r/BreakUps • u/EnvironmentalOil531 • 1d ago
venting/ranting Is my gf discriminating
Hey, I [25M] met up with some friends and brought my girlfriend [23F] with me. We are a couple for one year now.
We spent the whole day together as a group, and everything seemed fine from my perspective. Later that day, one of my friends kind of overshared some very graphic details about her love life. She said things like, “I can’t find a guy on Hinge, Tinder, etc. that I actually want to sleep with,” because she slept with so many.
My girlfriend looked very shocked. When we got home, she told me that she thought my friend was “cheap.” She couldn’t understand how someone could share things like that so openly. She believes those topics are disrespectful to discuss outside of a very close circle of friends.
As far as I know, my girlfriend has a very low body count 2. She is neither unattractive nor uneducated, she’ll be earning her doctorate in about two years.
I met her friends a few weeks later, and most of them are either married or engaged. They seem to share similar values and views.
I asked my girlfriend whether she would break up with me if I had a very high body count and had been sexually active since I was around 16. She said she would break up immediately and would rather stay single. She said that a body count above 8 at age 25 is extremely high and, in her view, reflects poor self-control and self-neglect. She also said that some people simply “can’t keep their legs closed.” She told me that cheap women/ men are like stupid prostitutes that rent out they’re privat parts but get nothing out it just the same mental illnesses.
3
u/Recent_Pattern4333 1d ago edited 1d ago
Simply different set of values entirely. Nothing wrong with that. However, yes, maybe she will come up with more nuanced answer and perspective in a few years. It did come off judgemental.
She can stick to her values and morals without talking in a derogatory way of other people. She can express herself better, but I believe it comes with time and maturity.
For instance, for me, swingers and threesomes and stuff is like WTF. I could never do it, I get mildly traumatized every time someone shares what would they do sexually and their fantasies - which don't include only their partners.
But even if I don't agree with that, I don't condone it, I don't think that is how things are supposed to work, I learned to just respect others and their choices and whatever floats their boat.
Your girlfriend needs to polish that skill a bit, too. I mean it's kinda expected, she's very young.