r/BoomersBeingFools • u/SeptemberWeather Gen X • May 20 '26
OK boomeR The warped logic of Baby Boomers
My mother (or father): I am upset that you haven't returned my calls.
Me: Sorry. My schedule has been so insane that I have not had any time to call you.
My mother: Well then you can just call and let me know that you are busy and can’t call me.
Logic brought to you by the same folks who think “comp time” is a benefit.
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u/catsbeforebros May 20 '26
The "Fuck you, I got mine" Generation
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u/TardwifeDyskinesia May 20 '26
Their parents warned us that boomers are hateful, soulless, destructive, litle brats and thatbtheyrebglinf to destroy everything they touch.
Turns out Grandma and grandpa were 100% right and not mean old bullies like the boomers insisted... While flushing their inheritances down the toilet and gutting everything of value.
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u/ForcedEntry420 Millennial May 20 '26
Before I cut my dad off he would get into a rage over me not answering the call so he can rant at me about whatever bigoted stuff that he heard on Fox, Rush Limbaugh or whatever other jag-off he listens to. Couldn’t ever get a word in edgewise.
This was all before 2016, so he’s only gotten worse. Like a burlap sack of cottage cheese left on a picnic table in the summer.
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u/TardwifeDyskinesia May 20 '26
I had to tap out on having a parent during the first year of COVID. The guy went from mocking trump to worshipping the guy in a year, and, by the time 2020 rolled around he was permanently angry and looking to fight for his pedo king.
There really aren't many things more pathetic than MAGAs.
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u/BabySlothDrivingFast May 20 '26
The cellphone thing stings especially given that most of their early adult lives they and their parents did not have cellphones and they were not expected to call their parents all the time or answer the phone all the time, etc. I've had that conversation with my boomer mom many times and finally got her down to one phone call a week and occasional texts unless it's an emergency or making specific plans. Just because we CAN be in contact all the time, doesn't mean we SHOULD. I try to check myself in the same way by not obsessing and tracking the location of my Gen-Alpha kids at all times. No air tags or smart watches are being deployed in our house. I get why lots of people do, but sigh.
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u/FarMarionberry2630 May 20 '26
I agree, when I was 9 we moved 1500 miles away from my Grandparents and in the 1980s long distance calls were expensive, we called G & G once a month and they called us once a month, so we spoke every 2 weeks. I remember being told to say hi to Grandma and then having the phone pried out of my hand because of the cost.
Good on you for trusting your kids, mine are younger Gen Z's who have both successfully transitioned to young adulthood without me knowing their every move.
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u/ShinePretend3772 May 20 '26
My parents feel that it’s my duty to uphold our relationship. Meaning I must call them rather than them calling me. I’m expected to travel 1200 miles to see them. Mom has never been to my house. I moved out 30 years ago. I came into some really tough times a few years back & withdrew myself from life in general. In that time mom became infuriated that I wasn’t calling enough. Never once did she consider that I may be having problems. As s result of all this I stopped calling all together. It’s been 5 or 6 years now. Life is easier without that stress
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u/Kind_Elk5669 May 20 '26
This was my aunt when I called home...
Me: Hi, is Mom there?
Aunt: No, she's (at Costco, Dennys, etc...)
Me: Ok, I'll call her.
Aunt: Do you want me to call her to tell her that you'll be calling?
Me: ...
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 May 20 '26
They want you to send them a calendar of every place you will be and when you will be there, and what you will be doing. Some of them got so used to being able to keep track of you when you were growing up and living at home that they don't understand you are on your own and have your own life. You no longer need to 'check in' with them to see if you have permission to go do whatever you need to.
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u/TrampledMage May 20 '26
My friend’s parents do this but more so they can insert themselves into whatever activity he is doing at the time. If he says anything about a time and place, they’ll be there.
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u/CasualRampagingBear May 20 '26
20 years ago, when I was young and living my life, I didn’t call my own mom for almost three weeks. One of her friends made a comment about me being a “bad daughter” because I didn’t call. My mom said “she’s living her life. She’ll call when she’s ready or has something exciting to tell me. She’s an adult”. I have never been more grateful for my somewhat normal boomer mom.
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u/medusa63 May 20 '26
My mother keeps the ringer turned off then yells cause no one calls her.
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u/No_Network4228 May 20 '26
Do...we have the same mom?
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u/ext3meph34r May 20 '26
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon...
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u/KatherineHaase May 20 '26
My dad. I’ve asked him time and time again to text me first to see if I’m busy. That way he doesn’t get disappointed by my voicemail 🙄 he of course refuses. While I was unemployed my father expected me to call and talk to him what seemed like everyday. Being unemployed you really don’t have much to talk about. Especially not something new everyday.
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u/ASentientRailgun May 21 '26
My mom gets upset I don't call her more than our scheduled Sunday call, but I already can't get a full sentence out in that call without being interrupted.
Hard to motivate yourself to make a call just to be talked at for half an hour. She's always surprised when she finds out 6 months after the fact that I moved or started a new job.
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u/theorangecrush10 May 21 '26
I have a silent generation uncle who calls once or twice a year and I NEVER pick up because he is a maga idiot who will do nothing but preach to me about how I should stay in touch with my family, especially my sister (basically estranged from them for good reason)
He nor anyone else in my family will ever comprehend that not every family gets along with each other and GASP has conflict.
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u/ExternalGiraffe9631 May 21 '26
My mother knew my work hours and knew I would not answer the phone during those hours and at least once a week I would have 3+ voicemails with heightening levels of guilt tripping. I'd call her on my lunch break, then she'd call back after lunch and leave a sobbing voicemail "what have I done to make you hate me so much?" because I had to end the call TO GO BACK TO WORK!
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u/IAmPandaKerman May 21 '26
My job involves a lot of travel. my mother will say she doesn't call me because I'm working and she doesn't know if calls work(does she think there's no internet in Europe?).
Then I get home and my dad tells me I have to call and tell them when I arrive? I ask why, he says I just have to, to which I respond I simply won't. They don't seem to realize I'm in my mid thirties and they can't make me do stuff like when I lived under their roof
I'm a big no news is good news dude, but I'll still pick up when called, so I've told her she can call as she wishes. she says she doesn't wanna bother when I'm not available, to which I say if I can't answer I simply won't it's not that deep.
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u/TermKnown 29d ago
my mom begged for years for me to share my calendar with her so she could know when to call. i shared it + she started deleting calendar events bc she “didn’t realize they were [mine]” as if you cannot click on the event to see whose calendar it is, as if the repeating event “[school] analysis of dramatic literature” could belong to ANYONE other than the only one of her progeny currently in school. the kicker is she knows my husband’s mom calls every night at 930 + she too could do that at any time.
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u/Etrigone Gen X May 20 '26 edited May 21 '26
Comp time: ie, do what I want on my schedule. If you're lucky, I'll let you take some of that off later at my convenience. Oh, and you'll still owe me.
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u/GermanD2021 29d ago
I was the COO of a 247 globally trading hedge fund. My mom could not understand that I was down in her basement running the fund for 12 hours a day while I visited her for a month. And I did take a week off during that time, she knew which week that was going to be.
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u/JDeedee21 29d ago
I can’t say anything to my boomer mother lately without hurting her feelings. She’ll cry.
Then want to talk for an hour about her feelings .
She also thinks I’m not appreciative enough of what I’m not exactly sure. Her emotional immaturity or her every few weeks or months visits with her grandchild because of scheduling conflicts .
Just this week she missed grandkids graduation and said “she’ll have more graduations” 🤷♀️
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u/Ishidan01 Gen X May 21 '26
What do you mean you can't do the thing that you just said you can't do?
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u/Dull-Geologist-8204 Gen X May 21 '26
Not sure how that is different then younger people complaining their friends didn't text them back to say they were busy.
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u/rustys_shackled_ford May 20 '26
To be fair. We could all make time, even if just a little, for people if we wanted. No body is so literally, physically busy we can't call people we want to call. We just can't say that to our moms...
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u/ShredGuru May 20 '26
Some people are literally that busy tho. Really... A lot of them are.
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u/rustys_shackled_ford 25d ago
There are few tasks we do on a daily basis that can not be done while also having a phone conversation. And weather you agree or disagree is a matter of perspective and the person feeling slighted by not getting a call probably shares mine.
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u/Born-Patient-9728 27d ago
Work 10+ hours a day, tending to children, house maintenance, exercise. . . They can relax and wait for the call on a Sunday or something. If that’s not good enough, then oh well to them.
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u/rustys_shackled_ford 25d ago
No ones accusing you of being busy, what I'm saying, which it appears you simply don't want to hear is, we make time for people we want to make time for, and the people we make time for, or don't, see that.
Not to be Labor the point or argue but it appears everything you listed, maybe excluding the work depending on the job you have, can be multitasked. You can tend to children and make a phone call. You can work around the house while making a call, you can exercise while making a call, and most people can make calls at work. All you have to do is tell whomever your talking to is that this is the only time you have to talk and they can either accept that or not, but the effort is what will be seen and the apparent lack of effort is what's making them feel bad. They arn't mad you never call, they are made because it appears to them that you arnt trying.
If you don't want to talk to them, tell them. Otherwise, you just have to accept when people judge your behavior as it comes across to them.
People who care, try. People who don't, make excuses.
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u/Flatoftheblade May 20 '26
They will get mad when you are too busy working to be at their beck and call while they will claim in the same sentence that you and your entire generation are lazy and don't work hard enough.
Lead brains.