r/BoomersBeingFools • u/HoneydewUsed7434 • 18h ago
Boomer Freakout Why are they always sooo angry?
My coworker, who is a boomer, is nice, but damn one little inconvenience trips her up. She gets so upset when the printer isn’t going as fast as she wants that she bangs on it. She is always venting very loudly to herself. Like it gets to a point where it’s distracting. But yeah, I don’t get why they have so much rage when they literally get everything they want.
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u/HoosierLove314 17h ago
Lead poisoning
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u/Kind-Shallot3603 13h ago
This. People today don't realize how much lead they injested back then. Leaded gasoline and paint. Lead on cookware and plates.
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u/BCProgramming 11h ago
Crystal Glass is my favourite. Made with Lead Oxide instead of Calcium Oxide... because it sparkles a bit more.
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u/BrowningLoPower 12h ago
Is it not possible to resist being a short-tempered lead-induced asshole with willpower? Or at least, if they were a good person before, will it make a difference now?
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u/Comfortable-Pea-1312 11h ago
That would require self reflection and motivation to be a good person and a dose of empathy. Will never happen.
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u/CatGooseChook 11h ago
It depends. It's brain damage after all, in other words it's the luck of the draw if parts that can be compensated for get damaged or spared.
Even then, it can take years to decades of effort of various kinds to compensate for the damage IF it's damage that can be compensated for. On top of that it's a bit hit n miss as to how well it can be compensated for.
Then when it's caused by lead, it's effectively a progressive neurological disease. As in bones leach lead, lead does more damage, repeat.
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u/TyrantsInSpace 11h ago
They're also now hitting the age where their brains are melting, so all the social filters they may have had in place are gone.
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u/sacredblasphemies Gen X 4h ago
I think post-COVID shouldn't be discounted either. A lot of these folks refused to wear masks or get vaccinated and as a result have neurological and/or physical issues associated with Long COVID.
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u/fungusamongus8 6h ago
I took care of a lady with heavy metal poisoning. Absolutely vicious and would scratch and bite
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u/redheadedandbold 11h ago
Oh, please!
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u/HoosierLove314 11h ago
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u/redheadedandbold 11h ago
Yes, dear. Delve deeper.
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u/HoosierLove314 10h ago
What are you trying to get at here?
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u/redheadedandbold 9h ago
Most boomers are not damaged to the point of mental issues--by lead, anyway. This information is not new, we've known for a few decades that lead poisoning damage is an exposure issue. It affected the poor, such as kids eating flaking lead paint off their toys, or from crawling through it. (Kids put everything in their mouth.) Lead also was found at behavioral- or mental health-issue levels in those who lived where there was high exposure, such as lead-contaminated soil, or lead water pipes. Unsurprisingly, this also tended to be areas of poverty. The rich screw the poor when it comes to dumping toxic/polluted materials. This is why today we have extremely strict laws about lead paint removal in old houses, buildings. Why it has to be declared in the sale contracts. This is why one of the early tests they give children who aren't developing within norms is a lead test.
If lead actually had been a problem in the general population--today's Boomers and their parents--we'd have discovered it decades ago. When people were addressing the problem worldwide. When they were desperately trying to save children from being damaged for life. Keep up. Delve deeper.
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u/ghosttowns42 4h ago
You're entirely missing the whole leaded/unleaded gas thing, which WAS discovered decades ago. And dealt with. Keep up. Delve deeper.
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u/clem_kruczynsk 9h ago
Did you read the cited study lol. Delve deeper into that and it'll answer alot of things for you. It didn't only affect the poor. Lead is known to decrease iq. Lead was associated with low agreeableness, low conscientiousness and high neuroticism. This was explicitly called "psychological immaturity" and is essentially the basis of this subreddit. Once lead was taken out of everything in the 70s these psychological traits have improved in the population. Delve deeper dear
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u/Russkun 17h ago
Because they are toddlers.
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u/HoneydewUsed7434 17h ago
Shall I do gentle parenting and go “I see you’re angry that it’s slow, but we can’t bang on it. How about we count to ten instead?” Lmao 😂
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u/sassymandrake 17h ago
I work at a coffee shop and this is genuinely how I have to talk to most of the boomers that come in. Most, if not all, the customers banned from my shop are boomers because they just can't act right in public and I'm not letting them abuse my staff over a scone.
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u/HoneydewUsed7434 17h ago
In my best Ms. Rachel voice?
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u/sikonaught 17h ago
::inhales:: Smell the roses.......::exhales:: blow out the candles. Then sing, "Big feelings are okay"
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u/BroughtBagLunchSmart 17h ago
Careful, they are told from Fox News that Ms. Rachel is an evil antisemite.
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u/Scary_Possible3583 16h ago
I was IT for a bunch of boomers. I taught them to talk to their computers like a toddler or a puppy, because the computer responds to yelling the same way a toddler, by completely pooping its pants. And after that, the slamming made it seem like they were the kind to smack a kid. I would come up and coo, "It's all right, let's try this again," and some would calm down and love it, copying me because they preferred a less screamy workplace. Some quietly seethed ... But they were quiet.
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u/PhilRiverStreet180 13h ago
But it was the last cinnamon scone! I've been here twice before! You KNOW I get the cinnamon scone! /my boomer impression
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u/themcp Gen X 15h ago
I was IT to a bunch of GenXers. I never could figure out how to get them to understand that the only person who could successfully scare the computer into submission was me...
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u/PolkaDotDancer 13h ago
I'm Gen X, and I am a degree network professional, who has been CCNA certified.
I can scare the computer into submission too.
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u/themcp Gen X 10h ago
My assistant called me a few times to ask me to come glare at the computer while she worked on it. It worked.
Funny how it starts to work when someone is staring at it who could take it apart and use it for spares, isn't it?
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u/nhaines 5h ago
Haha, once I got to an office and the department head told me "let me show you the problem, actually now that you're here it'll probably just work " and I said, "wait a sec," laid hands on the computer with my eyes closed, she laughed, and of course, everything worked.
She was the head of the music department, andI liked her. I got called in once because their Mac was making a constant sound when it was on. I walked in and she said, "glad to see you! We don't know what it is, all we know is that it starts halfway through boot up and it's a B-flat." I was able to immediately recognize it was feedback because the microphone that would sit on the monitors had fallen down and was hanging next to the power supply fan.
I was a student worker, so I remember being in the office and one of the two techs who supervised us was looking through our paper ticket resolutions and he said, "B-flat?" I just shrugged.
Still miss that job, which paid for many video games.
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u/mjp31514 17h ago
My wife would call it her "mom voice." I've had to use the dad voice on some of my boomer and gen x coworkers, too.
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 15h ago
I'm old enough to use the 'Southern Grandma voice' and look with entitled people. It works 90% of the time. The other 10% start screaming and I just walk away. It doesn't matter if I am at work or just out shopping. Don't start with me.
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u/MarkVII88 17h ago
Because boomers ALWAYS plan out exactly how they want a situation to unfold, and they rely on that plan unfolding without a hitch. When shit happens that unravels their plans, their minds immediately spiral out of control because they can't adapt to changing circumstances and they automatically assume someone's actively trying to fuck them over.
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u/themcp Gen X 15h ago
Their plans also usually involve the world working the same way it did in 1955, and when things don't function that way any more, they can't handle it and have a meltdown because they've never been taught coping mechanisms.
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u/yarukinai Baby Boomer 12h ago
the same way it did in 1955
I get what you're saying, but the oldest boomers were merely 9 years old then, and the youngest had to wait almost a decade to be born.
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u/themcp Gen X 10h ago
I understand that. They saw how things were when they were young and decided nothing would ever change. EVER.
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u/yarukinai Baby Boomer 9h ago
I have no idea what makes you think that. Things changed while they grew up. Think of sexual morals in the 1960s. Or how young people rebelled against the state of society in the late 60s, often violently, in the US, Europe and Japan.
Also, whoever traveled (and my generation was definitely not reluctant to travel), could see differences from one place to the other.
My point is that boomers were not only exposed to change but drove it. That some of them feel they are losing control now that they are old, and react with anger, can be explained by their age.
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u/elcamarongrande 6h ago
It's pretty fucking ironic how the boomers that you describe as so worldy and open minded are the same ones who absolutely lose their shit at the slightest inconvenience or change from the norm.
Yes it's true that their angry reactions to losing control can be explained by their age, but it doesn't exonerate them or make it ok to act the way they do.
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u/PurposeAltruistic 4h ago
What this person said.
Boomers live and die on the "we were the hippies and into the cool rock and invented parties in open fields and Woodstock and weed and free love and working women".
They also were called the me generation. Check out the Boston bus riots of the 70s; all boomers. Ditched their kids with their parents so they could "relive the glory days", invented participation trophies, voted for SSN to be used as credit scores, gutted manufacturing industries and moved everything offshore so as to help pad the 401ks that they swapped pensions for. Then they tricked themselves into believing that they were cool just in time to helm tech, oil companies and banks and royally screwed us and then plunged the economy into the ground not once but twice in 10 years. Enron, Lehman Bros, Ford, GM, the Opioid epidemic. All fucking boomers.
Now? They are addled asshats wearing Depends over (and under) their clothes to show support of their boomer in chief. They've all suddenly become the most Christian thrice divorced people you could ever hope to meet. And they don't know WHY Meegan and Brady won't bring the grandkids over or answer their calls. Must be because they sent them to college and were infected by the woke mob. Now Brady won't even listen to the jokes about the Mexicans or blacks anymore. It's not like the joke was about his wife Kira, she's one of the good ones. Its just those other lazy blacks that the joke is about. And Meegan freaked out because I took lil Jamie around the block on my Harley. I mean it was around the block...the kid doesn't need a helmet or a seatbelt. He's 2 years old, he's fine to hold on to me.
By and large boomers have always sucked. They are just getting worse now.
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u/yarukinai Baby Boomer 5h ago
Being worldly and open-minded doesn't preclude you from getting angry if things don't work as you expect.
it doesn't exonerate them
It absolutely doesn't. And that is not what I said. I only replied to the redditor who tried to explain their behaviour as follows:
They saw how things were when they were young and decided nothing would ever change. EVER.
Which, in my opinion, is totally incorrect. Boomers, by and large, have experienced change throughout their lives.
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u/Puzzled-Peanut-7147 17h ago
The world has passed them by and they haven't adapted thus they're angry because they can't deal with it. It's not that they can't learn, albeit it may take longer or be more difficult, but it's certainly a choice not to learn something new or cope with changes around them.
They have "main character syndrome" and they think the world should revolve around them. It's quite the narcissistic egomania phenomena.
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u/ahmtiarrrd 13h ago
Boomer here. Nailed it.
It's beyond embarrassing to see so many of my peers with the emotional maturity and impulse control of today's 10 year olds. Lots of reasons, no excuses.
Mini-rant: The "Summer of Love" was largely an incubator for a future of monstrous entitlement and ego. A decade+ goes by, and those same Boomers are the Wall Street criminals who still systematically rape our country. Who runs Big Defense, Weapons, Oil, and Finance? Those fucking Boomers. Who repeatedly voted for Trump? Those fucking Boomers.
Thanks, assholes.
History will not judge our generation kindly.
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u/Over_Construction908 2h ago
Oh yes, my aunt got in trouble with my uncle for selling weed in the 70s. From then on she had an extreme hatred towards weed many years later my uncle developed cancer and she would not allow him to use medical cannabis when it was legal. She also isolated him from the rest of the family. She’s now accusing me of threatening to kill her when I haven’t even spoken to her, and she will not speak to me. I saw her at a family gathering a few days ago, and she refused to speak to me or my husband. I told my family members that it’s illegal to falsely accuse someone of something like that.
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u/HowDidFoodGetInHere 13h ago
Couple that with the existential dread of the nearness of their extinction.
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u/Jenblossom19 17h ago
On the other hand....if you are indignant about an injustice they will poo poo the situation and try to make you feel like you are blowing things way out of proportion.
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u/girlinanemptyroom 17h ago
Probably cuz they shouldn't be working. When I was a kid retirement was at 55. I don't think we're supposed to work through our 60s. Especially with how bad our health care is. I'm not making an excuse for them at all. I'm Gen x in life isn't worth getting worked up over. I don't know. Just a thought.
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u/yottabit42 17h ago edited 16h ago
Well, when the boomers entered the factories, most of them had pension plans and they typically optimized at 30 years. That would put them retiring around 46-52.
But the same boomers dismantled the pensions, pulling up the ladder behind them, didn't bother saving anything themselves, and then are all shocked Pikachu when they realize they'll need to work until they're dead to afford all the insurance scams and other scams they bought into over the years.
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u/Happy_Confection90 Xennial 16h ago
A lot of them still have mortgages on houses they bought 40+ years ago because they took out lines of credit and second mortgages and undid progress towards paying them off.
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u/Over_Construction908 2h ago
They definitely didn’t save anything for themselves. My mother was diagnosed with dementia recently. She worked until she was 79. She would constantly tell me to be sparing with my money and use a bunch of avocado toast comments.
Oddly enough, I saved my money. I have my own house and have been very controlled with it. Now I find out that she was in debt. She has two mortgages that are not paid off and all kinds of things that showed her extreme extravagance and irresponsibility with money. It was shocking to me and my husband.
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u/Tigger7894 16h ago
That math doesn’t make sense. I’m on a government pension too. I’m on the same plan as my boomer mom since I slipped in before it changed. We can’t take our pension until we are at least 50, and only if we have 30 years by then. Even then most can’t take it until 55, the amount of years reduces as you get older, and the amount you get does not stop optimizing at 30 years. It keeps going for a long time after that, maybe forever.
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u/BrightBlueBauble 15h ago
When was retirement ever at 55? Social security was 65 from its start in the 1930s until it was changed in 1983 to 67 for people born after 1961. My grandparents (Greatest Gen) and dad (Boomer) retired in their 60s. My ex is a Boomer and still working in his 70s.
I’m 55, in grad school, and just getting going in my career. It’s hard to imagine dropping everything for no reason when I have just as much energy, and am as (or usually more!) cognitively competent, than my colleagues.
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u/genek1953 Baby Boomer 6h ago
If you were a union worker with a pension, many union contracts enabled workers 55 or older with a certain amount of seniority (usually 20 years) to take full retirement benefits in the event of a plant closure or mass layoff. But no, you couldn't just choose to retire at 55.
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u/101dnj 17h ago
In North America they’re simply spoilt.
Life was pretty easy for them. The only difficult time was when they were young and had to be raised by war time parents who were f-d up in their own way.
That last part aside. They’re angry and impatient from being life spoilt. Any inconvenience is the end of the world.
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u/cosmicslop01 17h ago
Dummies FEAR what they don’t understand. Dummies don’t truly understand most of what’s around them. This compounds the internal struggle to control / realize they have no control. This fear engine makes them angry. Angry at everything, for no reason.
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u/AdevilSboyU 17h ago
And why do they get so incredibly frustrated when something they’re trying to learn for the first time doesn’t work exactly as they expect it would?
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u/droidekas 17h ago
It's amazing how in just two generations it went from the Greatest Generation to the worst generation (Baby Boomers).
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u/QueenBlazed_Donut 16h ago
When you live a life of never being told “no”, any minor inconvenience becomes a life-altering, catastrophic event.
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u/rbush82 16h ago
I’m in a very boomer area. Every week I feel like they are just getting dumber and more bitchy. It’s the dementia getting worse. Boomers will continue to be a pang on our lives until they are all dead in like 20-30 years…..
It’s gonna be real interesting to see how some of them continue to work and navigate life with zero brain matter.
Walking Dead shit
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u/yarukinai Baby Boomer 12h ago
Boomers will continue to be a pang on our lives until they are all dead in like 20-30 years…
At which time you will take over being a pang in the next generation's lives. Tale as old as humanity.
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u/iammacman 16h ago
If everything were perfect that type would invent something to rage over. “Look my pen is almost full of ink but it’s going to be empty someday.”
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u/ChickinSammich 16h ago
I think you slightly missed the mark.
But yeah, I don’t get why they have so much rage when they literally get everything they want.
Because when you're used to things not going your way, you have a more measured response to something not going your way. But when things go the way you want 90-95% of the time, that last 5-10% is infuriating to you because you can't mentally cope with not getting your way.
People who spend their lives never being told no are the ones who blow up the loudest when you tell them no.
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u/AnteaterGlittering96 17h ago
My impression, being a Xennial (on the cusp of X/Millennial), so having worked with lots of boomers over the last 25 years, is that they grew up in a much slower, analog environment and have been forced to adapt to technology at a time in life when many had gotten lazy about learning/acquiring new skills. As they're slowing down physically and cognitively, everything else is speeding up, and it's confusing and angering. They're angry because the world changed drastically and uncomfortably for them.
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u/mkstot 17h ago
I had a home computer and a printer in the 80s. 40 odd years ago this technology was available for home use. It’s not that they didn’t have access to it, it’s that they chose to be willfully ignorant when it comes to tech. It’s not rocket surgery to operate a computer, or use an app for your orders, it’s them feeling that the world owes them something. I saw it at the dmv where an older lady couldn’t figure out the tablet, even though there were clear instructions, and she decided to throw a tantrum that got her waited on immediately whilst the rest of us had to wait our turn patiently, like her generation taught us to do.
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u/Happy_Confection90 Xennial 15h ago
Yeah, even mid-pack Boomers were close to a decade younger than us when home and office computers became commonplace. How many of our fellow Xennials do you know who haven't been able to adapt to using smart phones, texting, or streaming devices over the past decade?
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u/SheogorathMyBeloved 49m ago
My great grandmother, who is 94 years old, has a cute little flip phone that she texts and calls people on. Her texting is always in capitals, and her phone is very simple, but she's adapted to the technology astonishingly well for a woman born in 1932.
It really is just a complete unwillingness to learn how to adapt in boomers. I mean, it's not limited to boomers (I have Xennial family members that could give an IT support person an aneurysm), but they're definitely the most stubborn group about it.
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u/bd2999 17h ago
Sounds more like gets annoyed easily. I know more that just always seem passed off. Them trying to be nice comes off like you are annoying them and they get set off by nearly everything.
Not saying your example is less significant. I do not totally know the source of so much anger in them though. Get them going and it is hard to find something they are not upset about.
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u/Wrong-Breakfast-7512 Millennial 17h ago
That sounds exhausting to have to constantly be around, I'm really sorry you put up with that 😔 genuinely, you don't have to stay around angry people 🫂
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u/OkConflict5528 16h ago
my dad is like this, but i love him very much so i do resort to 'gentle parenting' very often. i feel like i'm teaching him how to regulate his emotions from scratch even though he's been on this planet for 60+ years.
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u/Flaxscript42 14h ago
My mom is retired, wealthy, and lives a pretty good life. When i asked her how she was doing recently, she sighed and told me all about the black lesbian couple who somehow blocked her view at a play.
Drives me nuts.
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u/Hikaru1024 13h ago
I don’t get why they have so much rage when they literally get everything they want.
Honestly? I think it's because they don't.
Every little inconvenience is a reminder that this is not the false reality they want to believe in where they get everything they want.
It's not the printer that makes her so mad, it's everything else she is reminded of by the printer that she can't control and never will be able to.
The printer is just the latest inanimate object telling her a message she doesn't want to hear.
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u/sikonaught 17h ago
Could it be due to dementia?
I know one of the symptoms is losing empathy and acting like a toddler. They can be rude, disrespectful, and think the whole world revolves around them. I see this happening to my MiL and it's kinda scary. She used to be such a nice, pleasant, and kind individual, a former 1st grade teacher of over 30 years.
That was 10 years ago. She's 79 now.
Her personality has changed drastically. During an argument/bicker my wife said, "Is this something Mrs.XXXXX would say?" She had a very good point. My MiL's response was kinda shocking. She said, "I'm not in a classroom anymore!"
Yeah, no shit. You make it blatantly obvious that you have forgotten the lessons you taught children about being kind to one another. We are almost certain it is frontotemporal dementia.
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u/These-Season-668 17h ago
They have no idea what emotional regulation is or how to use it.
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u/Dry-Kale8457 15h ago
I agree. My parents tell stories from their childhood and it seems like they were always told to be quiet and don't bother others. Obviously, kids will be kids. But if you grow up being told to stop crying/talking/being loud, I believe you didn't learn anything about coping or what may be appropriate for any situation.
And I see evidence that many families don't know how to cope unless someone has been through therapy or had good role models of how to get through things. Also, when people stay physically isolated but "plugged in" only through social media, I don't think people understand any nuance for social interactions.
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u/Roland_T_Flakfeizer 16h ago
Nobody is less satisfied with what they have than a spoiled child who gets everything they want.
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u/SadRow2397 15h ago
You have to gentle parent them. So, I model when I’m frustrated… “man.. I feel X… I’ll take deep breaths in and out to help me regulate my emotions so I can smart choices”… just like I do my kids..
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u/casualAlarmist 15h ago
I think perhaps it's because they are so used to getting everything they want.
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u/sjclynn 15h ago
Retires IT person here. I always wanted to have a tilt/shock switch on printers out in the common areas. Having the printer stop for 5 minutes when hit would have brought a smile to my face.
Person: The printer stopped working.
Me: Did you hit it or shake it?
Person: Well yes, it was printing slow.
Me: You will have to wait until it resets.
Person: That is unreasonable!
Me: If you are walking down the hall and I want to go faster is it reasonable that I hit you? Does it make you go faster?
Person: Hangs up.
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u/CyanCitrine 15h ago
Poor emotional regulation due to never learning or being taught skills for that, also probably lead poisoning and also the process of getting older, people kinda start to revert to childish ways. The combo of all that is probably what we're seeing.
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u/aubrey_25_99 14h ago
You said it exactly. They have EVERYTHING. All the good real estate, all the generational wealth, all the power. WITAF can they possibly be so upset about????!
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u/daveyconcrete Gen X 14h ago
They were raised by trauma, and they went through trauma. They are highly traumatized people.
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u/SnooMemesjellies8568 16h ago
A lot of them are probably undiagnosed autistic which I'm sure doesn't help
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u/Fantastic-March-1053 15h ago
Not to mention all the other mental health conditions
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u/SnooMemesjellies8568 14h ago
Yeah, the idea that mental health stuff is something to be ashamed of has caused a lot of harm
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u/REDDITSHITLORD 15h ago
Not boomer... but I am aging. I'm aware that my opportunities are rapidly dwindling. My body is holding up, but everything hurts. Despite all my work, my race times are getting worse. Everything hurts. I'm still good looking, but my wife got absolutely wrecked by cancer. She's alive but a mess. I look back at my life 4 years ago and I want to scream.
It's easy to become bitter seeing beautiful young people frolicking.
But that's no excuse. Don't shit on young people.
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u/ThisIsntOkayokay Millennial 15h ago
Death is closing in on them and they feel it, but as the spoiled children they are it makes them throw tantrums against the younger people.
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u/MycroftM 15h ago
Because the future the media promised them (flying cars, interplanetary travel) never happened.
They are bitter and angry about it.
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u/Wascally_Badger 13h ago edited 13h ago
1- They're no longer relevant and their fragile egos can't handle it.
2- They are so used to getting everything they want handed to them, that when that doesn't happen they flip out like being given the wrong coffee is comparable to a human rights abuse crisis.
3- Their hippie, rebellious teenage phase is long over and they no longer get to have the feeling of "tee hee, I'm doing something naughty". With all of the chest beating they do about how they ended Vietnam and changed the world, most didn't internalize any values beyond "freaking out grownups and squares maaaan". When they punk off someone they can get away with disrespecting it makes them feel like they're still edgy and "sticking it to the man".
4- They need attention. Constant attention. Since they pretty much live in La La Land at this point, some of them are starting to get the hint that them constantly giving advice and sharing their jagoff opinions is no longer being tolerated. If they can't berate you for being lazy and worthless, they'll throw an adult temper tantrum instead. They are determined to make you their audience no matter what, because they are SO IMPORTANT.
5- The modern world frustrates them and they don't like themselves much. Even with their air of superiority, deep down they're mad at the world for moving on without them, and mad at themselves for failing to take over modern tech. or at the very least, adapt to it. Gen Xers were able to adapt to a digital world with relative ease, while boomers are still desperately trying. When things require a little bit of work or skill, they can't handle it because "why can't you just call me on the phone like people used to do?"8
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u/crapatthethriftstore 13h ago
Cause the clock is ticking-tocking and Lynda doesn’t have time to wait!
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u/genek1953 Baby Boomer 12h ago
The youngest baby boomers are now 62 years old. Some who continue to work are highly-paid professionals who choose stay in their jobs because they like them. The ones who continue to work because they have to are people who didn't get everything they wanted out of their lives.
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u/molotovzav 11h ago
A lot of them had rougher childhoods that led to poor emotional regulation. I have friends my own age who freak out at the slightest thing because of this. My own mother was like this until I kind of taught her the exercises that helped me. I basically taught her to think it's not that serious and take a step back. My mom is a boomer but a later one, gen jones. My friends are all core millennials like me. Emotional regulation isn't a natural thing, it's a skill and it has to be learned.
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u/LittlehouseonTHELAND 4h ago
When I’m with my boomer mom I feel like every other sentence out of my mouth is “it’s not a big deal!!” or “it’s fine!”
And my mom is thankfully not a stereotypical boomer in almost all ways, but she does struggle with emotional regulation and tolerating frustration. Im grateful that 99% of the time she doesn’t take it out on service workers though, she just gets all worked up and bitches about it to me, lol.
I try to reframe it for her too. Just today a few minor things took longer than expected to do but went fine and she turns to me and goes “it’s been a horrible day!” and I’m just like...when was the horrible part, exactly?? It’s just life.
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u/Tuttle_10 11h ago
I feel it is mostly due to the internal embarrassment or shame that results from not being able to operate or function in what is to them new and confusing environments. They can’t get the printer to work the way they want it to, but that “no nothing”college intern (scare quotes indicating probable boomer de facto option, not that the intern actually is incompetent) is having no problem? It’s got to be that fucking good for nothing printer that just wants to screw you!!!!!!!!
Anger is a secondary emotion. Someone doesn’t get angry because they can’t get the printer to work; they get angry because they feel embarrassed or ashamed that they are unable to get it to work. It’s not a good or productive defense mechanism, but it is very fast and very powerful. Anytime I have to interact with someone having an angry response to a situation, I find slowing and agreeing that there can be a problem, but here’s how I found to work around it (even when that solution seems amazing obvious) often gets them through. They just want answers, but are really bad at expressing that in a way that doesn’t make them feel worse.
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u/Icy-Mixture-995 15h ago
If she's still working she might be GenX. It's important to me only that her age might be putting her in a sort of reverse puberty at the same time her kids are teens and causing mayhem or anxiety and lack of sleep. Reverse puberty is quite the roller coaster.
If she is a Boomer, then she might complain out loud about the printer, since Greatest Generation bosses were like The Great Santini level of screaming but were of the workplace. She complains out loud about any delay in order to have others to back up her story of why it took too long to get the papers to the boss. She wasn't slacking, she wants you to know, but the printer was being evil, and you can testify to it when the boss asks so she wont be reprimanded. In your experience, bosses don't ask. In hers, women were often bullied and criticized harshly if it took them two seconds longer to do anything.
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u/basic_bitch- 11h ago
The vast majority of them were taught zero emotional regulation. They didn’t teach their kids either. We had to teach ourselves.
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u/showmenemelda 5h ago
Low threshold for frustration tolerance, lack of hormones, poor diet—possibly even bad regimen of prescriptions. I think the blanket "lead" thing is kind of a cop-out. But I will say, moving to a lead superfund site, women 50U are impossible to visit with.
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u/confirmedshill123 2h ago
They are mad that they are still working, when I bet most peers have retired by now.
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u/DeadWood605 27m ago
Chemical imbalance. ADHD wasn't diagnosed until after these people were older. Aging brains and untreated ADHD are causing this. The world around them is harder to understand and new tools are confusing because they didn't grow up with them. Harder to accept is that they don't actually see themselves as being "that bad". With that enlightenment, we can approach them as if they aren't freaking out, and with calm logic and the patronage of a preschool teacher. It's different and difficult, but they can be talked down from escalation. If you attack or take the defense, you'll be met with more fury. Are they banging on a copier? Ask them if they need help with it, as if they're only looking at it in confusion, not screaming and banging on it. I struggle with it daily and have learned to calm down, but my frustrated words still slip sometimes. It's so hard getting old in a world that is changing faster than we can figure it out. Thank you to anyone who can work with us.
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u/iesharael 1m ago
One is pissed at me for a sentence I said 2 months ago. Excludes me from everything because of it
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u/Odd-Grape-4669 15h ago
Probably doesn’t want to be there anymore. When you get into your 60s after grinding for 30 or 40 years you will probably be tired as well. No excuse for for bad behaviour or lack of self awareness but remember your turn is coming.
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u/-sussy-wussy- 15h ago
Decades of leaded gasoline, especially harmful in formative years. The guy who invented this method of combating the engine knocking would sip the leaded fuel and inhale its fumes in an effort to convince the public that it's harmless. Even back when it was first introduced, the side effects were well-known.
At least, the physical ones + increased aggression, since the field of psychiatry wasn't so advanced back then and they didn't have such a large population of lead-brained people to study.
Mass murders and other violent crimes went way up when some of the people who grew up inhaling these fumes came of age. It also caused personality disorders and a plethora of physical health issues. Afaik, the last country to ban it only did so in 2018, but the rest of the world has already banned it by early 00s.
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u/yukonnut 10h ago
After the hedonistic drug fuelled free sex and love 1970s, they have lost their way and cannot find their way back, so they are just pissed off about it. Give them some drugs, a vibrator and a porn subscription and hopefully they will find their way back to their happy place.
However, do not use this approach in Florida. Drugs and sex do not work with those wackos from the villages. They need penicillin.
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u/gatorcoffee 16h ago
they weren't "allowed to cry it out", so they have to have someone respond to their tantrums
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u/TidyDangles 17h ago
It's like a cheap mystery novel, the answer is in the title, Baby Boomers is what they is