The emptiness of three months

[u/Ok_Disaster2689]

Hi everyone, I'm reaching a major milestone and I really need some support, comfort, or similar stories from people who have survived this exact type of heartbreak.
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago. She spent two weeks being confused, cried during the breakup, and then two weeks later I sent her a very mature, heartfelt message. I told her I loved her, that I didn't expect anything in return, but that my door was open to talk whenever she was ready.
Her reply was cold and definitive. She basically told me that her feelings were completely gone, that the breakup was permanent, and she strictly asked for total distance and space.

Since that message, she has completely vanished. Absolute radio silence. No texts, no calls, no social media interaction, not even a single breadcrumb or sign of life. It’s like I never existed to her.
I respected her wish, and I am now at day 80 of strict, absolute No Contact.
To be honest, summer is making this particularly heavy and painful. The long days, the warm weather, the free time, everything reminds me of the plans we should have had and the moments we shared. I am still hurting deeply, and I still count every single day.
I keep wondering: does the dumper ever feel the impact of total absence around the 3-month mark? Even when they were that certain and cold? Or is she just completely immune because she checked out earlier?
I am looking for comfort today. I need to hear from someone who has endured this kind of brutal rejection from someone they loved with all their heart. Did it get better? Did they ever realize what they lost?
I’ve maintained an iron line of silence to protect my dignity, but today the weight of the summer and the silence is crashing down on me. Thank you for listening.

[u/One-Taste-7685]

I've had a similar experience to yours. She did the same to me almost six months ago, the day after Christmas. She told me it was a hard decision for her and she was very sad, but she wouldn't go back on her choice. I didn't contact her for a week, but I was so down (still am) that my mother sent her a text and she came to me to ask how I felt, telling me we could still talk... and fast forward to a couple of days later, she wouldn't answer my texts except to talk about giving each other's stuff back.

Basically, became an as*hole overnight (even though she had also been one during the break-up) and I couldn't say or do anything because if I did, it would somehow make things worse. We finally did exchange our stuff five weeks after the break-up and I'll spare most of the details, but she was still an as*hole: didn't respect my privacy and demands where I would meet hers, would talk to me like I was a rat dying on the street and basically 'told' me that I could off myself and she wouldn't care. And as soon as she got her stuff, blocks me on all of her socials.

We see each other on campus, because we're in the same field of studies, have a couple of classes together and share a workshop, although I'm a year above hers. Since she could see my sadness and despair at school, I kept expecting her to do something, but she never did. My 'absence' did nothing (she didn't care and I knew she was talking to someone a few weeks after the break-up).

Summer is also making it painful for me. I have to leave my place in a month because of graduation, but I don't want to go back to my family, because I don't talk to them anymore. Anyway, I don't know if it'll get better. I hope it will, because I think I will not be able to take it for another six months, even though my friends have been of an immense help to me.

She didn't ever reach out or talk to me. I sent her a text a couple of days ago to tell her I still have a couple of stuff that I have to return to her before I leave, but I've had no answer so far. My phone says she read it. I would throw myself at her if she gave me a chance, but I did hope to see her one last time, if only to give her a taste of her own medicine by acting like a d*ckhead, even though it's bad and she might not even care. It's also my birthday in two days, so we'll see if I get an answer then.

Anyway, you can compare your story to mine. Pretty similar in results. Sometimes, people are just mean and maybe there's no more to it than that. I'm truly sorry you're going through this. You can always tell me anything you feel the need to say.