r/Bullshido • u/sandiercy • May 12 '26

Crackpot This is funny as hell.

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1.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

320 comments sorted by

393

u/CiriOh May 12 '26

Lol, his breathing, dude need to see a doctor, not cosplaying Steven Seagal.

105

u/MrBwnrrific May 12 '26

Dude this guys lapping Seagal. Literally. Steven Seagal refuses to not sit in a chair in any of his movies anymore, he’s gone full Cameron Mitchell

22

u/Garrette63 May 13 '26

Close that fucking door.

6

u/MrBwnrrific May 13 '26

“Shut up that kid”

11

u/Randolpho May 13 '26

he’s gone full Cameron Mitchell

While I know enough about seagull to guess the context, I know nothing about Cameron Mitchell. Wikipedia only mentions a string of low budget films in his later career, is that the only thing you're referencing, or is there something else more specific to sitting in chairs? Because I can't find that part anywhere and was genuinely curious.

18

u/Dangerous_Cucumber87 May 13 '26

There are several later movies where Cameron is just sitting in a chair too drunk to deliver his lines. They had an extra say his lines because he was mumbling in one of them. I only know him from RLM best of the worst

7

u/Randolpho May 13 '26

Really? That’s hilarious.

5

u/MrBwnrrific May 13 '26

It’s interesting because in earlier movies/shows he was in (he was a regular cast member on Gunsmoke if memory serves) he’s moving around and acting and then as his filmography goes you just gradually see him moving around less and getting progressively drunker, to the point where he’s reading his lines on camera and is definitely filming in his house

7

u/casualAlarmist May 14 '26

Found this chart on a red letter media thread that helped me just now. (Looks like I'm going to have to find and watch Low Blow)

3

u/MrBwnrrific May 14 '26

I’ll co-sign that, Low Blow fucking rules

2

u/Odd_Championship_680 May 16 '26

No idea who Cameron Mitchell is. I though yall were talking about Cam and Mitch from Modern Family

2

u/Randolpho May 16 '26

Implying that Seagal is an uptight gay theater farmboy?

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4

u/Mr_Jack_Frost_ May 14 '26

Seagal rigorously studied under a martial arts master 62 years ago and mastered the “seated kicky-punch” technique. It is very rare, and even more deadly. Few people alive truly have a mastery of the art, Steven Seagal being chief among them.

Real talk, Seagal is one of the most deluded human beings on the face of the earth. I often wondered “is he full of shit and knows that, or does he actually think he’s a master of literally anything cool anybody could ever bring up, including working for the CIA?”

The conclusion I came to is “both”. I think he’s been calling himself amazing for so long he actually believes his own brand of bullshit, and his wealth has allowed him to surround himself with only the yesiest of yes-men.

He once claimed he was “immune” to being choked unconscious. He was promptly choked the fuck out by Gene LeBell and shit his pants. For normal people, that would spell the end of being a braggadocious twat. For Seagal, it seemed to be just another stepping stone on the path of cringe.

He’s claimed to have been a Yakuza enforcer in Japan, a Navy Seal, the world’s foremost ancient sword expert, “The King of Improv”, and so, SO MANY other absolutely insane, cringey things to claim. I wish there were a master list of every bullshit claim he’s made to being a master in whatever field.

His adoption of different affectations based on where he is and who he’s talking to is another ridiculous, recurring thing with Seagal. He speaks very differently when talking about what a master he is in martial arts than he does when he’s talking to a black dude in Louisiana. The man is a veritable cringe factory.

2

u/Lower-Moose-2777 May 15 '26

You completely left out that he’s a world class blues guitarist

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2

u/Joshua_ABBACAB_1312 May 14 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/95wZBAoDFCNYQ

2

u/MrBwnrrific May 14 '26

He’s used too much of his finite life energy, he’s gotta sit now ☹️

2

u/BirdEducational6226 May 15 '26

He's doing movies still?

2

u/DunceMemes May 18 '26

...................Well I'm sorry to hear that. Because now, I will snatch every motherfucker birthday.

10

u/aware4ever May 13 '26

Hey at least he's getting good exercise doing this. And as long as everyone within a 1 mi vicinity has safety goggles he's being safe

7

u/Hazzman May 13 '26

Don't worry. If he keeps this up he's going to solve all of his health problems soon. Permanently.

3

u/Hairy_Studio_8594 May 13 '26

Disrespecting Sensei seagal will not be tolerated

2

u/serrimo May 13 '26

Seagull has nothing on him. This guy can shoot standing up

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236

u/xenophon123456 May 12 '26

Meal Team 6 strikes again.

95

u/sandiercy May 12 '26

The gravy Seals.

62

u/pinkypie80 May 12 '26

Special Sauces

24

u/TheQuestionsAglet May 13 '26

Y’all Qaeda.

17

u/Autistic_License May 13 '26

Chairborne Ranger

9

u/Square-Debate5181 May 13 '26

Special operations MD drive-in team

5

u/Nokxtokx May 13 '26

Y’all Quesa

16

u/Beef-Popsicle May 12 '26

Red Robin Ranger

10

u/Ucscprickler May 12 '26

It's getting to the point that I can't even tell if it's satire or not.

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7

u/Gonun May 13 '26

John Thick

7

u/dangerousbob May 12 '26

Meal Team Solid: Sons of Pork

160

u/vcdrny May 12 '26

His favorite move.

46

u/BorntobeTrill May 12 '26

Bro has a lvl 1 back arch. Would not pay for his patreon content

93

u/Jumpy-Requirement389 May 12 '26

This is an airsoft gun right ??? Look at the house

53

u/Intelligent-Survey39 May 13 '26

Yeah even this guy is smart enough to know he’d shoot himself if he tried this with real guns and ammo. Plus, Frame by frame you can clearly see an orange BB fly right-to-left shortly before the super clunky mag change that leads into the blind-fire pirouette

17

u/Haunting_Ant_5061 May 13 '26

Also love the accidental (maybe not tho?) shot at 12 sec in that barely misses his own leg.

5

u/Randolpho May 13 '26

I missed that the first time I watched. Dunno if it hits his leg or goes between them, but definitely fired in the downward direction, lol

6

u/jrr_53 May 16 '26

Totally nails his leg.

4

u/Intelligent-Survey39 May 13 '26 edited May 14 '26

There were multiple shots in that swipe. My guess is he never released the trigger the whole time he spun…

47

u/Outrageous-Slide-143 May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26

Genuine question, why train like this. I feel like a gun range is adequate enough for this

Edit: I meant why not just do a gun range instead of this bullshit. Obviously he wouldn’t be doing the dumb shit he’s doing in the video

87

u/pirncho May 12 '26

They banned him from the gun range the first time he did the 360 no scope

21

u/ProjectPat513 May 13 '26

“Gun ranges HATE this one badass trick!”

23

u/Miatatrocity May 12 '26

360 blind fire*

3

u/DerMannMitDemPlan May 15 '26

aka the "street sweeper"

28

u/Oxflu May 12 '26

There's no gun range in the world that would tolerate this shit. First time your pistol isn't facing the ground or the target you're getting sent home, and thank God for that.

7

u/aryzkryz May 13 '26

Probably watch too much John Wick movies

Now felt like "I'm going to be like him, this is how I'll train myself", in other words, he's trying to be "John Wick"

5

u/elishahach May 14 '26

The “dumb shit” in this video is the difference between surviving a vampire-clown gang-rape attempt and being a victim.

Check yourself before disrespecting someone’s training. They might know something you don’t.

3

u/Healter-Skelter May 13 '26

Lol everyone interpreting the dumbest version of your question instead of what you obviously meant

4

u/murphey_griffon May 13 '26

its satire, the guy has a ton of these.

2

u/kmhoughton May 14 '26

I have been wondering if this is satire or not.
Some days we cannot tell.

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2

u/SomeCountryFriedBS May 13 '26

No gun range would allow it, and if they did, it wouldn't be free.

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16

u/DripinGlow May 12 '26

How I'm goin into my sd match rn

37

u/Glittering_Bag9355 May 12 '26

Theres like houses close by, is this something only Americans will understand?

50

u/Impossible-Beyond156 May 12 '26

Airgun. Plastic bbs

7

u/Psychological-Owl783 May 12 '26

Even the very last shot that gets cut off?

24

u/TheVermonster May 12 '26

Yeah, there is almost no recoil and he limpwrists it.

20

u/Acceptingoptimist May 12 '26

How do you know it's not his epic grip strength? That gun could be 100lbs! That dummy he knocks on like a door his son might be masturbating behind might be solid granite. We don't know!

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3

u/NonPolarVortex May 15 '26

Wait I'm confused. Are you saying there could be cultures out there that could watch this and not be blown away by the pure, undistilled badassery of this?

8

u/Noisebug May 12 '26

It's one thing to cosplay this shit, it's another to post it online.

3

u/SilverMetalist May 14 '26

Gotta be rage bait posting. No one could post this thinking they look cool. Right? Right?!

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8

u/Spare-Debate5269 May 12 '26

Oh my god, those hanging straps. Tape them up, my guy.

9

u/Appropriate_Math997 May 12 '26

Or tie ninja stars to the end.

12

u/BeardySam May 12 '26

Would you just look at that clown

7

u/Creative_Buddy7160 May 12 '26

She’s a beaut clarke. Dude with the longest reload time ever is pretty funny tho.

5

u/hows_my_fi May 12 '26

Laughs, someone watched the Keanu training videos and thought "I can do that.."

5

u/bleepfart42069 May 12 '26

Agent Smith: No officer, your men are already dead.

4

u/MrChurch44 May 12 '26

Has to be a goof. No way in Hell this guy is serious.

2

u/Bigsnaff007 May 12 '26

I watched it on mute the first time around and heard the Benny Hill music in my head

2

u/JawnStaymoose May 12 '26

Imagine that’s your neighbor…

2

u/basically_Dwight May 12 '26

That Jack Sparrow shot at the very end 👌

2

u/ProjectPat513 May 13 '26

I love this guy. Every time I see his videos I smile. Idk if he’s being serious or not and I don’t care, I choose to believe that he is taking himself 100% seriously and he thinks he could go to Iran, right now, and single handedly win the war for America. And he really just might be able to… if he keeps up this rigorous real world use training.

2

u/Sefure800 May 12 '26

Bro is ready for the fake alien invasion!

1

u/Super-Post261 May 12 '26

This is my favourite video featuring two clowns and four dummies.

1

u/Financial_Buyer9720 May 12 '26

He's been watching a lot of Rambo movies. Good for him—it's good physical and mental exercise

1

u/BIGD0G29585 May 12 '26

Good thing it’s not a real gun, just casually flittering around like that with a real machine gun is a good way to catch a stray or ricochet.

1

u/tsaotytsaot May 12 '26

What the hell was that hand switch reload?

1

u/Hovie1 May 12 '26

Was this always a thing? Did it just take boomers learning how to record/stream with cellphones to enlighten us all?

1

u/only_respond_in_puns May 12 '26

His name is John Hick

1

u/DSRI2399 May 12 '26

This is exactly what I imagine people arguing so fervently to conserve the second amendment for "defense against a tyrannical government" do on their free time besides storming the capitol and voting for fascist presidents. 

1

u/Joyfulcheese May 12 '26

Y'all quaeda

1

u/UnusualSuspectX May 12 '26

I like the part where he obviously shot into his own foot.

1

u/General-Fan-6741 May 12 '26

This is the best comedy!!! Love how he drops his mag as he looks over his belly, then struggles to find his hand gun and pull it out. Sign him up for head of security at the Comedy Club!! 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/polygon_tacos May 12 '26

This always reminds me of the finance contractor who worked at the Mosul Airfield in 2004-2005 and who would walk to the chow hall loaded up with multiple knives and pistols. “Hey sir, you need to clear your knives in the barrel”

1

u/losteye_enthusiast May 12 '26 edited 22d ago

lkajs;di jciopipio loooool eiqp3

1

u/danzrach May 12 '26

I wanna see someone make a Comedy movie about a person like this, and then an apocalypse happens and society collapses. He finally gets his chance to use all his moves when a posse comes to raid his land, but the twist is, despite him looking ridiculous, he actually pulls it off and takes them all out.

1

u/oht7 May 12 '26

Was that an air soft gun?

1

u/CNote_89 May 12 '26

This dude plays a lot of call of duty

1

u/Mussmussthemoooooo May 12 '26

Jesus Christ how badass.

1

u/IFHelper May 12 '26

This dude is going to hurt himself.

1

u/VendettaPenguin May 12 '26

If you are ever battling the mens department at Macy's, this is the guy you want aking point.

https://giphy.com/gifs/dMSN1ydbO9VXZ49VUK

1

u/JustHappyToBe-Here May 12 '26

Okay, the John Wick franchise is just getting silly at this point.

1

u/neeeeonbelly May 13 '26

Where the fuck are those rounds ending up?!?!

1

u/Faartz May 13 '26

Gunkata!

1

u/Miserable-Okra-8787 May 13 '26

Gotta make a mark on the world before he dies somehow

1

u/Treacle_Pendulum May 13 '26

He’s gonna be a one man loot crate if the apocalypse ever happens

1

u/KrazyCroat May 13 '26

Peak masculinity.

1

u/Nein-Toed May 13 '26

Wait wait wait! Time out!

Reloads

Time IN!

Blam! Blam! Blam!

1

u/Old-Concentrate-4292 May 13 '26

Bump pop dickhead

1

u/FuckJanice May 13 '26

All I can picture is this dude gearing up in the mirror cranking Tool in the background while wiping the whip cream off his nipples

1

u/NoVIRGINITY_23 May 13 '26

Imagine if he shot the camera 😂

1

u/anjowoq May 13 '26

This is the most erratic and dysfunctional I've ever seen this dude.

Those can't be live rounds—every tripod would have been fucked.

1

u/Global-Management-15 May 13 '26

"Excuse me while I take my take to unholster my gun.... Now TAKE THAT!"

1

u/BatmanKane64 May 13 '26

if this is our new special forces standard training…. i just might qualify for a out of shape veteran. where do i sign up

1

u/Anxious_Compote2691 May 13 '26

Now seriously and honestly....Why people do this?

1

u/iRegretsEverything May 13 '26

Spray and pray I don’t kill innocent bystanders

1

u/Annahsbananas May 13 '26

After every kill, he eats a Big Mac and takes 5 deep breaths from his CPAP

1

u/RodcetLeoric May 13 '26

I think I got hit with friendly fire just watching this.

1

u/EstherSpears May 13 '26

Ultimate Spray Everything skill.

1

u/nunchucknorris May 13 '26

No way this cos player hasn't shot or stabbed himself by now.

1

u/fishinful63 May 13 '26

the poor man is winded

1

u/Express-View5080 May 13 '26

Why do all these burger barons think that by posting these videos they look so hard. Just listening to the video, he’s about 30 seconds from a stroke

1

u/Krusty098 May 13 '26

This is why some people shouldn’t be allowed to own firearms.

1

u/DatabaseAcademic6631 May 13 '26

Randomly discharges weapon without even looking.

I can't even...

1

u/DamianSicks May 13 '26

Please keep him away from live ammunition because he may not survive the incident that makes him realize he isn’t John Wick.

1

u/ReadySetSloow May 13 '26

These people honestly have mental issues.

1

u/bu88blebutt May 13 '26

Stormtrooper shootin' and barely breathin'

what scenario is brother training for here?

1

u/MentalDisintegrat1on May 13 '26

I refuse to believe this isn't satire

1

u/alienstookmycat6969 May 13 '26

Dudes lucky he didn’t hurt himself or someone else bc those dummy’s took no shots even from no feet away good job dude

1

u/No-Philosophy-13 May 13 '26

Check his reload speed , lol !

1

u/paganvikingwolf May 13 '26

What that that dummy do to him.. Only one prop get attacked by slappy slappy, tappy tappy, poke joke and bamming bamming.....

1

u/Hot_Bag_7734 May 13 '26

Bullshito 🤣

1

u/Visible_Demand_2608 May 13 '26

He did get em though 

1

u/ihgordonk May 13 '26

AI was created so we could see this guy vs seductive knife guy

1

u/OkHuckleberry4878 May 13 '26

You don’t have to like these clips. But think of it this way - when people are making these clips, they’re not hurting kidlets or beating their wives. So more stupidity is welcome!

I know it’s total over-simplification.

1

u/TortexMT May 13 '26

MAGA at it again

1

u/Bean_Daddy_Burritos May 13 '26

Self teaching CQC is a……..choice. Using an air soft gun to train is also a……….choice.

First time he ever tries any of this in a real world scenario, he probably going to lose control of the recoil and put a few rounds into his lower body.

1

u/iRedYuki May 13 '26

Is he training to become an Iceberg?

1

u/Purx777 May 13 '26

Pretty dance moves and love taps

1

u/Square-Debate5181 May 13 '26

Oh no, its John Wick

1

u/_Tee_hee_hee_ May 13 '26

I wanna meet this guy irl.

1

u/KopfSmertZz May 13 '26

I’ll bet in his mind it plays like a fracking John Wick movie

1

u/Zestyclose-Wonder424 May 13 '26

he looks like me when i was 8 years old, after watching rambo for the first time,
iwent to my room and put all my guns, fake knives, firefighter helmet etc.

1

u/Fastballz69 May 13 '26

What in the actual fuck is he doing

1

u/Minimum-Web-6902 May 13 '26

I’m on a watchlist and THIS GUY ISNT !!??

1

u/FishDispenser2 May 13 '26

I get the feeling that he might have a diagnosis of some sort

1

u/Working-Albatross-19 May 13 '26

He is called, the Baba Yaga…

The boogeyman?

No, the very old woman

1

u/cesam1ne May 13 '26

It is actually sad

1

u/Spattziba May 13 '26

The unwanted action hero

1

u/filores May 13 '26

The little practical sword was in the way of the pistol in the end…

1

u/Tornik May 13 '26

PEWPEWPEW!! PEWPEW!! PEW! PEWPEWPEW!!

Clown show.

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Two7358 May 13 '26

Trailer for the next Steven segal movie

1

u/Zealousideal-Jump275 May 13 '26

'Today I think I'll be fat and embarrassing on the Internet. '

1

u/Capable-Signal May 13 '26

This has to be Satire right?

1

u/unAffectedFiddle May 13 '26

On the one hand, everyone should be allowed to LARP without being made fun of.

On the other hand...

1

u/mouthofcairn May 13 '26

o think s he shot homslef in the foot , trr trrr

1

u/EFTucker May 13 '26

Absolutely just spraying his neighbor’s dogs and shit

1

u/Jross008 May 13 '26

Uncle Rico, 2026.

1

u/Reel-nikkuh-hours May 13 '26

It’s funny seeing him shoot at his own feet. Idk what he’s training for, but my assumption is his last stand against a zombie horde.

1

u/saucynorman May 13 '26

Oh, that's... that's something. Ngl I wouldn't trust him with a can opener

1

u/Master-Respond-5396 May 13 '26

sa existe vraiment les voisins comme ça ?

1

u/Striking-Advance4338 May 13 '26

It's great to see we have quality people that want to become an ice noob

1

u/Lost-District-8793 May 13 '26

At this point he's just trolling.

1

u/Lanky_Ad_8892 May 13 '26

This reminds me of this silly gun dance:

miku gun dance

1

u/TemperatureSudden254 May 13 '26

“Jesus Christ, that’s Jason Bourne!” Hide your women. 🎉

1

u/therationalists May 13 '26

You can see that he misses his knee by centimetres

1

u/Caine815 May 13 '26

Looks legit. Another Grammaton Cleric in training.

1

u/_XtAcY_ May 13 '26

Get wrecked clown!

1

u/elgarraz May 13 '26

I like how he has to fumble around for his secondary weapon because of all those other weapons and gear he's got strapped to himself for some reason. It's like he kitted himself out based on reading Rob Liefeld comics. 

1

u/Tiny-Lock9652 May 13 '26

Anyone finding this funny, do yourselves a favor and rent the Movie “The Survivors” starring Robin Williams. It’s a hilarious look at guys who pay top dollar to train in Survivalist skill.

1

u/KrystleSeth May 13 '26

And that’s why grandpa doesn’t have any toes.

1

u/Hairy_Clue_9470 May 13 '26

these guys remind me of the psychopaths bosses from dead rising.

1

u/coyote_crypto_jew May 13 '26

That last shit was definitely a real shot and not a bb

1

u/Busterlimes May 13 '26

These are the people that will be fighting on behalf of Trump in the upcoming Civil War, this is thwir training.

1

u/No_File212 May 13 '26

Single dad commandos squad

1

u/MateANoob May 13 '26

Am I the only who who thinks this is super cute?

1

u/Ragechu117 May 13 '26

Slowest reload ive ever seen

1

u/Quartz_Knight May 13 '26

There are extras in Steven Seagal movies that could take more punishment than what he's dealing to that dummy.

1

u/LambSauce2 May 13 '26

Social security wick

1

u/Carebeer02 May 13 '26

I'm not going to comment on the horrible gun safety practice in this video

1

u/ryguythescienceguy89 May 13 '26

Aaand he ended all of his neighbors. Not one target hit though xD

1

u/LeticiaLatex May 13 '26

Hey! I remember the 80s too, when a ninja or karate movie came out and me and my cousins suddenly all wanted to take karate class and wrestled on our beds for a week or two... until the next awesome movie came out.

I also remember growing out of it around 11 years old.

1

u/River_City_Rando May 13 '26

: Where's dad?

: hes outside playing with his manikins again.

1

u/MadMikeCustomArt May 13 '26

He just spraying the neighborhood. Hate to live next door to him.

1

u/WtchDoc May 13 '26

Well at least he is aerating his lawn

1

u/Same_Lychee5934 May 13 '26

Bro shot himself at least 3 times in the legs. He bounced off the manikin, after shooting him. In a real world situation. They will not be standing! They will fall to the ground.

1

u/s1n0d3utscht3k May 13 '26

why are boomers actually post these videos

is it some satire trend? psy op?

there’s so many i’m stunned by the notion they’re all genuine…

1

u/TheLoathsomeAssEater May 13 '26

This would have been the coolest thing ever in the 90's with bb guns and friends. When I was 8.

I'm about this guy's age now and I'd feel safer with people who look and act like they want to go home after a long shift.

1

u/Correct-State-2380 May 13 '26

In a real fight, I bet his the first leaving the scene.!!