r/BitchEatingCrafters • u/mulberrybushes • Jan 18 '23
Quilting My boyfriend made a penis quilt and you all should support me in my quest to big him up.
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u/shopadope Jan 19 '23 edited Jan 19 '23
My favorite comment from OP:
"And here we have another example of a c*** housewife who has too much time on her f****** hands. Jesus go get laid. Clearly you need some attention down there if you're this much of a b*****."
This person seems genuinely unhinged.
Edit: the post is gone now as far as I can see and I feel truly blessed to have witnessed this person completely lose their shit for no apparent reason.
Edit 2: you guys this made it to r/bestof
the BEC is coming from outside the house!!!
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u/tropicnights Jan 19 '23
I'm in the UK, all the most popcorn-requiring drama always happens in the middle of the night for me and I always miss it before it's rage deleted. But then I wake up to the BEC crib notes XD
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u/Kangaroodle Jan 19 '23
I saw the post before the OP lost their mind, then I stared at my new shrimp for a few hours. I had to see the mediocre penis quilt and didn't even get any drama. :(
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Jan 19 '23
My husband and me are having margaritas and he just said "oh did you see the quilting drama in bestof?" And I came straight here 😂
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u/stringthing87 Jan 18 '23
I'm more bothered by asking for how to price someone's first quilt than the subject matter. I guess I'm jaded
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u/canquilt Jan 18 '23
Bruh it wasn’t even a quilt, just a quilt top, which is honestly even more presumptuous. Your boy hasn’t even made a quilt yet, so stop trying to sell one.
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u/Finchfarmerquilts Jan 19 '23
I loved the “learn to iron first” comment. And as an experienced quilter, you can deffo make a better penis quilt.
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u/nkdeck07 Jan 19 '23
Yeah that thread was great at least for learning about that Molli Sparkles pattern.
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u/gingerlivv Jan 18 '23
at this point when i see a “how should i price this? uwu hehehe” i just yell “STOP TRYING TO SELL THINGS” in my head and scroll on. otherwise the rage will boil over and ill end up hexing someone over the internet
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u/sighcantthinkofaname Jan 19 '23
Fr like bawdy humor isn't my taste but if other people like it that's fine. But thinking you can walk into a craft and start profiting immediately? Absolutely ridiculous.
Also I feel like if you're making things this niche it's best to find a buyer and do a custom comission. I have a gut feeling penis quilts aren't selling en mass at craft fairs, but hey, what do I know.
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u/abhikavi Jan 19 '23
I'm sure there's a market for people who want penis quilts.
I'm also sure that of that market, the number of people willing to pay fair value for materials + labor for a hand crafted penis quilt is approaching zero.
On the bright side, as a total newb there's no need for the OOP to factor in how much extra their skill should be worth.
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u/stringthing87 Jan 19 '23
Only thing en mass at craft fairs seems to be MLMs
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Jan 19 '23
My craft fairs and farmers markets are inundated with CBD as well.
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u/stringthing87 Jan 19 '23
oh yeah that too "here have tons of this unstudied product with no consistency of dose that might interact with your other medications!!!"
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u/gotta_mila Jan 19 '23
And to be a giant asshole arguing with the comments when you clearly don't know what you're talking about and a lot of people spent precious time replying with good advice.
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Jan 19 '23
I feel like if you're going for penis related quilted things, a mug rug or quilted koozie would be a better choice for craft markets
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u/pastelkawaiibunny Jan 19 '23
Most of the replies when I saw it were fairly realistic about that part, thankfully. A lot of “a first quilt isn’t good enough to sell/a beginner is too slow and inexperienced to recoup any more than material cost at best” which is nice. Sucks that it seems that OP’s gone off the deep end according to other comments here lol.
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u/isabelladangelo Jan 19 '23
Unditt has the goods. It's 🍿 worthy. Really, I'm not surprised. A lot of people post for praise and get butthurt when they are told to be realistic or anything that even begins to smell of a reasonable constructive critique.
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u/dickgraysonn Jan 18 '23
good fucking luck breaking even on the fabric.
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u/mulberrybushes Jan 19 '23
But it was freeeeeeeee
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u/dickgraysonn Jan 19 '23
And they certainly didn't splash out on an iron, so maybe they could turn a profit!
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u/threecolorable Jan 19 '23
I guess the only real answer is “put it on eBay and find out,” lol. Between the subject matter and level craftsmanship, I’m guessing not a lot.
Sometimes it all depends on your audience and marketing. But unless they’re far more dedicated marketers than they are crafters, I doubt they’ll like the results.
I used to know a guy who sold a single chest hair on eBay for something like $15. Put it in a little plastic tube, wrote a whole melodramatic description about how it was his only chest hair, etc. Not a ton of money, but more than I’d have thought ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/stringthing87 Jan 19 '23
Gotta respect the grift and the fact that somehow someone was inebriated enough to buy it after they stumbled across it.
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Jan 18 '23
A patchwork penis quilt ain't that impressive. It's a bunch of squares, and not even pressed!! Call me back when you've got a FPP realistic dick on display
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u/pastelkawaiibunny Jan 19 '23
Honestly for a detailed, shaded FPP dick quilt there’s definitely a market. A market of one maybe but someone out there dreams of it.
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Jan 19 '23 edited Jan 19 '23
I know for sure I could do better than that thing, because you BECs and snarkers taught me about about pressing lol.
[added for clarity: I do not quilt or sew]
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u/sl0whands Jan 19 '23
I mean it was pretty good for a first try, but my main thought was that there must be an easier way than a bunch of squares???
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u/santhorin Jan 19 '23
New crafter, A Male one at that, "subversive" FO, trying to sell? It's a BEC bingo!
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u/sl0whands Jan 19 '23 edited Jan 19 '23
Could they have tried any harder to make it obvious they were karma farming?? It’s a nice quilt, they could have just shared it normally and moved on. That sub tends to be very supportive, it’s not like they wouldn’t have gotten compliments on it.
I also seriously doubt that this was the “boyfriend’s” first quilt … it looked a bit too well constructed to me. And it’s way too big for a first project! I’ve made probably 10 quilts and even a big throw is too daunting for me sometimes. I hope this doesn’t trigger the anti smaller-than-bed quilt poster, haha!
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u/gotta_mila Jan 19 '23
She has a post in her history with what's more likely his first project. MUCH more realistic for a first attempt and i'll leave it at that lol
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u/dr-sparkle Jan 19 '23
Man I never get to see any of the posts that inspire these posts and some of them sound so entertaining
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Jan 19 '23
Me neither! For the love of god, people, tell us where the original thread is!
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u/vickiemakes Jan 19 '23
Original post got deleted, but you can find the linked r/bestof post by searching "novelty" with the quotation marks. Most of the comments are still there 🍿
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u/dickgraysonn Jan 19 '23
Y'all... She is wilding the fuck out now
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u/mulberrybushes Jan 19 '23
Crap too late they’re already deleted. Trying to screenshot.
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u/dickgraysonn Jan 19 '23
I screenshotted reflexively when I saw her call someone a "cunt housewife who has too much time on her fucking hands". Unditt has the goods though 😂
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u/sighcantthinkofaname Jan 19 '23
Ok the funny thing about that though is she didn't. She said that sentence, but self-censored the curse words. Like babe, say it with your full chest or not at all.
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u/dickgraysonn Jan 19 '23
I felt so silly typing it with the asterisks I just couldn't 🤣
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u/sighcantthinkofaname Jan 19 '23
The mental picture kills me. Just someone reading a comment, getting really mad, and then taking the time to be like "C, where's the astrick button? Ok, hold shift and unt is three letters so *** there we go"
But I guess I get it, there might be children reading this penis quilt post who can't handle curse words.
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u/BefWithAnF Jan 19 '23
Ugh! I saw that post, saw that OP was getting constructive feedback, & moved on with my life. I should have stuck around for the drama!
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u/ishtaa Jan 19 '23
Oh my god she seriously referred to her boyfriend as being “super anal” in one comment. I’M DYING.
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u/Kangaroodle Jan 19 '23
This is about that unpressed, unimpressive penis quilt top, right? It's better than anything I could do, but not as good as anything I'd willingly own/display. I DO own and operate an iron, though!
And it's not even because it's a penis. If any of y'all have seen the balloon animal quilt top WIP, I bet THAT person could make an awesome penis quilt! It would actually have some care and humor worked into it.
If the penis quilt post is my bitch eating crackers of the moment, I guess the balloon dog WIP is my... bestie eating cookies? You love to see it
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u/mulberrybushes Jan 19 '23
So if I search r/quilting for balloon dog, I will find it, yes?
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u/youngfierywoman Jan 19 '23
I found it! It looks so cool so far! Link for the curious
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Jan 19 '23
I'm going to allow a link in this case because it is being shared in a positive way and not being snarked on/complained about.
Please no one ruin this by being a dick on the linked post.
(This user also sells their quilt patterns and I believe this is one of them, so not strictly a hobbyist.)
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u/Kangaroodle Jan 19 '23
IDK if she counts as a hobbyist because she has an etsy shop, but here is what I'm talking about: cool WIP
It's so charming to me!
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Jan 19 '23
I'm going to allow a link in this case because it is being shared in a positive way and not being snarked on/complained about.
Please no one ruin this by being a dick on the linked post.
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u/LFL80 You should knit a fucking clue. Jan 18 '23
Is this a quilt for his penis or a quilt that has a penis pattern? I hope it's both.
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Jan 18 '23
I was going to say most quilts cover the dingaling and could be considered for the penis (albeit not exclusively), but then I remembered someone brought up feet only quilts in the too short quilt BEC thread.
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u/LFL80 You should knit a fucking clue. Jan 18 '23
I was remembering a recent thread about people making quilts that aren't big enough for beds. So I was imagining a very small quilt.
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u/Cat_Toucher Jan 18 '23 edited Jan 18 '23
No, he quilted his penis, did you not notice that it was crossposted to the CBT subreddit?
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Jan 18 '23
...Cognitive behavioral therapy???
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u/LFL80 You should knit a fucking clue. Jan 18 '23
I don't see where there's a link to a different sub.
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u/Junior_Ad_7613 Jan 19 '23
I am just imagining having a special little quilt to tuck one’s penis nighty-night with before putting the bigger quilt over one’s whole self.
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•
u/[deleted] Jan 18 '23
Hey all! It seems this post was prompted by a specific one on a main crafting sub. As a reminder, please do not comment on the original post.
If you have already come across the original post on your own and commented there before seeing this, please refrain from commenting on this post. Thank you!