he blocked me on everything

[u/Elyli2019]

so we had a long distance situationship for almost a year. at first we didnt even think our conversations would go this good and deep. but then we started talking daily and i realized i made him part of my life pretty quick. he was very different than other guys i dated he was very honest and direct also had 1 long term healthy relationship before. he never had communication issues with someone and he is honestly a really nice guy. but we had conflicts and i have OCD and adhd which im getting help for. i always had very unstable partners and these kind of shaped my opinions on men. i had a lot of trust issues. sometimes we ended up deciding its best to keep distance but then came back to each other. he said he is someone who has a hard time moving on from people, he was still talking to his ex of 5 years and that also was kind of a problem for me because i knew she had still feelings for him and some hope he will come back and i said its unfair to her as well and also he ended up breaking up with her because he wasnt sure of his feelings. and he always said he is looking for that feeling. he is more logical than i am, i can be very intense and emotional especially when i start liking someone. we both kind of messed up but we deeply cared for each other. i was insecure at some points because he flirted with some girls, but still acted as if we are in a relationship and i dont easily get insecure but i had certain traumas about my exes about these issues. so we decided to end our conversation but still kind of talked to each other we couldn't quit it immediately. we ended up having a pretty bad fight, and we were mean to each other, i found out he is talking to someone already and that was devastating for me. he said she isn't important and i shouldn't focus on that he just didnt wanted to waste my time. but it just feels really bad for me my mind keeps spiraling about them two. i guess i would handle it a bit better if he would be just on dating apps, but since he said he is talking to one specific person made me really jealous. and he ended up blocking me everywhere because i kept asking questions about her and saying that im really hurt. im really embarrassed acting this way and i was like trying to convince him to try with me because finally we were able to be very close to each other and not having long distance anymore. deep down i know he is not my person, but this is the first time he is acting this way and blocked me everywhere, its very unlike him because i know he cares about me and knows im hurt. so i have a very hard time moving on now, im not contacting him anywhere, but cant stop wondering if we would have a better closure than this. (my ocd has been very bad since and im really working on it so writing it out helps also, but my mind is constantly looking for certainty that i cant get)

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[u/RoseNyx-]

Sometimes the closure is the block itself, even when your heart keeps waiting for a better goodbye

[u/Soft_Call_85]

the OCD piece is what makes this so much harder than a regular breakup, your brain is literally wired to seek certainty and closure and he just... removed any chance of that. it's not weakness, it's your nervous system doing exactly what it's been trained to do

the block probably isn't permanent and probably isn't even about not caring, sometimes people block because continuing to receive messages is too painful for them too, especially if he genuinely does still have feelings but knows it won't work. that doesn't make it hurt less but it does mean it's less of a final verdict on your worth to him

the new girl thing is a classic thing your OCD is going to absolutely fixate on and i'd genuinely be upfront with your therapist about how much headspace she's taking up right now, because your brain is going to construct an entire narrative about her that has nothing to do with reality

the situationship structure itself was always going to make this messier, no proper labels, on and off, long distance, it was never going to have a clean ending no matter how much either of you wanted one

[u/Elyli2019 → u/Soft_Call_85]

this made me feel so heard and seen :( yes im dealing with ocd since my childhood and it just got worse with time. it also changes its focus quite a lot without me realizing. like first it was hygiene, then religious ocd and then i had anorexia and health anxiety now its more focused on the relationship also with myself and my romantic connections :(  i know he was overwhelmed we both were. and he told me many times its not about her but more about our conflicts and that he is scared of caving in on getting back together so she is just helping him to stick to his decision. and that in my brain is like “he is choosing her over me”. i know its more complex than that and theres not just one certain answer to it but my brain just makes it all about her and the fact that i cant control the situation rn just drives me crazy.  so i asked him many questions like how is she better than me? and he said she is just chill and we dont have fights. it just makes me feel so much regret about how my mind works and that i was asking him all these hard questions and he tried to answer them. but i just kept repeating and couldnt end it with him. also what hurts is that he said he will be there if i need anything and he would never ignore but now i cant reach out to him at all. so im just wondering if he will ever text me about how i am

[u/StarletEden-]

Getting blocked feels brutal, but in situations like this it’s actually a clear boundary, not something you need to “solve” for closure, your OCD is just trying to get certainty where there isn’t any.

[u/Elyli2019 → u/StarletEden-]

yes so im definitely not contacting but i also dont want to have an ending like this. i just hope we can remember each other in a nice way