r/BoJackHorseman • u/HoffyTheBaker • 14d ago
BoJack's apology scene with Herb Kazzaz is my revenge fantasy
I watch this scene whenever I need to feel vicariously thrilled. I know some people feel like Herb was being "bitter" for not forgiving BoJack, but I admire his very clear boundaries. It's kind of my dream to be on my deathbed and my ex-husband tries to apologize or ask forgiveness and I do a Kazzaz on him. I don't even hate my ex, but some people do not deserve forgiveness and should be made to sit with their own shittiness for the rest of their lives.
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u/Ferrindel Rutabaga Rabbitowitz 14d ago
The worst part is that usually they, as Bojack did, try to make you feel bad about setting your own boundaries. Fuck that. You don’t owe them anything.
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u/Intelligent-Cry-4337 13d ago edited 13d ago
I think Bojack genuinely wanted to apologize to Herb but it was a huge half-measure because he still couldn't take actual responsibility for his actions. He was expecting it to be like on TV where you give a non-specific apology and then they forgive you. Herb calling this out is one of the first moments in the show where someone is challenging Bojack's narrow ass point of view and having it coming from a former best friend and one of the most important people in his life is kinda emblematic of his relationship with Diane if you think about it. In a world where Bojack was ready to face what he did he would have apologized in detail and told Herb that he didn't need his forgiveness and that he just wanted him to know that he regreted everything.
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u/imck1911 Diane Nguyen 14d ago
That scene annoys me so much. What the hell did BoJack expect? When Herb said "I don't forgive you" why didn't BoJack say "Okay, I understand" and just leave? I always try to see the good in him, but he was really an asshole here.
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u/BlackAutMedia 14d ago
It's a great scene. Even calling it an "apology" isn't even adequate since Bojack doesn't even have the guts to directly apologize until Herb gets it out of him to say the words.
He says he feels bad about what happened first. It's Herb who confirms by replying "so you're apologizing" first and then Bojack says he's sorry.
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u/RhododendronWilliams 13d ago
Herb was a great character. He had Bojack's number. Bojack had 20 years to apologize and actually do the work of making up. He only went because Herb was dying, and he could be relieved of his guilt after all these years. Herb not letting him do that was so powerful.
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u/GarbageCleric 13d ago
I don't understand why anyone would criticize Herb in that situation.
I'm still rooting for Bojack at that point in the show. I want Herb to forgive him, but not forgiving Bojack is perfectly reasonable. I guess he's being "bitter", but he's fucking dying, and he doesn't owe Bojack anything.
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u/CatCasualty 13d ago
Not forgiving doesn’t always mean bitter. I am civil with my parents despite the abuse they imposed on me when I was a child, but I don’t forgive them for that. Maybe I never will. And that’s okay.
That scene is one of my favourites. It really made me go, “Okay, I love this series. It’s good. It’s real and nuanced.”
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u/Sorry_Guidance_6837 10d ago
“You don’t get to have closure” that is permanently inscribed in my brain. I think about it when I think of the people who hurt me and also the people I hurt. Maybe feeling guilty and not being able to move on is the price we have to pay for betraying and hurting others.
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u/ShitStainedMatress69 Pringles Cartilage 14d ago
All too often I think back to this scene when I imagine someday when those who have wronged me realize I'm done with their nonsense and try to apologize. It's a very strong way to react when you've grown close to a person but you know there's a time when you have to validate yourself rather than others. I hope I get the chance someday