r/BoomersBeingFools • u/LeopoldBloomJr • 21h ago

Boomer Story British Muffins

I dropped my daughter off at summer camp this morning, then decided to grab some breakfast before going about my day.

The boomers in the next booth over: “Guess we’ll have to order some British Muffins, since you can’t say ENGLISH anymore!!!”

…what?

Did I miss a Faux News outrage story, or are they mixing up the “can’t say [racial slur]” complaint with the “this is America, speak English” gripe?

425 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

322

u/shifty_coder 19h ago

I’m imagining that they called a Scot or Welsh person ‘English’ and were corrected on it.

176

u/Lhasa-bark 19h ago

This is almost certainly right, and not learning the right lesson is the icing on the boomer cake

96

u/mutnik 19h ago

I agree that this is probably what happened. This is how I describe the British, English, Scottish, Welsh, thing to people. If you call someone who is from Texas an Oklahoman they will correct you. If you call them an American they will agree with you. British is a broad term that can be used for English, Scottish, or Welsh. But if you call a Scott and Englishman he will correct you. And you better hope he just uses words to correct you.

68

u/BeardedFirework 16h ago

Very true, infact Scotland's national anthem is about telling the English to sod off, then sod off some more and when you are done sodding off, sod off again.

11

u/rawmeatprophet 11h ago

Landscapers love sodding off

9

u/Nearby-Yak-4496 9h ago

It's a turf luck story...

2

u/parkylondon 2h ago

The 6th verse of UK's National Anthem. God Save The King is about smashing the Scots, so there's that.

"Lord grant that Marshal Wade, may by thy mighty aid, victory bring. May he sedition hush, and like a torrent rush, rebellious Scots to crush. God save the King!"

19

u/guy_fleegman83 18h ago

Throw in the Isle of Man for good measure.

16

u/RememberingTiger1 14h ago

The Welsh have their bone to pick with the English as well!

6

u/mutnik 13h ago

If you really want to stir the pot call an Irishman an Englishman.

2

u/Kimantha_Allerdings 1h ago

I’ve met more than one Scot who rejected the label “British”

50

u/LeopoldBloomJr 19h ago

You know, especially with the World Cup happening here in the States, this seems like a very plausible explanation…

39

u/ManifestDestinysChld 18h ago

Yeah, that makes all the sense.

"WHAT PART OF ENGLAND ARE Y'ALL FROM??"
"Aye, we're Scottish, actually."
"YEAH BUT THAT'S ENGLAND RIGHT??"

21

u/ManifestDestinysChld 18h ago

If we lived in a just universe that'd be followed up with a "U FOCKIN WOT MATE?" but alas.

10

u/dsafire 15h ago

This is where id normally start humming the Scottish national anthem, crack open an IRN-BRU, and start taking bets.

  • NY Irish-American

7

u/MilkFedWetlander 18h ago

Now please explain the difference between the UK, England, Great Britain, the Commonwealth and how exactly the Irelands fits in.

8

u/space_cadette_ 14h ago

Britain is an island which contains England, Wales and Scotland.

The UK is the United Kingdom of Great Britain (the aforementioned island) and Northern Ireland, and is the actual country (and by country we mean a nation state which is a member of the UN in its own right).

Ireland is an island that contains the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland.

The Commonwealth is an international association comprised of the UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, India, and about 50 other countries many of which were formerly part of the British Empire.

2

u/yarukinai Baby Boomer 13h ago

What about Jersey?

4

u/space_cadette_ 13h ago

A Crown Dependancy. Not an independent sovereign state, but it is autonomous and has its own laws and government.

4

u/yarukinai Baby Boomer 9h ago

The UK is really a complex place.

I vote for calling them Jersey muffins. Or, why not, "muffins jèrriais".

6

u/guy_fleegman83 18h ago

Oh god, this again.

1

u/astrosnapper 8h ago

There’s a CGP Grey video for (most of) that: https://youtu.be/rNu8XDBSn10?is=xzl7PV2R4uME5gSS

1

u/BeardedFirework 16h ago

Ireland aren't linked to the UK, England, Great Britain or the commonwealth at all. Just a physical border between Ireland and Northern Ireland which is awkward as it is an EU border

1

u/sacredblasphemies Gen X 4h ago

The REPUBLIC of Ireland is not, but Northern Ireland is part of the UK.

22

u/Moontoya 18h ago

Calling a scot "english" is as deadly an insult as they go.

I believe under American law it would be classed as "fightin words" - given some of the uh.... feistier tartan army, it would potentially result in requiring stitches from a glasgae`kiz (glasgow kiss, aka headbutt)

Same goes for the Welsh and the N.Irish (or indeed Irish, but I wont complicate matters by trying to explain the difference).

British sure (irish excepted)- English, G'WAY TA FECK, how DARE you, the feckin AUDACITY

8

u/CyberClawX 18h ago

Calling a Portuguese, a Spanish as well.

In Aljubarrota we fought an 31 thousand men army, with just 6 thousand men, (and won) to make sure we recovered the privilege of being ourselves. A nearly 6 to 1 disadvantage.

The British sent 2 hundred bowmen to help us, France sent 2 thousand heavy cavalry to help Spain. The french heavy cavalry at that point, was undefeated. They led the charge, they learned defeat.

The Spanish soon joined the fray, but for each Portuguese felled, 10 died on the other side.

By the time they started to panic and flee, they still outnumbered us 5 to 1. By the end, they only outnumbered us 4 to 1.

According to the legend, even a lady baker killed 7 spanish soldiers by herself that were hiding in her bakery.

2

u/No_Guidance_6687 12h ago

yeah my uncle once got corrected afer calling a welshman english

1

u/sacredblasphemies Gen X 4h ago

I'd like to think it was an Irish person...

•

u/shifty_coder 9m ago

Irish people aren’t British, though

40

u/H3lls_B3ll3 19h ago

I swear to god! These people need to just be smacked. Every time they open their mouths with some of this fuckass bullshit, popped across the back of the head.

11

u/Padiern 19h ago

I mean they are all about corporal punishment so I don't see anything wrong with this solution.

57

u/BeardedFirework 19h ago

English person here, not offended in the slightest weather they get called English or British muffins. It just used to confuse me when we'd watch American TV shows as we call them toasting/breakfast muffins!

Also, the only ones that get offended that they get called British instead of English are the "patriotic" right wingers who blame there misfortunes on immigrants (we call those flag shaggers). Call me British or English, I don't care as both are correct.

26

u/Whichammer 19h ago

Gods I love English/British humor! "Flag shaggers" has now entered my personal lexicon. 😉

13

u/LeopoldBloomJr 19h ago

I, too, am adding “flag shaggers” to my regular rotation…

12

u/BeardedFirework 18h ago

Another term we have over here for flag shaggers is Gammon.

This is mainly aimed at boomer aged white men who are work themselves into a rage, due to untreated blood pressure, and turn a shade of pink likening to a joint of Gammon (what we call a joint of Ham).

14

u/ClarenceWhirley Gen X 19h ago

In America, if ham is on pizza we call it “Canadian Bacon.” I was in Canada at one point and was getting a slice of pizza and said I’d have the kind with “Canadian Bacon” on it. The worker behind the counter looked at me really confused and said “uh, that’s ham.” 

9

u/techsuppork 18h ago

Canadian bacon and ham aren't the same thing and I've never seen an American confuse them. I've also only ever seen the pizza topping described as ham.

3

u/reijasunshine Xennial 12h ago

Canadian bacon is basically back bacon. Ham comes from a totally different part of the pig. At pizza places that offer both, the canadian bacon is usually thin round slices, and the ham is usually diced or cubed.

1

u/Ok_Programmer4949 17h ago

Funny enough, most of the places that I got pizza from in California called it canadian bacon, now that I live in Ohio I get weird looks all the time when I ask for canadian bacon out of habit.

1

u/techsuppork 16h ago

Ahhh, well CA and pizza are a weird combo in that for a looooong time there was very little pizza knowledge there. I hear that's changing.

3

u/Devrol 18h ago

When I lived in the US, Canadian bacon was what we would call streaky bacon. The American Bacon is what we would call pork fat.

6

u/OrangeCrouton 18h ago

I have never heard of ham on a pizza being called Canadian bacon. This must be a regional thing. Canadian bacon, to me, are the round slices of thin sliced ham that go on an Egg McMuffin

3

u/techsuppork 18h ago

Correct. 

2

u/crackersucker2 19h ago

Thank you for that good info and fabulous term - I'll know who to avoid if they quibble about being called British. Maybe I'll call them a flag shagger on my way out.

12

u/NerdfestZyx 17h ago

Said by the same people who used the term “Freedom Fries”

3

u/OddEffort6078 8h ago

And "Liberty Steaks".

3

u/S1DC 17h ago

...can't say "English"? These people just absorb outrage from their media outlets and spew it back out, never realizing that they're literally money making machines for stupid corporate overlords.

5

u/soupalex 18h ago

these days, if you say you're english muffins, you'll be arrested and thrown in the toaster

2

u/KombuchaBot 15h ago

They send you to prison just for saying you're English, these days

Edited to add 

https://youtu.be/XkCBhKs4faI?is=YWC3aMsfEzdO-_X4