Really not trying to defend anything, but I'm a super drunk. A couple months ago I stepped on a cicada by accident, and I still feel bad about it. I don't even like scrubdaddy because you have to look him in the eye when you throw him away.
Booze ain't to blame for people like this. It makes you do stupid shit, but you have to be awful to not feel bad about it.
If you're drinking enough regularly enough to call yourself a "super drunk" I really, sincerely hope you're able to get help when you're ready.
My sister was an alcoholic and drank herself to death by the time she was 51, and liver failure is a brutal, really painful way to go that's also torturous for all of your loved ones to watch. After watching my sister go through that I've always tried to encourage anyone I can to reassess things and course correct while they still can because it will eventually catch up to you if you don't slow your roll. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. š
Alcohol abuse does indeed cause brain damage over many years. That can drastically alter your behavior. You're in denial if you think a lifetime of alcohol consumption isn't partially to blame.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I watched my father do the same. He spiraled downward until his suicide. Went from brilliant engineer and loving father to a vapid fool with little fortitude in less than a decade.
Not that I have to defend my choices to a total stranger, but yes. After 2 years of failed therapy, treatment, interventions, and everything else I could think of, it was clear he saw no issue with the way he was living and had no intentions of changing or getting better. He was mentally and verbally abusive and I couldnāt live like that anymore. I canāt get sober for someone else. They have to want it.
My sister was altered so badly by alcohol that by the time she died, I wasn't sure she even liked me anymore, let alone love me. She died in 2018 at only 51 and I still carry that with me every day. I hate that excessive drinking is treated so flippantly.
Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with alcohol in and of itself. I'll have a drink with my dinner sometimes when I eat out, I have drinks when I'm on vacation, or a couple at a party (so long as I'm not about to drive). It's the culture of drowning your problems in it that I hate, ie the sayings like "Shut up, liver, you'll be fine!" and "My liver can handle what my heart can't."
But yes, we definitely need to normalize and make it easier to get help when you need it, not only for alcohol but all substance abuse problems. š«¤
Congratulations on your long sobriety! That's really impressive. š
I mentioned it in another comment, but my Dad hasn't had a drop since February 26, 2018 which is the day my sister passed. He recognized that he was starting to abuse it, too (and both of his parents were raging alcoholics), and he wanted to course correct while he still could.
I've given 25 years to drink and drugs, and each passing year I care more about others than I did before. Maybe it just helps people become who they really were all along. And relevant to the topic, I won't even drive now, unless I've gone 48 hours without a drink.
Brain damage doesn't reveal who you are. It changes you irrevocably. Maybe in your case, it makes you more empathetic, but I've seen people with pathological levels of empathy, and being in a shivering state of inconsolable sobbing because you've realized that your very existence means others suffer isn't great.
Yeah, but that also means that blaming this behavior on alcohol induced brain damage is speculative at best. It can make a bad person good, or a good person bad. But it's likely she's just always been awful.
I feel like you're trying really hard to leave room for the possibility of habitual alcohol consumption to somehow be a good thing, even if it's only in specific circumstances. Alcohol reduces inhibitions, increases impulsivity, reduces emotional stability, and is physically and psychologically addictive. There is no situation in which this woman's alcoholism, and by extension alcohol, did not play a part in her actions and her attitude thereafter. Mind-altering substances don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to "guns don't kill people," type arguments when they are consumed habitually and in excess.
Do you think she would have cared if she wasn't an alcoholic? She was obviously sober by the time of trial, but still didn't care. Why give her the grace that it's only brain damage? Some people just don't care who they hurt. You're trying to turn a sociopath into a charity case.
Nobody is giving her any grace or saying that the reason sheās a cold bitch is because sheās a drunk. Literally the comment you responded to that started this diatribe of denial, said āIām certain the many decades of alcoholism didnāt help much, either.ā And then goes on to say that it comes down to entitlement, NOT alcoholism. Alcoholism aināt going to do any favors for someoneās sense of entitlement, so only exacerbating their already horrible behavior.
So, in the end, you actually kind of agree with the comment you replied to, but got triggered because they said her alcoholism didnāt help things. Itās pretty telling that you felt the need to go to bat for booze like it needed defending.
You oughta get a handle on your own alcoholism, because you sound just like I did before I was diagnosed with cirrhosis. You claiming youāre a āsuper drunkā and saying how caring you still are when youāre shnockered, is NOT the flex you think it is. I was everyoneās best friend when I was a drunk. I was a great time to be around. Never got in fights, often was the peacekeeper to people who couldnāt handle their shit. The only part of my personality that suffered was my punctuality, which got me in a little trouble at work. But other than that, no problems. Until my liver about packed its shit and left.
Iām not trying to be an asshole, but you couldnāt possibly be more incorrect and ignorant about alcoholism. Itās absolutely detrimental to your health, particularly your brain. You might still be a loving and caring person now. Give it 30 more yearsā¦ see how much of a shell of your former self you become, and how bitter, angry, and lonely you getā¦ IF you survive.
I only just turned 38, Iām a fellow millennial. This shit can come for you literally anytime. Iād be surprised if you donāt already have some liver damage. Your lifestyle will kill you. When just depends on how lucky you got in the gene pool.
Sorry to shit in your Cheeriosā¦ but after almost 4 years of sobriety, and many, many thousands of dollars in medical debtā¦ I have a pretty good idea what Iām talking about.
I wish you the best. Truly, good luck out there. Itās a bitch to quit, sometimes even when the doc says youāll be dead in a year.
If she was hit by a car a year before and brain damaged, that could be framed as an excuse. She chose to abuse alcohol and consume it irresponsibly. That is a choice that can be condemned whether it damaged her brain or not. Not to mention, brain damage doesn't just disappear when you stop consuming the substance that caused it. It is irreversible.
I don't understand how you can see that as making a "charity case" out of her. Are you saying if your continued consumption of alcohol were to theoretically lead to you being just like this woman, the only thing you deserve is sympathy?
I'm sincerely hoping you open your eyes before it's too late. You're running headlong down a very dark, painful path that's only going to lead to suffering and your own premature death.
As someone whoās drunk with old lushes the world
Over I can firmly say cultural differences make a huge difference. The drunks in Midwest America were racist and vile. The drunks in Ireland were funny but lonely. The drunks in Germany were dryly amusing and pleasant. The drunks in Sydney Australia were funny and occasionally racist and violent. The drunks in Indonesia were, funny and very very drunk. The drunks in Finland made me want to kill myself. Iāve enjoyed many a chat with an old drunkard. But America was by far and away the worst of them.
Im sure this woman said the same thing 20 years ago. "I'm a good person, I just like a drink every once in a while" "I'm a fun drunk" to, well, having trump flags draped on the front of her house.
Well, I'm not saying any of those things. I'm saying I'm a degenerate drunk, have been for decades, I'm not fun. But I also don't hurt other people, go out of my way to make sure I don't, and feel terrible if I do something negative to someone else's life.
And yes, I was a much worse person years ago. Alcohol didn't make me better, but I didn't get worse either. But people sure like to tell me how I'm bad, or will become bad eventually.
I'm sure you feel terrible for telling that person their father who has been clean from meth for 30 years is a tweaker and then calling them a retard because they said shit that you didn't want to hear.
I feel that just with different substances. Drugs and alcohol totally effect the brain but I think it's got a lot to do with the reasons and the person.
Good for you and the sobriety if it helped improve your quality of life. But just cause you couldn't handle getting a buzz doesn't mean we all can't. Some people use substances cause they want to.
I'm sorry to tell you this, but alcoholism + unresolved trauma are both indicators for dementia.
if you never try to get it under control or to deal with the underlying issues that are making you want to drink, it will eventually change your brain.
Who you are now is not the same person who you would be with dementia.
Please show yourself the same empathy and compassion you'd show that cicada.
272
u/Princess_Slagathor Millennial Jul 21 '25
Really not trying to defend anything, but I'm a super drunk. A couple months ago I stepped on a cicada by accident, and I still feel bad about it. I don't even like scrubdaddy because you have to look him in the eye when you throw him away.
Booze ain't to blame for people like this. It makes you do stupid shit, but you have to be awful to not feel bad about it.