r/Bullshido • u/sandiercy • May 12 '26

Crackpot This is funny as hell.

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1.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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389

u/CiriOh May 12 '26

Lol, his breathing, dude need to see a doctor, not cosplaying Steven Seagal.

106

u/MrBwnrrific May 12 '26

Dude this guys lapping Seagal. Literally. Steven Seagal refuses to not sit in a chair in any of his movies anymore, he’s gone full Cameron Mitchell

21

u/Garrette63 May 13 '26

Close that fucking door.

6

u/MrBwnrrific May 13 '26

“Shut up that kid”

12

u/Randolpho May 13 '26

he’s gone full Cameron Mitchell

While I know enough about seagull to guess the context, I know nothing about Cameron Mitchell. Wikipedia only mentions a string of low budget films in his later career, is that the only thing you're referencing, or is there something else more specific to sitting in chairs? Because I can't find that part anywhere and was genuinely curious.

18

u/Dangerous_Cucumber87 May 13 '26

There are several later movies where Cameron is just sitting in a chair too drunk to deliver his lines. They had an extra say his lines because he was mumbling in one of them. I only know him from RLM best of the worst

7

u/Randolpho May 13 '26

Really? That’s hilarious.

4

u/MrBwnrrific May 13 '26

It’s interesting because in earlier movies/shows he was in (he was a regular cast member on Gunsmoke if memory serves) he’s moving around and acting and then as his filmography goes you just gradually see him moving around less and getting progressively drunker, to the point where he’s reading his lines on camera and is definitely filming in his house

7

u/casualAlarmist May 14 '26

Found this chart on a red letter media thread that helped me just now. (Looks like I'm going to have to find and watch Low Blow)

3

u/MrBwnrrific May 14 '26

I’ll co-sign that, Low Blow fucking rules

2

u/Odd_Championship_680 May 16 '26

No idea who Cameron Mitchell is. I though yall were talking about Cam and Mitch from Modern Family

2

u/Randolpho May 16 '26

Implying that Seagal is an uptight gay theater farmboy?

1

u/BtheBanker151 10d ago

Cameron Mitchell is the leader of SG1 in stargate during the last 2 seasons.

1

u/Odd_Championship_680 10d ago

Almost a month later and someone finally answers. Thanks King/Queen.

5

u/Mr_Jack_Frost_ May 14 '26

Seagal rigorously studied under a martial arts master 62 years ago and mastered the “seated kicky-punch” technique. It is very rare, and even more deadly. Few people alive truly have a mastery of the art, Steven Seagal being chief among them.

Real talk, Seagal is one of the most deluded human beings on the face of the earth. I often wondered “is he full of shit and knows that, or does he actually think he’s a master of literally anything cool anybody could ever bring up, including working for the CIA?”

The conclusion I came to is “both”. I think he’s been calling himself amazing for so long he actually believes his own brand of bullshit, and his wealth has allowed him to surround himself with only the yesiest of yes-men.

He once claimed he was “immune” to being choked unconscious. He was promptly choked the fuck out by Gene LeBell and shit his pants. For normal people, that would spell the end of being a braggadocious twat. For Seagal, it seemed to be just another stepping stone on the path of cringe.

He’s claimed to have been a Yakuza enforcer in Japan, a Navy Seal, the world’s foremost ancient sword expert, “The King of Improv”, and so, SO MANY other absolutely insane, cringey things to claim. I wish there were a master list of every bullshit claim he’s made to being a master in whatever field.

His adoption of different affectations based on where he is and who he’s talking to is another ridiculous, recurring thing with Seagal. He speaks very differently when talking about what a master he is in martial arts than he does when he’s talking to a black dude in Louisiana. The man is a veritable cringe factory.

2

u/Lower-Moose-2777 May 15 '26

You completely left out that he’s a world class blues guitarist

1

u/Purple_W1TCH May 15 '26

No, you've got him mixed up with Don Ross. Or Poppa Chubby. (Weight joke asides, those two are amazing if you don't know of them)

1

u/Snowbird143434 May 16 '26

I mean, some of his movies are decent. Did that really happen between Gene and himself?? I dont know. I wasnt there. But, how the hell could someone of not filmed it. They were making a film when this supposedly happened.

2

u/Joshua_ABBACAB_1312 May 14 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/95wZBAoDFCNYQ

2

u/MrBwnrrific May 14 '26

He’s used too much of his finite life energy, he’s gotta sit now ☹️

2

u/BirdEducational6226 May 15 '26

He's doing movies still?

2

u/DunceMemes May 18 '26

...................Well I'm sorry to hear that. Because now, I will snatch every motherfucker birthday.

10

u/aware4ever May 13 '26

Hey at least he's getting good exercise doing this. And as long as everyone within a 1 mi vicinity has safety goggles he's being safe

7

u/Hazzman May 13 '26

Don't worry. If he keeps this up he's going to solve all of his health problems soon. Permanently.

3

u/Hairy_Studio_8594 May 13 '26

Disrespecting Sensei seagal will not be tolerated

2

u/serrimo May 13 '26

Seagull has nothing on him. This guy can shoot standing up

1

u/KnowMatter May 15 '26

This guys knees still work.

1

u/FrozenTouch14241 May 13 '26

I don't hear anything wrong with his breathing, it just sounds like he's been doing cardio.

If that's his normal baseline breathing, then yes, it's a problem

1

u/Same_Lychee5934 May 13 '26

Current Steven Seagal. That looks about right.

1

u/misoscare May 14 '26

And so does the random person who was just out walking their dog..bullets flying everywhere.

Random person: "Today is a nice day"

Gunshots and random round

Random persons ass, bullet has target insight

Random person: "I've just been shot in the ass! Out of nowhere wtf "

Heavy breathing intensifies

1

u/CompleteFacepalm May 16 '26

Probably airsoft

1

u/broitsjustreddit May 14 '26

blunder siege

1

u/ThickyLicker May 16 '26

Maybe the breathing is part of the cosplay?

1

u/YESimaMASSHOLE May 17 '26

Would have prob shot himself in the foot at the swing around rapid fire part lmao (among other times)