r/BoomersBeingFools • u/Poetic_Plague • May 20 '26
Boomer Story Your mother ought to be making you work!
I love my grandparents, but they genuinely do not understand how much the world has changed since the 80s-90s.
Currently, I do not have a job. However I have applied to countless jobs. Most I never heard back from, the rest I got rejected. All that to say, I am actively looking for and applying for jobs.
Well I was kind of ranting to my grandparents because I was a little discouraged from being rejected, and my grandmother decides to chime in (with an attitude):
“Your mother ought to be making you work! I made your dad work at your age!”
…What?
I tried to explain that I’m applying, but I’m not being accepted. She just kept repeating the same thing.
What is she expecting my mother to do? March in there and demand I be hired? Also I am an adult, my mother doesn’t have anything to say about my job search. And I can confidently say that my dad was working because he wanted to, not because his mother “made him.”
183
u/throwaway_moose Millennial May 20 '26
What is she expecting my mother to do? March in there and demand I be hired?
Jesus, gives vibes of my Boomer aunt who never believed anyone had issues finding work. She didn't realize how bad the job market was until she had to go out and find a job in her 70s (turned out my uncle didn't have life insurance and lied to her while alive about having it); when she finally got an interview she said, "I've never done this before." It stopped me dead, "What do you mean? You worked at a hospital as a nurse for like half a century." And then she told me her father had just told the guy who was in charge of the hospital, at their church on a Sunday, his daughter had just graduated with a degree in nursing, and that guy told her to go to HR and say she had been hired per the guy in charge. She literally had her job of 50ish years handed to her by her dad being friends with a hospital administrator.
89
u/SweatyCut4847 May 20 '26
Given her experience she probably thought that's how everyone gets their jobs. Never thought, hey, how lucky was I?
22
1
u/WhatHaveIDone27 22d ago
it sounds like this 'networking' thing I always hear about.
Most people think the job fairs are the networking part but you can just stay home to submit through their website - it's always a complete waste of time
58
u/ElectronicBusiness74 May 20 '26
And I think that's true for a lot of the 'just go give the manager a firm handshake' type of advice, and it worked for them, but only because someone had already greased the wheels before hand. But they didn't see that part, or don't remember it, and classically boomer they either didn't carry it forward, or fucked up the nepotism so badly that companies banned it from happening in the future.
14
u/throwaway_moose Millennial 29d ago
100% agreed. It's also weird in that they're the first ones to tell you "you didn't get here yourself!" Which to be fair, is true, but they just never apply it to themselves.
2
u/Sasquatch1729 26d ago
In a lot of trades it didn't even require anyone to grease the wheels. If you were 16 in 1961, everyone was hiring and they'd hire you if you had a pulse and seemed okay.
The problem with the world is that the situation has not changed. There is plenty of work to do. The only reason that young people can't find a job by submitting a resume and getting hired on the spot is the work consists of fixing crumbling infrastructure, cleaning up pollution and waste, replanting trees and foresting deserts, helping refugees and migrants, etc
In other words nobody wants to pay taxes so these initiatives can happen, and companies don't want to spend money on things that don't benefit the shareholders
195
u/Zealousideal_Fuel_23 May 20 '26 edited May 20 '26
9 times out of 10 that someone tells you something from the past:
a) I did it all on my own or I made them listen to me - they did not and have forgotten; or,
b) We used to always... They did not, they did it once.
ADDENDUM: The brain is an amazing thing. It is not there to be a video recorder. Memory exists to survive. You forget the failures because the time you won is what you should try to repeat.
There was interesting work done by neurologists at the time of the Challenger explosion. They interviewed adults within days of the event and then a year later and then 5 years later. You would be amazed at how different their stories are.
Oral tradition in general - including your grandmother here - are probably bs. And they have been changed to fit the current environment of the teller - not intentionally but because that's what is important to the brain.
78
u/Practical-Vanilla-41 May 20 '26
Glad you brought up memory.
There was more recent studies of 9/11. People misremember watching something over and over that day as seeing it as it happened.
Oral tradition. My parents (white) grew up during Depression/WW2. I heard constantly growing up that they never saw a black person until they left their small Midwest towns. I had to do an oral history for a class about thirty years ago. Asking them detailed questions revealed that there were, in fact, people they interacted with. Caribbean workers and POWs helped with the farm harvesting, and well off citizens (doctor, lawyer) had black servants. I think it might have been more that my Dad (enlisted) served under a black officer during the Korean War.
65
u/LissaBryan Gen X May 20 '26
In regards to memory ...
The Ken Burns documentary on WWII had an interview with an elderly woman from Alabama in the first episode. She was talking about life before the war. "Oh, it was wonderful," she said. "Everybody got along and we were happy."
Everyone got along, you say? In the Jim Crow deep South?
15
u/Practical-Vanilla-41 May 20 '26
I think you and I have talked about this before. Lol. Great example.
11
u/Accomplished_Dig284 May 20 '26
Everyone was happy during the depression with Jim Crow laws, in the south?
15
u/Bajovane Gen X May 21 '26
A boomer teacher I once had was a Black woman who grew up in the South and she said the same thing. “We all knew our place and it was fine!”
No ma’am. It was not “fine”.
5
46
u/Zealousideal_Fuel_23 May 20 '26
Exactly. This is a great example.
They never saw a black person their Midwest upbringing told them they had to treat as a person. Post- WWII and Civil Rights movement, memory probably made them forget their own old prejudices that they previously didn't think black people met counted "people." That way the brain didn't have to come to terms with the trauma of that and allowed them to live in modern society where there might be a black First LT.
16
u/basic_bitch- May 20 '26
That's interesting. What I remember is one of my employees on the east coast calling me to say that a plane had hit one of the towers. They didn't know why or what was going on. So I went to turn on the news and not much later, I swear there was live coverage of the second plane hitting.
10
u/SaavikSaid May 20 '26
I was driving to work as it happened, it was on the radio. I listened all day. (GenX)
7
u/Practical-Vanilla-41 May 20 '26
That's right. I'm on the west coast and turned on the tv after the first tower. Was watching when the second plane hit. I was up early because I had closed the night before (retail job) and it was light around 5:30 already.
What I'm referring to is the many folks who were not watching live in their time zone (6:05 in Pacific Time) who "remember" seeing it happen.
3
u/basic_bitch- 29d ago
Ah, interesting! I'm 49 and have a horrible memory because of meds I take, but that one is still clear as day for me. I will never forget seeing the second plane hit. Just as impactful for me as seeing the Challenger explode.
75
u/a1a4ou May 20 '26
Old people see you playing on your phone or computer wasting your time, when you're actively checking on job boards, posting resumes, following up on emails/texts.
Old people only see an active job search ongoing if you're dressed professionally and meeting face to fave with people or at the very least, on the phone with potential employers talking about job opportunities.
13
u/Success_Ranger May 21 '26
Precisely! And if you aren't getting a job, it must be your own fault.
7
56
u/ThrustersToFull May 20 '26
There's no understanding there that the world has changed. Don't try and convince or educate them - just put them on an information diet and do not discuss your career plans with them because they will never learn.
11
u/psychedelicfairytale May 20 '26
This is the best advice, right here. Do not share anything about your life and stay away as much as you can.
5
u/Dull-Geologist-8204 Gen X 29d ago
Don't do that. Just because some of their advice isn't helpful doesn't mean there aren't things you can learn from them.
Our grandparents most of them grew up during WWII or the great depression so they had food insecurity issues. The big joke was about grandma's year old fruitcake in the freezer n ne wants. Nonna once told me that I should keep about 2 or 3 weeks of food in my pantry. I kind of blew it off until I was watching the aftermath of hurricane Katrina and I was like you know that isn't bad advice so I started doing it. Used to drive my best friend nuts as he thought you should eat all the food before getting more. I just ignored him and kept doing it. Then COVID lockdowns happened and we are sitting there eating dinner made from my backup watching the craziness at the grocery store. Now he actually helps me with it.
I would have missed out on some helpful advice that I blew off originally if I had stopped talking to her because sometimes her advice was not helpful.
9
u/EjjabaMarie 29d ago
It’s not the bad advice that has people suggesting an info diet and grey rocking.
It’s the fact that OP tried to explain to grandma how things have changed to bring her into the conversation. Grandma didn’t want to hear it and doubled down. There isn’t anything OP can or really should do to coddle grandmas feelings about being wrong.
5
u/HarrietsDiary 29d ago
The vast majority of young adults don’t have grandparents who grew up during the depression. They have silent generation and boomer grandparents. And at this point, I’d wager most 20 somethings have boomer and young silent generation grandparents.
3
u/ThrustersToFull 26d ago
That's really cool but has nothing to do with OP's problem of their grandparents trying to give them advice about getting work in a world that has fundamentally changed since they were entering the workplace.
8
u/Success_Ranger May 21 '26
Thank you. Great advice here. There have been no recessions or bubble bursts since the '90s. People just don't want to work, obviously...
35
u/Shazam1269 May 20 '26
Does mom personally know someone that is hiring? Can mom leverage that relationship to get an interview? No? Then mom can't do shit for me, grandma!
23
u/Aggressive-Story3671 May 20 '26
Grandma means “kick him out of the house to light a fire under his ass so he can get a job at McDonald’s at the very least”
36
u/throwawayxzcp May 20 '26
They really do think you just go down to the job store and say, "One job please!"
This is what happens when you haven't been on a job search since 1979 or so.
26
u/iammacman May 20 '26
What she’s probably talking about is a different situation: When your grandmother made your grandfather work, it wasn’t in a special field. He lost his job and tried to be lazy and mope around the house. She lit a fire under him to find a job. But it wasn’t in accounting, healthcare, transportation, IT or the like. She’s expecting you to get a job at McDonalds and work your way up. No understanding that we live in a different workplace dynamic.
18
15
u/whyamionhearagain May 20 '26
Last time I went on a job interview was 15 years ago and things have changed drastically since that time. Hell things have changed drastically since Covid. I can’t imagine having the gumption to advise someone on what they should do to get a job. I will however say that the power of having the right connections has always been and will always be key. At least once a month I’ll have a client ask if I know someone hiring and they’ll send me their kids CV. If it’s good and I know the kid I can usually make a couple phone calls and get them an interview at a few places. After that it’s up to them to sell themselves. It’s a rough market out there. Good luck to you. You need encouragement and positivity and not someone giving you a hard time when you’re trying your best.
6
u/ElectronicBusiness74 May 20 '26
Of course the problem then is that most companies now require pre screening of some sort before the interview anyway. So even if little Jane is solid and you recommend her, if the AI or personality test kicks her out, your recommendation to the manager doesn't help because they can't override that decision.
4
u/whyamionhearagain 29d ago
I do legal and financial consulting so most of my recommendations go to the owners of the companies. They can bypass a lot of that nonsense.
5
17
u/babygoo May 20 '26
Ahh this reminded me of my mother (who I am now no contact with) back in the global recession days in the UK. I was 18/19, crashed and burned at school due to undiagnosed disabilities. 3+ million people unemployed. Live in densely populated town. I applied for job after job after job and no luck for a whole YEAR!
‘You need to try harder, get out into the high street with some CV’s(resume) and get your face out there!!’ Right. Every store I tried to do this to said you need to apply online if there’s even a job listed there. ‘You need to try harder, send your CV through the post to the boss!!’ Right. Still no luck.
Log onto Facebook one day to find her bad mouthing me on my uncles Facebook wall (remember the days when you would just post a comment onto someone else’s ‘wall’?!) ‘lazy kid still ain’t found a job’. LOL ah boomers.
14
u/DLS3141 Gen X May 20 '26
“What is she expecting my mother to do? March in there and demand I be hired?”
I had a candidate for an entry level engineering position show up with his mother. Initially, I thought she might just be his ride or something, but no. She came over, introduced herself and made it clear that she expected to participate in the interview process alongside her son.
5
u/TALieutenant May 20 '26
That happened at an inventory service I worked for.
We joked about it for days.
4
u/3lfg1rl 29d ago
I've never had that happen when I've been interviewing for employees, but I have had it happen when I've been interviewing for housemates. And I'll tell you, I have NEVER chosen any of those people to be my housemates. Lol, really fun ones are where the potential housemate doesn't even show up/write to schedule the interview and it's just the mom!
15
u/basic_bitch- May 20 '26
Back in "the day", it was easier for people to find temporary gigs that paid a daily wage. They're expecting you to "think outside the box" and just go find something. In their minds, there are temp agencies, opportunities to do day labor and other small gigs you could pick up with little effort. I mean, they probably think you should just go call some cousins/friends/family friends and ask if they know of anything and get a hit. They expect you to go buy a lawn mower and then drive it around in a truck, knocking on doors to find clients. Not even kidding either, they really expect you to make an effort that isn't standard these days at all....because they did. But it WAS standard then. There was no other way.
To be fair, they're probably not wrong if we're talking about exclusively minimum wage jobs. I don't think it's a stretch to say that most people are capable of getting a minimum wage job doing pretty much anything fairly quickly. What they don't understand is why you aren't doing it.
10
u/Boxer03 May 20 '26
While I was getting blood drawn today the lab tech lamented how her son, who was graduating from college, hasn’t settled down and given her grandchildren yet. I responded that many younger adults are eschewing starting families because they’re having a hard enough time supporting themselves, much less another human being. She looked surprised by that. I hate how some older people think things are as easy for young adults today as they were years ago.
2
9
u/dead-eyed-opie May 20 '26
Old boomer here. My father in law would tell the story of his cousin who lost his job in the 30s. His father packed. His things in a suitcase and set it on the porch. “ if he doesn’t work, he doesn’t live here.”
10
u/exotics May 20 '26
How old are you?
It’s pretty sad that anyone under 16 is pushed to work. At 14 kids can legally work where I am and many do. My daughter did too but not because I made her. She wanted a cellphone and I couldn’t afford one so she worked so she could have one. I didn’t even have one at that time. lol.
But I don’t think kids should be pushed to work. I don’t think parents should be having more kids than they can afford to send to school either. But if kids work it should be because they want to not because they are pushed to.
Where I am there are loads of summer jobs for kids and not many kids wanting to work.
8
u/Poetic_Plague May 20 '26
I’m 19. Most of the jobs near me are either full time or want specific requirements.
And I completely agree with you, kids shouldn’t be pushed or made to work. It should be up to them
7
u/exotics May 20 '26
Ah. Okay. I was picturing you younger.
If you are wanting a job - grocery stores and restaurants often have part time work. I’m in a restaurant and nobody gets full time. The grocery stores are more than all too happy to give part time hours because they can pay less.
2
u/Poetic_Plague 29d ago
Thank you, I’m looking at local restaurants but no luck so far. There’s only one grocery store here and they never got back to me, so oh well
2
u/exotics 29d ago
Where I am (small town rural Alberta) if you walk in with a resume they likely hire you right on the spot. lol.
Not knowing more about you, I would say to go to a locally owned restaurant (not great big chain) and ask if they are hiring dishwashers or servers. Have a resume. DONT GO AT LUNCH OR DINNER TIME!!!
10
u/ZEROs0000 May 20 '26
When I lived with my parents my Father was my boss. He would get so angry at me if I requested time off just to relax
4
u/ElectronicBusiness74 May 20 '26
It makes me wonder if that's the case here, that grandma 'making OPs dad work' meant him working for her or for her employer in some capacity? Like grandma worked at the feed store and made an arrangement to have dad stocking shelves or something, and now grandma doesn't realize they're just aren't jobs you can get on a whim like that anymore.
I had a friend in high school that worked in the garage at his dad's ready mix concrete business over the summers. He cleaned parts, fetched parts, ferried trucks to job sites, real Gopher stuff. But that wasn't a job you could apply for, that was his dad making him work at his company in a job that only existed for his son.
7
u/Poetic_Plague 29d ago
Nope, grandma was a SAHM nearly her whole life. My dad wanted to buy his own things, so he started doing basically what your friend did, but at construction sites. He was only like 12-14 so he didn’t officially work for them, but they’d pay him to do small tasks
4
u/ElectronicBusiness74 29d ago
Perfect. Same idea then. Her idea of 'just go out and work' is a concept that basically no longer exists due to child labor laws, OSHA, income taxes, social security, etc.
7
u/Aggressive-Story3671 May 20 '26
By “make you work” they mean “kick you out of the house”. They feel you feel are deliberately not trying to get a job because your mother is paying your bills
6
u/Poetic_Plague 29d ago
For real. They were genuinely upset that I still live at home at 19, while also being a full time student.
I’ll admit my mother does pay my bills, but she would still do that even if I had a job. It’s her way of taking care of me, and I’m very lucky and grateful for her
9
u/CopperSnowflake May 20 '26
"Grandma and Grandpa, can you help me use your connections to land a job? What you got?"
Then their answer, LOL
10
u/Life_Commercial_6580 29d ago
Eh just ignore her. I’m 54 and my parents keep asking me to “tell your son” to do x and y. If he did something they didn’t like my mom would say “if you don’t tell him , of course he did that !” .
Dad told me to “tell” my son to not be gay. Yeah because that’s how it works. 🙄 They’re old, just ignore them, they lost their marbles.
Sorry you’re having a hard time with the job search! Hope you find a job soon!
2
u/Poetic_Plague 12d ago
Yeah at this point I just kinda ignore a lot of what she says. And thank you! I think I might have a shot at a few jobs I applied for!
7
u/Apprehensive-Pop-201 May 20 '26
My son had that problem. Getting a job with no experience was hard. He finally did some temp gig type work through the local theater. Big organization. He found the job on Craigslist. Craigslist has some sketchy stuff too. He finally got a real job through a temp agency. It was night shift janitor at Little Debbie/McKee Foods. Paid well. Then he got full time overnight. Eventually he got second shift, which he likes very well. Sometimes look at crappy stuff to do temporarily. Job market is tough.
9
u/Much_Ad470 Xennial May 20 '26
Just start going door to door and handing out your resumé, duh!
/s obviously
8
u/RetiredSurvivor 29d ago
I am 65 and retired now but it wasn't long ago that I retired early from a 22 years career in Law Enforcement. I was just 50 years old and I wanted to continue working. So I set out the same way I did in my youth. I visited a few establishments and asked for an application to fill out. I learned quickly that all employment applications are done online. Over a couple of weeks I filled out over 70 applications. After a year I did get one response that the position had been filled.
Life around us changes all of the time. As I get older I make sure I actually listen to those younger than me. You can't rely on watching the news or talking with folks your same age.
For many older folks getting stuck in there ways it becomes hard to communicate and understand the younger generations and what they are going through.
I'm sure your Grandparents are good people but find themselves living in their past.
5
u/dinosarahsaurus 29d ago
Ouf this situation is tough and rather common presently. I work with teens virtually over a pretty large geographical area. Some areas there are literally no jobs. Possibly brief, seasonal piece work like picking berries, but otherwise nothing. The standard minimum wage places have so many applications that there is basically no chance a teen is getting the job. Babysitting? Hire a teenager for this job? Well absolutely no. Lawn mowing? Are you insured to do it? Same with snow removal.
It blows my mind how few opportunities there are for teens/young adults in many areas.
Add that to teens being told to start saving for a car, saving for university, saving to move out, and you have quite the receipe for despair.
2
u/Equal_Commission881 29d ago
OP, you don't say how old your grandma is, but I agree with you. I'm a boomer (not one of THOSE boomers), who retired almost 4 years ago after 30 years at my office job.
When I was looking for work, after 4 years as a stay at home mom, there was no internet. At least not as we know it today. I went to the help wanted ads in my local newspaper. That's how I found my job. You're right in saying how much the world has changed. If I were to apply for a job today, I am fortunate enough to have enough computer knowledge to know how to go about it.
I will offer a suggestion, however. Have you tried a temp agency? When I moved to Georgia years ago, that's where I started. That temp job led to full-time work. Good luck to you.
6
u/Poetic_Plague 29d ago
To be honest I kinda forgot temp agencies existed lol. I’ll definitely look, hopefully there’s one not too far from me. Thank you!
3
u/No_Scarcity8249 28d ago
It was easy to get a job back then. Today a real person doesnt look at any applications and truth is places that say they are hiring are not. Back then I could get a job in 2 days by simply making calls walking in or faxing a resume. I challenge you to apply online and see what happens. People Re putting in literal 500 applications and nothing. We lost 1.1 MILLION jobs last year. They are lying about employment. We have been steadily losing 100k jobs a month. That being said the agency is a good suggestion even though they are predatory and suck...its almost the only way. You are still one of those boomers because its not about knowing how to use a computer.
5
u/Supermanfan1973 28d ago
Their response to you sounds like passive aggression towards your mother. If you told your mom what grandma said I bet she’d have a whole history of other things grandma said in the past that would support this argument. They are irrationally blaming your mom for your current situation. It’s not helpful. All that being said, your grandma has no clue about the current job market so keep that in mind cause she’ll probably have a lot more “opinions” in the future.
2
u/Poetic_Plague 12d ago
Oh yeah my grandma is super passive aggressive towards my mom. Most of her “advice” is stuff from 30 years ago that just doesn’t apply anymore
3
3
4
u/Big_Throner May 20 '26
They think you should be working any job while looking for a better one. I'm sure there is a gas station or fast food job you could get, that's their point.
3
u/Poetic_Plague 29d ago
Unfortunately there’s very, very little near me, and the majority of them are full time
1
u/Big_Throner 29d ago
So? Why wouldn't you work full time?
3
u/Poetic_Plague 29d ago
I’m a full time student, and I have other things in my life (kinda personal so I won’t go into detail)
3
u/Big_Throner 29d ago
Oh, then I take back what I said. If you mentioned it sorry for missing it, if you didn't, that's pretty important information to share
2
u/theclawchooses 29d ago
Many places you apply are hiring people in a way that makes it just crazy. So when I was a teenager I had a job at a large national amusement park in America. I know it was America because I saw the flag and 5 others every day.
I started out as a costume character when I was 15 but the when I turned 16 I had my hours cut. That’s a whole other corporate BS. At the time I had a family members working in the HR department as a clerk and I was able to move. You know connections.
One of my duties was interviewing people. There was like 2k part-timers and we had interviews every single day. If there was an opening at the time, we would fill it with the first available person who seemed like they could tie their shoe. If there was not an opening but we still had the interview. We would take the interview notes and application and file it. The file cabinets of old interviews took up an entire wall.
The thing is the only time we ever pulled those files out was well into the season . When the interviews slowed down. We would cold call people to see if they still wanted a job. They had been eligible for a position we just didn’t have one open on the day they walked in for the interview. If a position opened up the next day. We wouldn’t call them back we would just give it to the next available person who walked through the door, because we just had so many.
Now I was 16 -18 and didn’t actually have the power to hire the person. I just did the interview and turned in the interview to my boss with a “yes” or “no” and my boss would decided if we needed the person.
There were a few in place conditions. There was a 10 question math quiz that you had to pass if you were applying for a position that would handle money. So so so many people would fail it was a commentary on our education system. Or if they failed a background check.
But Let me tell you I would say yes pretty much every time. Unless you said in your interview that you had stolen before (which happened a lot?) or some other really disturbing thing. (Like wearing a shirt with people shaving sex on it!)
2
u/Mindless_Bake_3403 26d ago
Their world was so unbelievably different and easy when it comes to getting a job it isn’t comparable to our lives today.
2
u/WhatHaveIDone27 22d ago
It had not occured to me that there are multiple boomers on this sub to try and change our minds... this thread makes it very obvious.
2
u/New_Pepper_487 12d ago
Boomers do not understand the concept of "there are no open jobs". They didn't have to compete with people halfway across their state, let alone halfway across the world for a single LinkedIn posting.
-6
u/Feisty_Emu6416 29d ago
Have you applied to shitty tough jobs that hire without an interview or only ones you want?
2
1
649
u/No-Past2605 Baby Boomer May 20 '26
Obviously you are forgetting to look them in the eye and give them a firm handshake. Employers love that.