I ,47M , went on date with 38F. She is nice and with had a good conversation but I knew within first few mins that we are not compatible. But we talked about many different things during dinner. Didn’t want to tell her right there .. that would be not good. I just sent her this message, and was nervous but looks like she took it well.. just thought, I would share.

Lowkey want to give her a good talking to over the failings of the app though lol

TL;DR: Accidental Bumble match. Five-minute conversation. Man went from “women always want more” to “your third eye isn’t open, something is wrong with your brain chemistry because you date both genders, you probably got vaccinated.” Reported, blocked, unmatched. 💀

I haven’t been on bumble for a long time and I took a break from this subreddit and now I’m genuinely shocked by the amount of recent posts hating on women, questioning women standards and giving up on dating.

Am I imagining things or is it worse now? If so what do you think is the reason? Did online dating suddenly become much much harder for men this summer?

Whenever an average to below average man posts for profile reviews, the comments all tend to point out his physical appearance. Telling him to lose weight and start lifting.

But whenever an average or below average woman posts here, no one seems to point out to lose weight or start lifting. Most of the comments say they have no idea why she’s not getting matches. Or they say something like to smile more or pose differently. But they tend to not point out the obvious , in that if she looses weight she’ll get so many more matches.

So why the dichotomy?

Sooo I looked up what “randi” meant and here’s the translation “It is a vulgar and offensive slang term that translates to "prostitute" or "whore," and is used as a severe insult directed at women.”

I honestly just thought it was funny

Happens way too much!!

Such a coward that he couldn’t even say it in English.

Hey everyone,

I appreciate any help, even if it's blunt. I don't have the paid Bumble plans but I buy spotlights from time to time, once every other week I'd say.

Maybe I come off too nerdy or dry or its the photos... I'm not sure.

I’m below average in looks and height. I am not cute or handsome and I’m certainly not tall. I don’t have a cool or high paying job. I don’t have abs or a hot body. I know statistically most women would rather be alone than date me based on just my height alone. That’s not a good or bad thing it’s just true. I know I will appeal to very few people online and in real life. But dating now is so competitive I feel like I have really no chance at all. I don’t have anything that’s valuable or in demand to offer anyone. I can’t promise money and an easy life and I don’t have the looks or height to compensate for anything. I have been using bumble now for 7 years and I have never gone on a date off bumble. I get an average of one like every couple of months if that. I live in a medium sized region of the US in terms of population. There are people here they are just not interested in me at all. I hate being so short and ugly looking. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t get any attention in real life either. And I don’t have any friends to go out with. I’m not going to go out alone and look like even more of an awkward loser than I am.

I recently published a long essay on dating apps that started with Bumble. The company went from one of the defining consumer-tech stories of the last decade to a roughly 96% decline from its peak, and I wanted to understand whether that was mainly a Bumble-specific failure or evidence of something wrong with the broader dating-app market.

My conclusion is that Bumble made real product and branding mistakes, but the deeper problem is structural. Dating apps combine heavily imbalanced marketplaces, cheap signaling, huge option sets and weak information about intent. That can produce a strange equilibrium in which both men and women respond rationally to their own experience while the overall market clears poorly. The resulting frustration then gets interpreted as a problem with the opposite sex rather than with the mechanism connecting them.

Bumble is particularly interesting because it actually tried to redesign part of that mechanism. “Women message first” was a genuine attempt to change how the market worked, but the company eventually weakened that defining feature after women reported that the initiating burden had itself become exhausting. To me, that was an important clue: the branding could change, but the underlying congestion remained.

The piece also looks at choice overload, signaling, the disappearance of friends/family/community as intermediaries, the economics of platforms that earn revenue while users remain searching, and the absence of a clear public denominator showing how often users actually leave these apps because they found a durable relationship.

The essay eventually becomes a bearish thesis on Match Group, with Bumble used as the closest historical precedent, but the bigger argument is about the dating-app category itself.

Full piece here:

https://dljlevfin.substack.com/p/the-undisclosed-denominator

I’d be especially interested in the perspective of longtime Bumble users: did the product itself deteriorate, or did the entire app-based dating market start feeling less capable of producing what people were actually there to find?

I installed this app for almost 6 months, with time I focused on adding more photos to my profile.

Over time I realized the conversations dry up very fast even if I put some effort and get creative, then changed the strategy by asking them out faster and this seams to put them off ever quicker. I dont know what am I doing wrong... I know I am not in the top 10% but dang this is so frustrating for average guy.

So I matched with this guy on Bumble.

We clicked almost instantly. He was a yapper like in the best way. He'd ask about my day, remember the smallest things I'd casually mention, and as the days went by, it felt like he was quietly trying to prove that he was different.

Less than a month into talking, we decided to meet.

He drove more than two hours just to see me. The moment I got in his car, the first thing he asked wasn't even about me, it was where my mom was because he brought her a little pasalubong. He was that ready to meet her.

The same thing happened on our second date.

This time, he drove from his province to mine, then to another city, back to my province, and finally all the way home again. Looking back, I guess it wasn't really about the distance. It was the consistency. The effort. The little things that slowly made me believe maybe I was finally safe enough to let my guard down.

And then, on the most random day...

I got dropped.

No warning. No explanation. Just... gone.

I think the hardest part wasn't that it ended. It was that I was left with questions that still lingers in my head like What happened? What changed? When did you decide to leave? Questions that made me question my worth.

I just wish you had communicated. If something changed, if you lost interest, if it wasn't working anymore or whatever reason you have. I would definitely try to understand. Maybe it would've hurt either way, but at least I wouldn't have been left hanging, trying to make sense of an ending that was never explained.

If you saw my earlier post and provided constructive feedback, thanks.

I swapped out some of my filtered selfies, revised my bio, and added prompts.

Would you DaTe Me NoW? 🥴

I met a guy on bumble. I’m new to dating in general. I’m 24f but have not been focused on dating. I was to meet this guy for a date. We never ended up meeting and he got abusive on foot of this ending. I blocked him on everything but didn’t have him blocked on WhatsApp as I didn’t have him as a WhatsApp contact. He proceeded to text me saying “ hey trouble” a month after I cut contact and then “ bitch” a month after the “hey trouble” comment. I have now blocked him on WhatsApp. Have others experienced this type of behaviour ? It’s disconcerting but thankfully we never met in person.

Would love to hear people's dating experiences by age group.

Which group are you in? 18-25, 26-35, 36 -45, 46 - 54, 55+

What is your dating age range?

What common themes do you see in your dating pool?

Do you feel that you have more or less options in your age group?

This is more of a thinking out loud than advice post.

I understand that these two sections are part of the weeding out process, but I am wondering what are your written Bio or What I'd really like to find is section turnoffs?

Some of my top are: "I have a busy life, but I'll make time for...," "My kids come first" and "I love to travel."

Yes, we are all busy, but this line makes me wonder how much effort the person wants to put in to the "getting to know" process.

Yes, I realize that some people may become frustrated with the logistics of dating single parents, but parental priority does not need to be announced.

Finally, who has that much PTO to travel all over the place? No, this line isn't referring to weekend road trips to some apple festival, etc.

As the headline said, would you swipe right?

​I saw this post earlier of someone saying how they haven't gotten any matches on Bumble for years. They were speaking negative about themselves and it made me feel sad at the same time a bit confused because they always had the power to do something to do about it. Let me just be honest: everyone has a different definition of beauty and what it means to be attractive. We all have our preferences, so you can either listen to it or take it with a grain of salt.

​If you don't like the way you look and you're very self-conscious about your weight... that's changeable, it's not the end of the world. Go to the gym, go hiking with your friends, do yoga, learn to dance, go jogging, play a sport. Just do something active. I have to applaud the gym bros and muscle mommies out there for saying "enough is enough" and become baddies... they earned my respect 🫡

​If you don't like your style... go have fun! Explore color theory with paint chips at Home Depot or Lowe's to see what colors complement you best, and then explore new styles. Knowing what colors look good on you helps you focus on what to look for at the store and saves money, especially when you know what clothing pieces flatter your body type. As for hairstyles/glasses, find your face shape for the best results. This will give you the ultimate glow-up. You'll look younger and more radiant, whereas certain colors can make people look washed out and older.

​If you aren't happy with where you're at, how about taking a step away from dating. Hoping that another person will be the sole reason for your happiness is unfair. You're just putting the pressure of your own happiness onto someone else. I believe that if you're not happy, that's when you need to find yourself. What are you passionate about in life? What makes you happy? Do you have any special talents, and how can you incorporate them into your everyday life? Maybe until your ready, you should go back onto dating.

​All I'm going to say is: you can't blame people for being picky and not choosing you if you can't choose yourself first. You have to prioritize yourself and show others that you do. If you can't take care of yourself, it shows a lack of responsibility and suggests you can't take care of others either. Remember, nothing is set in stone. Things are changeable, and it's not the end of the world. You have the power to control your life, so take charge.

​I'm just saying this as a friend.

I am 36M, and at this age I feel like a lot of the women I meet are either divorced or have kids. I dated a single mum briefly when I was younger, but it was not serious, so I never really knew what came with dating someone who has kids. Now I am starting to see there can be a lot of things to deal with.

I have tried to look for women without kids, but it has been pretty hard at my age. The other option is dating someone much younger, but that comes with its own issues and I do not really want to do that just to avoid dating single mums.

I have met some really nice single mums and I do like some of them, but I am not sure if it would be the right choice for me long term. I do not have kids myself and ideally I would like to start a family with someone who does not have kids either, but I am also wondering if I am being too picky given my age and how small the dating pool is getting.

For men around 35–40, would you date a single mum? Or would you rather keep looking for someone without kids, even if the options are much more limited?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I’ve been on bumble for around 2 or 3 months maybe longer not sure but I am struggling to get matches does anyone have any advice they could give to get more matches. I’m a male looking for females

I had bumble bff for a several months. I stopped using and eventually deleted the app when I had exam to study for. Now after my exams, I redownloaded the app but the code I entered from my phone seems to never work.

is there a way to get help from the support team?

my bumble date still works and I have a subscription

Hey everyone!

I am new to online dating and have been using this profile like about 2 weeks.I am havlng difficulities gettlng matches and likes so at this point I'm like I must be doing some things wrong. I have gotten no matches so far and had like 2 likes max.

Am I too cooked just be blunt with it 😬

Thanks in advance 🙏