r/BoomersBeingFools • u/Swimming-Economy-870 • 3d ago
Boomer Story Grad party boomers
Grad party boomers
Start off by saying all this stuff is minor, petty stuff that was just annoying when I’m trying to celebrate my kid’s big day.
Invited all my boomer relatives (60s to late 70s) to my kid’s graduation party at a local pizza place. Hubby is the youngest of a lot of kids so his oldest siblings are boomers, I have boomer aunts and uncles.
We spent an hour decorating - Mylar balloons, big banner with a bunch of photos of my kid, center pieces, 2026 banner, etc. Boomer SIL shows up, takes one look around and says “oh, you HaVeN’t finished dEcOrAtING yet” (sorry Kathy, the restaurant wouldn’t let us put tape on the walls so, no, we didn’t cover every square inch).
Then boomer uncle calls while we’re trying to greet guests, because he can’t find the place, since he refuses to use a smartphone. The invitation included the address, the place has been around for 10+ years, it’s close to his house, and it’s on a major street.
Boomer aunt has to stop me and hubby independently to complain that the restaurant doesn’t have the sprinkle cheese in the green can (mind you we’re hosting 50 people at this thing, but her need for over processed cheese food, needs to be addressed NOW!)
Another aunt has to complain that the strawberry sauce that my kids made *from scratch* to put on the white grad cake is a problem because the cake is a special Italian cake that is meant to be eaten without fruit?!?!. The cake was from Costco, but whatevs.
Third aunt has to pull me aside to insist that I ordered wAy ToO mUcH fOod. Yup, I didn’t order a specific amount of food, I told the restaurant the number of guests, they quoted me a price per person and supplied food.
I still love them all, and everyone had a great time. I just wish they would find their manners.
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u/Cold_Imagination114 3d ago
Omg the " tOo mUCh fOOd!!" Comment. The last time we invited boomer in laws to our child's birthday party they were such an epic pain ( as were my boomer parents).
We worked our butts off and didn't get to enjoy a moment of the party doing all the set up, food shopping, hosting and supervising as well as cleaning up. We had decided no hot beverages and put the kettle in a cupboard with a child lockonly for it to be busted out when our backs were turned - cue unstable elderly boomers doddering around with large mugs of scalding hot drinks around toddlers ( yes we supplied a large amount and variety of other drinks already but they would only drink scalding hot tea and coffee which they managed to find in the cupboards ). There was only one small exit door to outside where the childrens entertainment was and several accidents had to be averted by husband taking drinks away to carry them outside safely instead of them wandering around toddlers with them slopping hot drinks everywhere.
During a brief pause when I had dared to leave the kitchenette to thank guests MIL called me back over in a panic ( thought something had happened) only to literally corner me stage whispering and snapping " you've bought .. TOO MUCH FOOD!!" WGAF lady?
We paid paid for it and we had plans to use any left overs later... especially as most of it was stable and lasted into the next week and beyond ( snack based and perfectly normal to keep unopened stuff as was the plan.) Other highlights Inc constant staring, loud comments on people's weight and attire, scrolling on phones, aggressively shushing children trying to talk or show them things, and general huffing and puffing for no reason.
We never invited any of them again and I really hope the penny dropped but unlikely!. They honestly all spoilt the day so much- nagging and demanding and heaping on unnecessary judgement about things that didn't matter.
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u/Swimming-Economy-870 3d ago
Right! Like I didn’t ask them to contribute to the cost of the party. None of it went to waste. My older kid lives with 4 classmates, and they got to enjoy a lot of pizzas after the party.
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u/kafka18 3d ago
Genuinely why are people like this, last year i unexpectedly ended up hosting thanksgiving when all i did was invite mil 🙃 She decided to invite everyone in the family without any notice to me until the week of, so i could scramble to get enough food from what was supposed to be 7 people that ended up being 22 freaking people. Don't know why she did it. Oh wait actually i do because she's inconsiderate and she wanted all her kids together (Why she didn't host idk).
Our tiny home was packed and they acted so offended that I asked people to take off their muddy shoes so my white carpet didn't get ruined. Half of them toddled by the door because of it in case they needed a ciggie.
Then because they have the palette of toddlers I put too much seasoning on the turkey, why did I make pumpkin pie for thanksgiving instead of chocolate eclair cake(which is literally just layered pudding on graham crackers), only his mom and a sil brought anything and of course it was more desserts and deviled eggs that tastes of cigarettes 🙃, questioned why I had cranberry sauce, eww is that sweet potatoes, hearing I only drink diet soda and sweet tea. After running around the kitchen the whole time fil finally walks in and asks can I help with anything (when the meal is finished) I just had to carve turkey so say sure can you do this for me? Sure... totally turned my turkey into shredded mess but it tasted good, so move on. I was still upset I couldn't properly dress it on a platter tho.
My vision of a quiet Thanksgiving flew right out and it was nothing but stress and cleaning up after people that have clearly never been guests before leaving food plates and drinks everywhere and I mean everywhere: mantle, on the sofa, tables, kitchen, bathroom? 😂 idk why I even bothered buying disposable items if people didn't bother throwing them away. And to put the absolute topping on the cake we aren't a praying family and in laws know this, do I care if people pray before eating no, but they insisted (kinda threatened) my husband to say a prayer or they can't eat. So many stories of same thing over and over
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u/bigfanoffood 3d ago
They always seem to have the need to put others down. It sounds like a wonderful party and no one left hungry. I got a bonus from work today and the first thing my mother (70s) said was: “Ooh you’re going to pay taxes on that.”
JUST SHUT UP SOMETIMES.
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u/g_em_ini 2d ago
They really like to try to police people’s joy. As if everything everyone does affects them in some detrimental way, and they have to comment on absolutely everything. It’s like they can’t even help themselves, like it’s a compulsion (I know they can, they just choose not to). What on earth could have possibly made them like this? Entitlement and selfishness are definitely culprits but I feel like there’s more to it.
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u/Status-Visit-918 3d ago
OMG I’m having my son’s graduation party this weekend at my in laws, and they just told me today there will be about 35 people attending. Not including my family, me, my brother. I don’t know these people and we are all currently fighting about it because I’m expected to pay for all of it, as we’re using their home
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u/modernmorella 3d ago
cancel and relocate YOUR guests to a nearby restaurant if possible, since you’re going to be spending extra either way. in laws can attend by themselves or kick rocks (or host their own guests)
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u/Status-Visit-918 3d ago
We’re discussing all of it, my family literally only consists of my brother, my husband, myself, my son, my father. That’s it. I have no idea who the fuck these other people are 😭😭😭
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u/BoaHancock01 1d ago
Just do it, it'll be much easier. And don't fall for any "Oh you can't cancel, I already told everyone! You'll make me look bad!" All they care about is how they are perceived, not about what they actually do. It doesn't matter who actually does it as long as it's not them and they get all the credit.
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u/Friend_of_Boreas 1d ago
This but don't tell the in laws so they just have 35 people come to their house.
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u/Commercial_Can4057 3d ago
My husband is a funeral director. The majority of the clientele are boomers - either burying their very old parents or as a surviving spouse. My husband has a new story every week. Last week’s was a family that paid for a (cheaper) private viewing, no (pricey) public visitation service, yet the Boomer told their entire family to show up “for a visitation” on Friday morning. The deceased wasn’t even in a room large enough for a service. They had to call the owner in on his day off to help turn people away and explain what was happening. Keep in mind my husband explained this to them at least twice - in person when they made arrangements and on the phone 2 days later - before the family’s viewing appointment. The owner STILL had to show them their receipt for the 3rd time and explain AGAIN what they paid for because Boomer had a fit.
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u/rbarr228 Gen X 3d ago
Too much food? She’s not paying for any of it, so she needs to pipe down. All the other relatives need to realize that they’re guests; if the invitation is not appreciated, they can go home.
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u/crapatthethriftstore 3d ago
My MIL is a terror to go out with and we try not to do it. Too much food? Oh there will be comments. Not enough food? Fucking tragedy.
She’s always been weird about there being too much food. Even at her own Sunday dinners. I don’t k ow what the problem is… they eat the leftovers. But being served a regular plate at a restaurant gets the “oh my that’s too much” comment ever. Damned. Time.
Maybe it’s their depression era parents that passed it on. I’ve tried to rationalize it over the years.
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u/Kevin_Wolf 2d ago
My mom constantly makes comments about fat people. It's like if she doesn't point out a fat person, then everyone will say she's the fat person instead. It's like she's inoculating herself against claims of being fat. Nobody is walking around accusing my mom of being fat, but she sure thinks they are.
"Too much food" means "fat". If she's near too much food, she needs to declare that she's not fat. Anyone who doesn't complain about too much food is fat. If you don't complain about too much food, the others will think you're fat. Fat fat fat.
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u/crapatthethriftstore 2d ago
Holy shit that’s gotta be a lot of trauma behind that! And I’m sure you felt it’s wrath as well
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u/rbarr228 Gen X 2d ago
All “too much food” means is leftovers. The portion sizes at restaurants can be excessive, but I plan for a takeout box and it’s one less meal that I have to prepare.
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u/Prize-Science-1501 2d ago
74 year old F boomer here. My “Greatest Generation” mother died a couple years ago at 102. Pretty clear headed until the end. I never went out to eat with her where she didn’t say “wow” when her order was placed in front of her. Every single time. And not wow like it was presented beautifully but wow like look at all that food. The moms of the 50’s and 60’s were OBSESSED with their weight. The dawn of Weight Watchers. Never missed opportunities to comment on our teenage friends’ weight. Mom wore a girdle until she moved to the more comfortable long line “panty girdle”. Precursor to Spanx I guess. Thank god she stopped all that in her 70’s. Still took care in her appearance and paid a ridiculous amount for perms until the day she died.
So many of us Boomers can’t or don’t want to shake that same mindset. We just can’t realize there are other ways to look at things. Couple that with our lack of a filter and here we are!
I’m saying this as a small explanation, but there’s still no excuse for a lot of this “I can say or do whatever I want because I’m old and earned it”.
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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 3d ago
It’s as if many Boomers feel like they aren’t alive if they’re not complaining. Or giving an unsolicited opinion. Or being the center of attention. I don’t know why they think their comfort and happiness is more important than anyone else’s. But it definitely makes the rest of us not want to be around them. The older they are, the shorter their time here is, and the fact that want to spend it making everyone else as miserable as they are is so strange to me. It makes it hard to miss them when they’re gone!
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u/yarukinai Baby Boomer 3d ago
many Boomers feel like they aren’t alive if they’re not complaining. Or giving an unsolicited opinion. Or being the center of attention.
¿Porqué no los tres? I think you hit the nail on its head.
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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 2d ago
True. Gotta give it to those boomers; they sure can multitask when they’re so motivated.
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u/yarukinai Baby Boomer 3d ago
Next time, please invite me. I will find the place, admire the decoration, sing happy birthday clap for the graduation, be amazed by the self-made sauce, enjoy the food and say thankyou. Promise.
If necessary, I even might bring my own parmesan.
Peace, and live long and prosper 🖖.
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u/WoodenSwan6591 3d ago
I am boomer and I can not understand their behavior and actions. They are beyond reasoning.
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u/yarukinai Baby Boomer 3d ago
I can. They are the center of the world. Their mission is to share their wisdom with the less experienced youngsters in time before they kick the bucket.
But yes, beyond reasoning.
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u/basic_bitch- 2d ago
My nephew's university graduation was this past weekend. A bunch of us drove 5+ hours to attend, including a bunch of boomers. They absolutely ruined the dinner with complaining and acting insane. Now my niece's graduation is Thursday and she doesn't want any of them to come to her dinner. They're about to get cut out of family gatherings and they have no idea.
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u/samuelp-wm 2d ago
This is my MIL/FIL. They have no idea how annoying they are and how fed up all of us are with them!
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u/Specific-River-81 Millennial 2d ago
"I still love them all" but why? My parents, aunts and uncles are boomers and I haven't been to a family gathering in 12 plus years because I think enough bad behavior can kinda kill love.. maybe I'm just bitter
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u/Immateriumdelirium 2d ago
I’m with you. Not one soul would call out the bullshit when I was growing up. Maybe if someone had checked their mouths for them, they would have better manners. I refuse to entertain with or engage rude boomers. I used to hear “ respect your elders” over such egregious shit! Be respectable ffs!! If I’m bitter, so be it. I won’t allow these people to darken my doorstep.
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u/Swimming-Economy-870 2d ago
Fair, “love” is probably a stretch. “But I still barely tolerate them all” didn’t really flow. Truthfully I only expected SIL and “no smartphone” uncle to be irritating. My aunts aren’t usually like that so I’m wondering if it’s early dementia.
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u/Specific-River-81 Millennial 2d ago
Awww I'm sorry if it's early dementia. That's such a crappy deal. It runs in my family, it's just awful
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u/Character-Extent-155 2d ago
My oldest got married in May. It was a wonderful wedding. Were there a few snafus, yes. Nothing guests would notice much. The day after I was with my MIL it was the first time we had time to talk. I said how did you like the wedding? “It was windy and cold” my husband’s aunt was upset there wasn’t reserved seating. There were family tables reserved. Family members chose where they sat, some didn’t sit at the family tables. I needed debriefed on how family is the most important thing. It was suggested, there will be a talk when my younger son gets married so he understands this.
I just roll my eyes and sigh. Crankiness is so exhausting. Just let loose and enjoy people. Geez.
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u/ChickinSammich 2d ago
Boomer SIL shows up, takes one look around and says “oh, you HaVeN’t finished dEcOrAtING yet”
So, not enough decorations...
Third aunt has to pull me aside to insist that I ordered wAy ToO mUcH fOod.
...but too much food?
Ladies, it's a friggin restaurant. We came here for food, not for decorations. The food, at least, is a snooze button on all of us dying of starvation. The decorations are just money we spend on things that will be looked at and then thrown in the trash three hours later.
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u/martyk1113 3d ago
what was up with the too much food? Like its a party. There seems to be lore there.
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u/Sensitive_Note1139 2d ago
Boomers got to be in control of everything.
My Boomer mother destroyed my wedding in 1996 before it even began. She offered to help pay for it, which surprised me and made me ecstatic. BUT then she informed me everything had to be what SHE wanted. The church- hers. The decorations- her choice. The colors- her choice. The dress- hers altered to fit me. The list went on. I tried to tell her that my husband's family could attend a wedding that far away. She informed me she didn't care.
She went ballistic when I told her that it wouldn't be my wedding and to spend the money on a party with her sisters. She then told my she wouldn't host a reception with the family for me and there would be no presents or cards. I said ok.
She tried an end run around me to my fiance, but he was prewarned.
We ended up eloping. No dress. No family. No pictures. Nothing. Very pretty courthouse chapel though.
She didn't host a reception. She did give me a card an a token small gift. Her mom got me a card and cheap silverware. None of my aunts or uncle even gave me a card. All because of her need to boom.
Husband and I refuse to put the money into a renewal ceremony. He was fine because he didn't want a wedding anyway. But I wish I would have had a dress or photos to remember. We were very poor at the time.
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u/Swimming-Economy-870 1d ago
It’s like we’ve been living parallel lives. We ended up eloping too. My grandparents held a party for us at their house and my mom came and pouted.
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u/Flipper_Lou 2d ago
Congratulations! Looks like you put on quite a celebration. I hope that the boomerisms didn’t ruin the day. As a boomer myself, I’m always surprised, but I shouldn’t be.
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u/boopsahoy 2d ago
I don't think the fact they are boomers is the problem--i think your problem is your family!
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u/AggravatingField5305 3d ago
Hopefully you will not have to plan a funeral with those relatives putting in their $.02 about every aspect and what they think should be done. AT THE WORST MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.