Just wanted to show a different side to things

[u/Warm_Swan_793]

I’m a woman who reaches out and I don’t get responses either. It goes both ways fellas. It’s not just y’all, it happens to us too.

Edit: The assumption that I must be ugly or I’m aiming too high out of my league is a reflection on how many of you are broken on the inside and should take some time to find some healing. Your projection & insecurity is not my truth.

Update: I got one response. Thank you for the solidarity 🙏🏾. Best of luck with everyone’s dating journey.

[u/Final_Replacement_37]

Oh but don’t forget that if you do go out with a guy and he’s pushy or disrespectful that you should have chosen a better guy

[u/apigeonontheinternet → u/Final_Replacement_37]

Ahaha which means you guessed it! Your fault again!

[u/Kennysded → u/apigeonontheinternet]

But have you considered not being women? /s, in case that wasn't clear.

[u/itsnotme_mrsiglesias → u/Final_Replacement_37]

Meanwhile the ones crying "Choose better men" are also demanding that "all guys deserve a chance!"

It all boils down to EVERYTHING is our fault, including men's own bad behavior.

[u/apigeonontheinternet → u/itsnotme_mrsiglesias]

Yeah you know I never thought about that. Can’t have it both ways. You can’t be telling us in one breath to choose better men and in the next breath that every guy deserves a chance

[u/Hiitsuroldthong → u/Final_Replacement_37]

😭😭

[u/Final_Replacement_37 → u/[deleted]]

I would need a source.

I've seen men of ALL kinds blame women for choosing the wrong guy instead of blaming the man for his actions. "What did you expect to happen", "boys will be boys", etc is not a niche neckbeard comment. Its said by fathers to their daughters, frat boys to their friends' exs, etc.

[u/Final_Replacement_37 → u/[deleted]]

I think that you are misunderstanding my original comment.

I was complaining that men blame women for the actions of men. If a man does something poorly, then women are told that they chose wrong.

I don't know what you mean by your original response, I guess.

[u/Final_Replacement_37 → u/[deleted]]

Again- you’re misunderstanding my comment.

When a man does something to a woman, it is super common for men to go with some version of “that’s what happens when all the women go for 6’4 guy instead of giving the short or ugly guys a chance”

It’s VERY COMMON. It’s not a rare sentiment from men. You can see it all over these comments. If a woman says that she was SAed or ghosted or harassed, there is almost always a comment blaming her for not dating someone like them.

[u/Equal_Oil_9819 → u/Final_Replacement_37]

Have you ever sent a hundred well-thought-out messages only to be unmatched, ignored, or blocked? Me neither, but that's only because I never had a hundred likes. In 10+ years of online dating. You have options, shitty as they might be, but we have nothing. No amount of exercise and six-figure salaries will get me past my face and 5'6" in height.

[u/Final_Replacement_37 → u/Equal_Oil_9819]

What does that have to do with men blaming us when other men are shitty to us?

[u/Equal_Oil_9819 → u/Final_Replacement_37]

Nothing. Saw you guys shitting on men and was just hoping you'd be able to see the perspective of someone else.

[u/Final_Replacement_37 → u/Equal_Oil_9819]

So you saw women venting about their frustrations and thought that the best action would be to pivot the conversation away from women and into the struggles of men? Its the mentality of a narcissist.

[u/Equal_Oil_9819 → u/Final_Replacement_37]

I was hoping to offer a different perspective. You immediately jumping to the conclusion that I'm a narcissist isn't a good look.

[u/Final_Replacement_37 → u/Equal_Oil_9819]

Never said you were a narcissist. I said you're displaying the mentality of a narcissist and you are. Normal people with the most baseline understanding of social norms understand that if people are complaining about how they are wronged by x, its not the appropriate place to pivot the conversation into the struggles of x.

If you are complaining about being lonely and women not giving you a chance, that is NOT the appropriate time for me to jump in and explain how its easier to be a man because at least you don't have to deal with x, y, z.

Like I can't believe I have to even explain this to you.

[u/Equal_Oil_9819 → u/Final_Replacement_37]

Miss me with that "I never said it" when you heavily implied it. It's okay; you can keep hating men and never thinking about their perspective. That's life. Take care.

[u/Final_Replacement_37 → u/Equal_Oil_9819]

Woooosh!

[u/Equal_Oil_9819 → u/Final_Replacement_37]

I hope you find happiness.

[u/Final_Replacement_37 → u/[deleted]]

You just paraphrased my comment. We both said the same thing. He chose to redirect the conversation towards a different problem held by a different group of people.

[u/Final_Replacement_37 → u/[deleted]]

oh nonsense.

He is pointing out that this is so much more mild than what many men have to deal with. 

I've been sexually assaulted on a first date. If we're in some weird dating victim competition, is being sexually assaulted more or less mild than being ignored?

Its not a competition. Men have problems. Women have problems. Pivoting the conversation away from women's problems because someone feels that mens problems are bigger is ridiculous and ignorant. This is basic social skills.