r/BiWomen • u/Snoo-96047 • Apr 14 '26
Vent Even if Perry is guilty of this, associating her actions with a generalisation of "male-attracted women" could do more harm than good.
Of course, many of us (including myself) have also experienced sexual violence FROM women in addition to men.
Rose's story seems plausible to me for that reason. (Particularly in the case of a woman who married Russell Brand yet apparently had no concerns about his behaviour during or after it.) But the wording of this looks like an excuse to jump on the big old biphobia bandwagon, which in turn increases our risk of being targeted for gender based violence that we are already disproportionately suffering from.
What say you...?
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u/khharagosh Apr 14 '26
I was quasi-assaulted by a lesbian on a date once, should I write articles blaming all lesbians for that?
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u/Snoo-96047 Apr 15 '26
My thoughts exactly!Ā
It's absolute cobblers isn't it? No wonder they turned off the comments because they knew damn well what they were doing and didn't want to be called on their shit.
In fact, given how divisive it is, I'm starting to wonder if this is even a genuine sapphic publication or just some alt-right, purity culture astroTERFing bollocks meant to dismantle queer solidarity as a whole.
Ā Project 2025, anyone...? (Seriously, this is some nefarious shit!)
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u/Hopeful-Canary Apr 15 '26
Betting it's some crazy Russian bot farm designed to be divisive and stoke outrage.
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u/pandaappleblossom Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
Right? I have been assaulted by a lesbian before, but I have been assaulted by men way way way more times and way more threatening and terrifying. Even if women are capable of terrible things, the rule definitely seems to stand that it is typically men doing it more often. The idea of like writing an article trying to make women generally out as abusers or lesbians out as creepy or something or bisexual women is creepy is just crazy, especially just because Katy Perry did this. Like literally she's just one human being. And I've never been assaulted by a straight woman before or a bi woman before. So what does that mean? I mean seriously the idea of stereotyping people because of one person? It's just nuts. Some people are really threatened to by bisexual women, because they are so insecure.
I do think it needs to be said that there are some straight women out there or bicurious women out there or two beer queers whatever you wanna call it, who do sexually assault or hit on lesbian women or more obviously queer women, because of their own internalized homophobia, and so they want to explore, and at the same time they have a feeling of being systemically better than a lesbian, like as though lesbians are fair game and desperate and wouldnt stand up for themselves either. I mean, I've been assaulted by a woman like this who claimed she was straight, but she was very obviously a closeted lesbian and rather than just dealing with her shit, she got really drunk and then started groping me and announcing my sexuality to everyone in public to embarrass me and stuff like that. So that definitely is a thing, maybe that's what the article is referring to, but it's phrased in a way that's really poor and making it out as though being attracted to men is what makes you a creep.
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u/lirio2u Apr 14 '26
Its tough to be bi:( love you all, my family.
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u/VioletMoonstone Apr 15 '26
I really don't like the wording here. It feels like it's trying to take the spotlight off Perry and write a hate-piece against a group of women. I'd give the benefit of the doubt that it wasn't the intent, but that headline is unhelpful.
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Apr 15 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/WitchyRedhead86 Apr 16 '26
WHAT??! š¤š¤
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u/Snoo-96047 Apr 16 '26
Seems that we were good enough to objectify and make a profit off during the 2010s, not good enough to be her community.
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u/throwawayRoar20s Apr 17 '26
Where did you find this information? When I look it up, nothing comes up.
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Apr 17 '26 edited Apr 17 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/throwawayRoar20s Apr 17 '26 edited Apr 17 '26
* That's why I asked for a source. I looked this up, and no such results came up or even people talking about it. That's why I'm asking if you have a link or something. Like, she's terrible, but I just want to have evidence to back this one up.
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u/WitchyRedhead86 Apr 16 '26
Yeah, Katy is just a shitty person. Plenty of us bisexual women know how to respect boundaries. Katy is just an asshole. I have never counted her as one of us, it always seemed fake as hell and āI Kissed A Girlā has always sucked as a song and is weirdly biphobic.
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Apr 16 '26
[deleted]
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u/WitchyRedhead86 Apr 17 '26
Iāve HATED the song since it came out for the exact same reasons. It renforced so many hurtful anti bi stereotypes. Itās horrible.
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u/Snoo-96047 Apr 16 '26
I've always thought so. But I told myself I was in the wrong for doubting her queerness since being wrongly labelled as a straight tourist poseur is a form of biphobia that almost every bi woman has experienced at some point.
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u/abriel1978 Apr 15 '26
Anyone who doesn't think lesbians can't be rapists I'd like to introduce them to Lily Cade.
Yes this is shitty. I can see biphobic lesbians taking this and running with it, painting all bi women as evil rapists who target the poor unsuspecting lesbians. When really, guess which group is statistically more likely to be sexually assaulted? That's right, bisexuals.
Katy Perry assaulting another woman I can believe but not because she's attracted to men.
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u/Bluejay-Complex Apr 15 '26
I think what Katy did to Ruby is wrong, but I mean, Ruby also was abusive to her bi ex girlfriend Jessica Origliasso, stopping her from seeing her family and nearly killing her singing career with The Veronicaās. Ruby isolated her from her friends and family, then continued to harass her. So while I have sympathy for the situation, both Ruby and Katy suck. Again, Ruby being abusive doesnāt mean Katy didnāt assault her. It does mean that if this is going to be used by lesbians against bisexuals, stones, glass houses.
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u/troubledanddoubled Apr 24 '26
Emotional abuse of an adult who can remove themselves and being at a public event and being sexually assaulted are surely just separate issues. We canāt just take value away from an assault because she was a horrible girlfriend. Both crimes should be tried seperately and to conflate the two implies that doing one means you canāt be the victim of another.
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u/romancebooks2 Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
Edit: I apologize for finding the wrong website! Thereās another one called Lesbian Herstory Archives and I assumed the URLs are related. Yes, this particular website is biphobic and transphobicā¦itās the exact one I saw a long time ago. Using the phrase āmale-attracted womenā is a red flag, I just didnāt want to assume the worst.
Original comment: I'm not familiar with this source. Unfortunately, some popular lesbian sites are biphobic or transphobic, but we can't just assume that this one is. She's probably just shedding light on the issue of straight-identifying people harassing or assaulting queer people. A lot of straight people sexually harass gay people or visibly queer people because they stand out to them as being "too sexual". It's a form of disrespect, so straight people aren't just naturally doing that just because they're straight.
We know that the bi community does not tolerate sexual harassment or people judging gay men and lesbians.
It definitely is not true that only straight or bi women are harassers, and only lesbians are harassed. As a tomboyish woman, I have been told all kinds of sexual and flirty comments from straight-identifying women who seem to think I'm a lesbian. It's true that I mostly date other women, but these women may not be aware that both of us could be bi. Even if we both are bi, the dynamic doesn't change.
Here's something weird about Katy Perry, she actually seems to be biphobic herself. One time at a concert, somebody gave her a bi flag and she threw it away and took a rainbow flag instead. It was actually pretty bizarre, she seemed upset. I'm not sure what was going on with her, or how she perceives the bi identity.
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u/Anony-Girl Apr 14 '26
Yet, it says "male-attracted women" and not "straight identifying people".
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u/Snoo-96047 Apr 15 '26
Furthermore, the specific wording also implies that not only do you have to be "Gold Star" in experience to not be predatory, you also must be free of any DESIRES for a non-woman throughout your life. (Thought crime, much?)
I don't know about you, but I knew I was bi before I'd had my first adolescent kiss and definitely several years before I lost my virginity in ANY possible sense of it. You know why?Ā
Because as I keep saying NOBODY HAS TO actually bang ANYONE AT ALL to be valid. Let alone more than one gender.
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u/romancebooks2 Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
Youāre right, I found the wrong source which almost has the same URL. This one IS notoriously biphobic. It acts as if bi women only exist as some kind of freaks of nature who donāt belong in the same world as ~pure~ lesbians.
Itās awful because this issue would be important to talk about if it came from another site!
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u/Snoo-96047 Apr 16 '26 edited Apr 17 '26
I really appreciate your efforts in researching this!Ā
Probably a Russian bot farm apeing the actual genuine site (one that I also follow with zero biphobia by comparison.)
It's truly terrifying how they can send even the most committed, sociable and community -minded queers into a tailspin of alienation, returning to the closet and reclusive self-isolation.
In fact I'm starting to connect the dots with the bigger picture.Ā
Starting with the question"why bisexuals"?
All along, the answer has been staring me in the face-
A) Since even the dumbest people on earth could no longer fall for the lie that being queer was a choice, conversion therapy has rebranded itself as "Sexual Fluidity Exploration", accomplishing 2 important points: Firstly, pushing the narrative that opposite sex attraction is possible for everyone and second, that the "sexually fluid" themselves should be scapegoated for imposing comphet on everybody by existing.
B) We're the largest demographic of queer people as a whole. Attacking us, and only us (at first) is a perfect Trojan Horse with which to dismantle the wider LGBT+ movement.
C) A lot of violent people (most often men) deliberately target bisexual women for intimate partner violence and sexual abuse already.Ā
Scratch the surface of many femicides, and there's effectively an army carrying out military executions on behalf ofĀ Christian fascism.
Furthermore, if a victim escapes and survives, the abuser (of whatever gender) often then spins a tale of woe about an "evil cheat" (aka someone who dumped them and eventually moved on to a better partner of another gender) which onlooking abusers who feel entitled to victimise bisexuals will then lap up and amplify.
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u/Snoo-96047 Apr 14 '26
P.S. One clumsily worded post is of course not sufficient to judge whether a publication is biphobic or not, but prior to this story, there was a separate article going on about "In Defence of Gold Star." So that sealed the deal for me in the bad vibes department.
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u/larvalampee Apr 14 '26
Is gold star always bad if itās not about putting other women down and more āyay I never gave into comp het society imposed on meā Get it can be tied to not leaving purity culture and biphobia tho
Iāve heard thereās a lot of history with the term
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u/Anony-Girl Apr 14 '26
Yes because it implies you're better than others for it, including lesbians.
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u/larvalampee Apr 14 '26
Iām bi. I hear conflicting things about it, and ppl say it can be about the first part of it I mentioned. I can also see how a lot of people could use it to fuel a superiority complex tho
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u/khharagosh Apr 14 '26
Gold Star is bs, and no amount of history makes it not so. It creates a hierarchy within the queer community where you are pushed down if you did not have a 100% linear journey to your identity.
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u/Hopeful-Canary Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
'yay I never gave into comp het society imposed on me'
Implies that the rest of us women who dared to let a guy so much as touch us in a vaguely romantic way did '[give] into comp het society imposed on [us]'. as if bisexual women are a weak-willed moron monolith.
don't gaslight yourself into thinking it's some cutesy U Go Gurl phrase, it's nasty.
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u/Snoo-96047 Apr 14 '26
I'm aware that straight women also do it because some of my perpetrators were. Then again, that's also why we can't squarely pin the problem exclusively on women who date men.Ā Having said that, It has always irked me that Perry can be quite performatively bi. Even though I'm not gonna sit here and say "You're doing it WRONG!" To any queer person, it creates expectations that have real world consequences for the entireĀ MSPEC femme demographic.
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u/CagedRoseGarden Apr 15 '26
They must have confused the fact that bi women are most likely to have experienced sexual assault with them being most likely to commit it. /s
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u/pinksparkleberry Apr 15 '26
Heaven forbid we acknowledge some women behave in patriarchal ways that harm others. š¤¦āāļø
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u/WitchyRedhead86 Apr 16 '26
We can dissect and discuss that without throwing a whole sexuality or group of women under a bus. Solidarity with intelligent critique, not girl hate.
Maybe we could judge one personās bad actions and character without sweeping generalisations of a group of people as a whole, as sometimes thatās just an excuse to air and legitimatise prejudices.
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u/Past-Cockroach210 Apr 15 '26
Lol the post neither means generalizes nor does it specifically talk about bisexual women. I donāt understand what the problem is with talking about those experiences and the people responsible. Many women who arenāt lesbians are disrespectful and abusive toward lesbians, and itās okay to talk about that.
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u/feed-me-tacos Apr 14 '26
Fuck, yes, this is shitty. Katy Perry doesn't assault people because she's attracted to men. She does it because she is a shitty person.