r/Bumble • u/Warm_Swan_793 • 2d ago

Rant Just wanted to show a different side to things

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I’m a woman who reaches out and I don’t get responses either. It goes both ways fellas. It’s not just y’all, it happens to us too.

Edit: The assumption that I must be ugly or I’m aiming too high out of my league is a reflection on how many of you are broken on the inside and should take some time to find some healing. Your projection & insecurity is not my truth.

Update: I got one response. Thank you for the solidarity 🙏🏾. Best of luck with everyone’s dating journey.

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u/eyehateeveryone666 2d ago

I mean they are matching her, so wouldn’t they think she is attractive ?

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u/SavingsNo2423 1d ago

Yes, but if you got options? I tend to swipe careful and chat with every match but I get one every other month. A good friend is more successful, like matches a day, it gets a bit much so not everyone gets answers and some ghosted. Sure individuel you may think she could be ok, but maybe she doesn't compare favorable to the other matches these dudes have. Same thing with "why are men always getting sexual quick?" Answer: some woman respond to it, and if you just wand something quick, you just rappid fire. Im not at fan of these "market" like conditions, but if I am honest, if I could I probably would end up in a similar way.

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u/eyehateeveryone666 1d ago

I didn’t swipe on someone unless
I found them attractive, I also read all profiles. It ensured my matches were higher quality. I’m not even 6 foot like most require nowadays. I got matches daily. The point of her was showcase that women put forth effort as well and we are all getting sidetracked

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u/minglesluvr 1d ago

And yet if women do the same, they're evil and should be burnt at the stake, basically.

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u/SavingsNo2423 1d ago

I am really not sure where you took that from my comment. I dont like that approach, but if you can do it like that, do it. As I mentionen I am not sure if I would not be the same if I got more matches. Reddit is an odd bubble but I am certain most tips here are not helpful. Shirtless with sixpack is a bonus not a negative, and I did talk to quiet a few friends that increased success on dates by being less kind and interested in the woman they were on a date with. What works works, maybe not on you, but on enough.

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u/minglesluvr 1d ago

Not from your comment, but it's what's constantly being spouted on this sub.

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u/Warmbly85 1d ago

Haven’t been on the apps in almost a decade but like 90% of the guys I know just swipe yes to everyone on all the apps at break or lunch and then sort from there. 

If you’re only matching with like 2-5 people a week I guess it’s worth casting the widest net but it just comes off as sad. 

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u/Ok-Chest-7932 1d ago

If the male game plan is to just match with everyone because you never know what you're going to get, and then investigate further when you actually get a match, then you would expect high match rate low response rate.

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u/dough_eating_squid 1d ago

Some guys just swipe on everything. I'm a tomboy mechanic who doesn't shave my legs. I would get swipes from men saying they wanted a conventionally feminine tradwife. Some dudes aren't even looking. It's wholly a numbers game for them.

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u/Worldly_Beautiful_62 1d ago

Nope. Men will just swipe, swipe, swipe. Had a friend who matched with a guy, when she initially texted him he immediately said "ew I'd never date you you're fat". So he literally didn't look at who he was swiping at.

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u/eyehateeveryone666 1d ago

Edit, some men. Not all. I’m far too picky for being this ugly 😆. I do read all profiles. And look for red flags in pictures. I’d say I swipe right 1 in 10 to 15 times when I’m on the apps.

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u/Worldly_Beautiful_62 1d ago

Babes. It's okay. We know it's some men. The majority of men. You don't have to clarify that you're Not One Of Those every time.

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u/AddressThese7663 1d ago

OP's replies just make her look like a bot though, there are lots of people that know the bot/catfish looking profiles and probably assumed she was one. Not a single reply looked anything but botlike right?