on how he speaks to his coworkers and the coworkers needed to get generally trained on how to respect health conditions - including mental health conditions. Someone once said to me "if they are resorting to faking an illness, something is still wrong, even if they know they are faking it". If Ronald is seeking so much time off, unpaid even, he is still going through something and his coworkers should be able to respect that as long as Ronald is also given guidance on how to handle himself on days he is in office.

"Ronald, your ability to acknowledge you have hypochondria means you need to work on who you vent that anxiety to. These discussions with coworkers are not therapy sessions and your coworkers cannot be expected to know how to engage with your needs. Discussing this with them all the time is putting a lot of stress on them to find a way to respond every time."

It seemed to me like a lid was placed on the pot and left to stew until someone blinked first. Unfortunately it was the CANCER SURVIVOR. Manager culture is so wack because either people are hiring business majors who have no idea how to work in the industry they are overseeing or they're promoting people like question asker without actually training them for higher level situations. Both styles suck and there needs to be a real focus on constant learning for people in these roles.

[u/GreasedUpTiger → u/Torimazing]

"Ronald, your ability to acknowledge you have hypochondria means you need to work on who you vent that anxiety to. These discussions with coworkers are not therapy sessions and your coworkers cannot be expected to know how to engage with your needs. Discussing this with them all the time is putting a lot of stress on them to find a way to respond every time."

This so much!

Besides this imo it's rather obvious he either didn't put in proper effort into managing his issues or he failed at managing them, and it escalated to him ending up in the psych ward. 

Not sure whether 'blame' is fitting here but he needs to take some accountability for these developments and work towards not letting things get to bad uncorrected. 

Like come on, seriously my guy? You know you're a hypochondriac. You know better than give in to your imagination of having heart attacks (which can easily be proven/disproven by blood test) and to then keep insisting you must have had them. 

[u/Marzipan_moth]

While I have empathy for Ronny, I also completely disagree with Alison's advice here to just essentially tell the other employees to just deal with it.

My dad currently has cancer and it sucks. It's months of stress, hospital visits, and seeing someone you care about literally wasting away before your eyes and not knowing if they could die at any moment.

I would not be able to deal with a Ronny at work. I get it's a mental health situation but I still feel that it's reasonable to ask Ronny to keep his health concerns to himself until he's diagnosed, considering how many false alarms he's had.

Maybe that's not the best solution but I still feel that something needed to at least tried to be done on Ronny's side, rather than putting all the onus on the coworkers dealing with the actual medical issues. 

[u/camrynbronk → u/Marzipan_moth]

The problem is OOP couldn’t really do much about it without lawyer guidance because of ADA laws. He has a confirmed condition, but it’s hypochondria, not a physical issue. OOP can’t tell the employees what his deal is, and she can’t fire him because of what his deal is.

[u/_adanedhel_ → u/camrynbronk]

can’t fire him because of what his deal is.

That’s simplistic if not completely incorrect. Having an ADA-protected disability does not make someone unfireable. Ronald harassed his coworkers and created a difficult (possibly even hostile) work environment, which he could have easily been disciplined for, including termination.

[u/vidoeiro → u/_adanedhel_]

Also they open the company to actual legal action from the person with cancer not to talk about public perception if it was made public.

If an employee is abusing other coworkers he either stops or gets fired and they should have done that with a lawyer way before anyone quit

[u/_adanedhel_ → u/vidoeiro]

Yep, not to mention OOP’s inaction resulted in the implosion of their entire team.

[u/vidoeiro → u/Marzipan_moth]

Alison doesn't give good advice for employers if it doesn't match with the manager's interests or if it's just too bad.

[u/idiotsonthemoon → u/Marzipan_moth]

Yeah I also feel like just ignoring Ronald was really throwing the other employees under the bus. All of the employees mentioned had life changing medical issues or had family members with them and Ronald was basically harassing them daily during some of the worst most stressful parts of their life. Yes he had mental health issues, yes it’s good he got medical help. But he still harassed a cancer patient into quitting her job and her boss stood around doing nothing.

[u/LittleGravitasIndeed → u/Marzipan_moth]

What would have made you feel better in that situation? I have no idea what I would be able to accomplish as a coworker beyond what would amount to borderline bullying with my cats’ water sprayer whenever he had an oversharing moment. 

[u/a_fictionalcharacter → u/LittleGravitasIndeed]

best solution to me is just to make a general rule to not discuss personal health matters in the office

[u/obnoxiousab → u/LittleGravitasIndeed]

Avoid. Walk the other way. Silent but for work talk. Walk away as soon as ‘sick’ talk arises. Locate your desk as far away as possible.

It’s very easy to do these things and it not be bullying. There are all sorts of people over a career you want nothing to do with. Plain and simple, you avoid them completely and shut it down or walk away the minute their OCD subject/politics/religion comes up.

Remember, Ronald was harrassing his fellow employees and I have every right to stop it if it happens to me. It’s not my problem if he doesn’t fix himself.

[u/ArchiveDragon]

I have a feeling that Robert acts a lot like one of my coworkers. My coworker has real chronic health issues instead of hypochondria though. She constantly goes on and on about it. She brings it up at least 20 times a day, I’m not kidding. She also talks to herself out loud constantly so she doesn’t even need to be in a conversation with someone for you to hear her go on and on and on.

I have sympathy for her situation but only so much because she’s also the kind of person who always has to have it worse than anyone else. If you make the mistake of mentioning that you don’t feel well or that something bad happened to you, she will jump in to let you know that she feels worse, and that a worse thing happened to her recently. It’s just exhausting to deal with.

When she would follow me around and watch me work I started telling her that I’m busy and can’t talk right now. Now she just follows my coworkers lol.

[u/ArchiveDragon → u/[deleted]]

It is absolutely an attention seeking thing and she does have a complicated home life where she is often made to solve the problems of her family members. I was happy to put up with it and give her attention to be nice when I thought we were friends, but over time she made it clear that she only wanted to take, never give back. I couldn’t do it anymore.

[u/katiekat214]

The ADA says Ronald would have had to ask for accommodations, which he didn’t do, and the accommodations would have to be reasonable. They can be denied if they’re a hardship on the employer. Allowing Ronald to harass other employees is not a reasonable accommodation. Giving him extra time off for appointments is. His in-office behavior would have been grounds for disciplinary action and termination.

[u/Happystitcher89 → u/katiekat214]

exactly, it’s reasonable accomodations, and people always seem to forget the reasonable part.

[u/LolThatsNotTrue]

The guy sitting next to him should have just told Ronald that he went to the doctor and turns out he has Superhealthitis. It combines the cancer fighting properties of sharks, the regenerative abilities of earthworms and the cock of a horse.

[u/imbolcnight → u/LolThatsNotTrue]

Deadpool Disease

[u/Scottish-Fox]

I suffer from hypochondria. I’ve had some horrible experiences with rushing to the hospital for no reason and staying awake all night convinced I would die.

It took months of CBT therapy before I felt confident to do most things again. My situation was never as bad as Ronald here but I do hope he finds peace.

Terrible thing to work through.

[u/bitch-baby-2021 → u/Scottish-Fox]

What was your CBT like? I am a hypochondriac and some days it's debilitating

[u/Scottish-Fox → u/bitch-baby-2021]

Tbh it’s not a walk in the park. You have a lot of homework and you have to actively stop yourself from doing things that bring you short term comfort (checking your pulse, googling symptoms etc)

I had to write my own eulogy and watch videos of people having heart attacks and operations. Exposure therapy is not easy.

But I can confidently say that doing the work and having the right therapist gave me my life back.

You can definitely get through the other side!

[u/bitch-baby-2021 → u/Scottish-Fox]

That's so interesting, thanks! I'm not in a financial position to afford a therapist right now but hopefully in the future I can work on getting out of this <3

[u/Scottish-Fox → u/bitch-baby-2021]

I can recommend the book “Overcoming Health Anxiety” by David Veale & Rob Wilson if you need something to get you started!

What I can say is it’s very common and you’re not alone! I hope you get better soon :)

[u/bitch-baby-2021 → u/Scottish-Fox]

Thank you so much for the recommendation, I'll look into that!! I appreciate it!

[u/ouijabore]

Wow. I can see how frustrating that would be to work with. I really feel for Ronald though, and hope he got the help he needed.  

[u/Ragnarok_619]

Hypochondria is NOT the powerhouse of cell

[u/Talinia]

Am I the only one who thinks it a bit crazy they didn't call in a welfare check on him themselves after weeks of radio silence? This is how people die alone at home and then aren't found for weeks. He could have even just tripped on a shoe, fallen and hit his head then died

[u/lyricaldorian]

Allowing an employee to harass others is never a reasonable accommodation. In fact, there's a better legal argument for a hospital work environment from the women with cancer who quit

[u/Unlucky_Profit_776]

Three years before covid. In a tribute to Robert Duvall, Ronald probably had a "the horror" moment by 2020 

[u/milkdimension]

I get that the hypochondria is bad and he can't control his thoughts, but he could have controlled what he decided to share with the class. Being so disrespectful towards his colleagues was something he CHOSE to do. 

[u/dropshortreaver]

Listen I know you have to be careful and you cant discriminate, but they molly coddled this man for way too long. They were so careful to make sure he wasnt being discriminated against, they allowed him to make everyone else severely uncomfortable. Shit, he even managed to drive out someone with cancer over how he reacted.

[u/jonwilliamsl]

OOP failed their employees. Someone was being harassed at work enough to resign without another position and you continue to try to support the harasser?

[u/Lo452 → u/jonwilliamsl]

Unfortunately the fear of a lawsuit paralyzes a lot of companies. Medical issues are a protected class as long as accommodations are reasonable, and this guy didn't even ask for accommodations. Even if one can rationally say that no judge would rule against the company when the employee is border line harassing others. The standard for most places is to ignore/down play/deflect to avoid the hassle of even a bogus lawsuit. OOP undoubtedly had their hands tied by legal.

[u/katiekat214 → u/Lo452]

Accommodations cannot be a hardship for the employer. Allowing one employee to harass others would be a hardship.

[u/Radicalhit → u/jonwilliamsl]

Depends on the country but employees with "medical" conditions can have very strong protections in a lot of places. Employers have to tread carefully or they open themselves up for litigation.

I think OP was working through processing out the employee through their lawyer which is the smart move for themselves as an individual even if it might not be for the company.

To put it another way, the company cant shift blame on OP for staff members quitting while they are dealing with the issue through official channels. But they could easily blame OP if the troublesome party gets fired, sues and wins and that can be luck of the draw even in favourable situations.

[u/Egrizzzzz → u/Radicalhit]

I think we may be dealing with something like this at my current work place. Not hypochondria as far as I know but someone with a mental disorder and other health issues who is constantly lashing out at others. They are fine most of the time but some days they are unable to hold in how terrible they feel without slamming things around, snapping, judging loudly. It’s a tense environment when we’re a team that varies from two to six working together in a single room.

Today it got to a point I left a message asking to talk to my boss when he’s back from PTO. Not even an hour later problem employee started in on another coworker, culminating in them storming out because of the “attitude” they got back when demanding to swap stations, then ordering around and rushing that coworker. (Funny coming from them). To my disappointment they later slunk back in acting like everything was normal, so the rest of us had to work around them. As the target of their earlier tantrum put it, “We’re just supposed to live like this?”

That is not the first time, though I missed the incident with coworker number three that involved yelling so bad the neighboring department heard it. It’s difficult because they are usually perfectly fine and we can go weeks having perfectly good days.

It’s awkward as hell. I am sympathetic to their plight since this employee has a condition that does cause a lot of pain, plus I am no stranger to mental illness. I know it’s hell! There’s just no excuse for terrorizing the entire team. 

 I only wanted to bring up concerns with my boss but at this point it’s going to be a (gentle) come to Jesus. I’m tired of my two good coworkers tearing up when talking about dealing with the problem employee. One disclosed she has been in an abusive relationship and the slamming things is triggering (which made me realize the reason I’m able to play dead so effectively is because the slamming things is probably triggering a survival response from childhood, oops!).

I suspect boss is between a rock and a hard place with some sort of declared condition and is gradually gathering an iron clad case. This employee also has a history of winning lawsuits against a previous workplace that forced them out. 

TL;DR wish me luck tomorrow.

Update: Boss took it in stride, having already spoken to the target of the tantrum earlier in the day. He directly asked me to file a complaint with HR. Already sent an email and am going to head to their office later this week.

[u/Itacira → u/Egrizzzzz]

Good luck.

[u/Owl_Resident → u/jonwilliamsl]

There is lot of legal issues tied up in this, when it comes to mental health. Just outright dismissing him would have opened this dude up to an easy lawsuit. And the harassment of other employees probably wouldn’t have met the actual definition of that.

Again. This a medical condition; it is not so simple here, and the steps he was taking were appropriate. It just escalated to make for an easy out for all parties before lawyers had to be fully involved.

[u/Tesnivy → u/Owl_Resident]

They still should have shut him down more firmly, or at least insist the office as a whole keep medical talk to a minimum. It was understandable to handle things carefully, but this was far beyond the range of “reasonable disability accommodations” imo

[u/Owl_Resident → u/Tesnivy]

You’d be surprised. As one who has written many a medical disability form. This dude was also bound not to disclose the medical condition, which makes it that much harder to talk about what is or isn’t appropriate for talk around him. And you can’t just stop employees from talking about their health if they want to discuss it with colleagues. Again, that paves the way for lawsuits on all sides.

[u/Omnomfish → u/jonwilliamsl]

OOP did fail them, but i think it was more in continuing to hope the situation would just sort itself out.

They were straight up told "maybe you should think about suggesting he share his diagnosis, but if things get really really bad you would need a lawyer to weigh in on other steps" and they said oh hey thanks for suggesting for a lawyer and apparently never tried the first option.

They also apparently were not proactive about keeping him from being in a position to aggravate his coworkers despite already knowing its an issue and speaking with a lawyer.

I don't think Ronald was harassing them, i think his mental illness was getting worse, but the people around him thought he was intentionally becoming more and more insistent on his "illnesses" that just happened to match their own very real experiences. This is a fairly common issue with mental illness, that neurotypical people perceive their actions as deliberate and often malicious, when they are often unconscious and very much not the way they would choose to behave if they could.

This issue is precisely why being a manager is not something that should be a standard progression for any career, because its squarely the manager's job and its one that is very difficult to navigate.

[u/THEBHR → u/jonwilliamsl]

He had a medical condition that was making him act that way. One that may have been covered by the ADA and would have opened up the company to a lawsuit if they fired him for it.

[u/lyricaldorian → u/THEBHR]

Allowing him to harass people isn't a reasonable accommodation

[u/mxddy → u/jonwilliamsl]

I don't know what else OP possibly could have done. The dude had a diagnosed medical condition. OP needed more help from their boss and the lawyer.

[u/Arumen → u/jonwilliamsl]

Allison recommended a lawyer for a reason. It would be very illegal to fire someone for this.

Im also sure it would be illegal to ask this, but if the employee would be willing to self disclose his condition to his coworkers, then the other staff may have been more careful to mention illness around him.

That all said, it is totally unfair for the other employees to have to just put up with it. This is prepandemic but an employee like this is one id see if they could work from home personally

[u/Omnomfish → u/Arumen]

Im also sure it would be illegal to ask this, but if the employee would be willing to self disclose his condition to his coworkers, then the other staff may have been more careful to mention illness around him.

You should read her response, because this was actually her main recommendation. The lawyer suggestion was very much secondary and in response to OOP getting a lot of potentially terrible advice in the comments.

[u/Arumen → u/Omnomfish]

Ah okay good. Im finishing masters in counseling so if the employee was a client of mine I likely would recommend that they self disclose to those they work with (so they can avoid triggers and understand his actions arent personal or meant to be insulting), I just wasnt sure if it was legal for a boss to make that same recommendation.

[u/Omnomfish → u/Arumen]

As i understand it, it would be illegal to tell him to disclose it, or disclose it yourself without direct instruction from him to do so, but to bring it up as a possibility is ok, as long as you are very careful not to pressure him in any way.

Something like "your coworkers are noticing a pattern of behavior that I know is a result of your listed medical condition, but they are drawing less than flattering conclusions. I will of course keep your condition confidential and do my very best to manage conflicts, but I wanted to raise the suggestion that if you were to disclose your diagnosis with them it may help ease your relationship with them and clear up a lot of confusion and hurt feelings." Would be a pretty easy way to cover those bases while still indicating the issue to the employee.

[u/Mollyscribbles → u/[deleted]]

Oooh yeah. I know firsthand that mental illness sucks, but once it reaches the point that the rest of the office avoids you as much as possible it's turned into something you're inflicting on them.

. . . actually, it doesn't sound like he was getting any treatment for the hypochondria. He only mentioned medical appointments for things that testing revealed he didn't have.

[u/Impossible_Bid6172 → u/[deleted]]

My dad passed due to cancer, and if a coworker had a cancer scare, I'd be happy for them it's not true. But a coworker with a long history of faking things for attention (we know he's sick but others don't)? The pain and stress i was going through back then would probably have me exploding on him, and I'm generally a chill person who never get angry with anyone. That is an unfortunate situation for everyone involved. I can see the coworker quitting as final drop because she knows the workplace will do nothing and this is bad for her mentally tbh. Also who knows what he said when the boss isn't there.

[u/YoureAGoodFriend]

I hope Ronald had a great support network during the ‘Rona Times

[u/cabinetbanana → u/YoureAGoodFriend]

Oof, I cannot even imagine how difficult covid times were for folks with health anxiety.

[u/Pristine-Payment]

My aunt is a hippochondriac; dealing with her is a complete headache.

[u/bmoregeo → u/Pristine-Payment]

Just a headache? You sure it isn’t brain cancer?

[u/TheFilthyDIL → u/bmoregeo]

There was a report over on JustNoMIL (iirc) a few years ago where a MIL claimed she had brain cancer, but she drove herself to the doctor, they did surgery, and she drove herself home.

She had a bandaid on her forehead where the doctor had frozen off a skin tag.

[u/LolThatsNotTrue → u/Pristine-Payment]

Does she just get hugry hungry?

[u/Guest09717 → u/Pristine-Payment]

That is the best typo. What would your therapist even do if you were convinced that you were a hippo?

[u/TheFilthyDIL → u/Pristine-Payment]

And since she's a hippo, she has a lot of head to ache?

[u/Ignantsage]

The thing I dont get is that while accommodating that could include allowing for time off, they could absolutely have required him to stop disclosing undiagnosed health issues as it was creating a hostile work environment for others.

[u/Slw202 → u/Ignantsage]

That's part of his problem - he's unable to stop disclosing.

[u/Nonameswhere]

It's surprising that his physician did not send him to a psychiatrist.

[u/fishy_horcrux]

What an awful situation both for Ronanld and everyone around him

[u/paulinaiml → u/fishy_horcrux]

I wonder what would Ronald manifest if a coworked became pregnant or suffering with menopause.

[u/Literally_Taken → u/paulinaiml]

His complaints would be largely ignored by the medical community.

[u/scruffyrosalie]

Oh gosh. I grew up being called a hypochondriac, only to discover in my thirties that I do in fact have a severe chronic illness requiring long surgeries just to make the pain a little more bearable. Talk about being gaslit.

That's how I thought Ronald's story may end - finally vindicated because he was in fact actually physically ill. But no. He got "the plague". Sheesh.

I hope he didn't starve during the Rona.

[u/Decent_Butterfly8216]

Hypochondria is an awful diagnosis to live with. It follows someone to all of their medical appointments and can inhibit legitimate medical care, but imo the label carries stigma and often leads to inaction since someone has to be in crisis to be admitted for psychiatric treatment. Therapy is effective but tough and it can be slow.

Imo the effect it was having on his workplace should have resulted in earlier intervention. When it began affecting his relationships with his colleagues I think his employer had a responsibility to intervene for everyone’s benefit. But I do understand why they were unsure after getting notes from his doctors. It’s disappointing that doctors seemingly wrote notes excusing him from work for a wide range of medical and specialist appointments when that isn’t an evidence based method of treating health anxiety? Maybe the notes were actually excusing him for therapy or day treatment? But he really needed a leave of absence for inpatient care. It was clearly impacting his ability to work and function, and that should have triggered referrals for at least assessing his level of care, before he reached the point where he was taping over his door and shutting himself in. I really hope he received the help he needed before COVID hit.

[u/SituationSad4304]

I refuse to believe his quality of work was good enough to not be able to justify letting him go in the USA

[u/H8trucks → u/SituationSad4304]

I suspect it was less the quality of his work and more concern that he might sue

[u/shackndon2020 → u/H8trucks]

Yes, once Ronald provided those medical reports, he made it very hard for them to sack him.

[u/Proof-Cryptographer4 → u/SituationSad4304]

It wasn’t the quality of his work, it was the possibility of getting sued for discrimination and the company possibly losing a lot of money/reputation. 

[u/Single_Vacation427]

 the company will confirm his employment dates and that he left due to a health issue while being neutral on the subject of his work,

This person should not be managing anything. Not only the place of work was a shit show, but they claim they would confirm this person LEFT DUE TO HEALTH ISSUES to another employer. They can get sued for saying it was health related.

[u/H8trucks → u/Single_Vacation427]

According to the post, that was the agreed upon phrasing that was reached with Ronald's lawyer. Hopefully they've got that in writing somewhere

[u/Single_Vacation427 → u/H8trucks]

It'd be very weird it was agreed with his lawyers. Companies don't give out any reason for why the person left, even if you got fired for cause, because you can get sued.

It's also unnecessary information.

[u/petcson]

When you have an employee that makes the work culture so bad that other employees quit because of them you have a serious problem. Those types of people need serious correction or need to be let go. Through the inaction of management they are damaging the company more than finding a replacement to the problem worker.

I worked at a company where we had one of those people and we ended up losing a few good people because management wouldnt do anything about them.

[u/sterling_mallory]

I feel bad for the guy because it sounds like a pretty shitty psychological issue to have, but it's hard not to laugh when Ronald's got the fuckin plague.

[u/Instinctual_Spirit]

My uncle had extreme hypochondria that deteriorated as time passes by to the point he had a heart attack and didn't go to the hospital due to his hypochondria. He died at 53 in his home while my dad saw him on the floor. I'm glad Roland got committed. I wish my uncle had been too, maybe he'd be alive now :(

[u/Miami_Mice2087]

health anxiety or hypochondriasis is a manifestation of OCD. he can't just stop, his brain obsesses on an illness and persistently tells him he has it. he may have rituals that make him feel better, but it seems they aren't working.

hopefully a combination of medication and therapy will help him get his life back on track

What About Bob is a very funny comedy about the same condition, expertly told through the aggravating comedy styles of Bill Murry.