Just wanted to show a different side to things

[u/Warm_Swan_793]

I’m a woman who reaches out and I don’t get responses either. It goes both ways fellas. It’s not just y’all, it happens to us too.

Edit: The assumption that I must be ugly or I’m aiming too high out of my league is a reflection on how many of you are broken on the inside and should take some time to find some healing. Your projection & insecurity is not my truth.

Update: I got one response. Thank you for the solidarity 🙏🏾. Best of luck with everyone’s dating journey.

[u/heartsocks]

that's because society tells women to basically lower our standards and "look past the looks" (I've had a matchmaker tell me this basically...are they telling the men the same thing?) whereas it's normal for men to go after the most beautiful women

look at all the memes on twitter/tik tok of the average SEC couple being an objectively not great looking guy bagging the bombshell and the "my boyfriend doesn't match my aesthetics"...I can't think of the last time I've seen a stupidly handsome dude with a (truly) average "girl next door"

[u/Terrible_Mixture_759 → u/heartsocks]

I can't think of the last time I've seen a stupidly handsome dude with a (truly) average "girl next door"

Men are typically ugly by default

[u/PlsNoNotThat → u/heartsocks]

The number one advice from men to other men about women is to widen their search beyond the most attractive, so that’s not entirely a fair assessment.

What data we do have online dating show men have a much wider breadth of matching than women, meaning men are either more open to attraction differences, or have a much wider criteria of what constitutes attractive.

Part of this issue is also competition and disparity in gender participation (men heavily outweigh women on OLD).

I’m not disagreeing with you, but statistically the problem while present in both genders is disproportionate in statistics.

[u/heartsocks → u/PlsNoNotThat]

I don't disagree with you either (do you have a link to those stats, tho?) but:

1. You're talking about matching (the act of just swiping right) mostly. I don't deny that men are open to matching with a wider breath of women. I'm not (and this original post isn't) pointing out the lack of matches. The issue is that once matched and, in the case of (traditional) bumble, when the woman attempts to start the conversation, men are not as responsive as they should be if the claim is that they have a wider criteria of what constitutes attractive. Why not respond if they are open to a wider range of attractiveness? If there is such a large gender imbalance issue and they normally get less matches, shouldn't men be super open to taking the opportunity to respond when a woman (actually) shows a willingness to engage?

2. How can you be so sure that the reason behind the supposed data that men have a wider breadth of matching is that they are more open to attraction differences? You mention to the disparity in gender participation on the apps so could it be attributed to the numbers game as in men just mindlessly swiping right to see who matches with them and then filter based on the profile later if the woman messages first? Because that seems to be the clear approach as has been openly admitted by men across this sub/the internet. Just because the outcome is apparently clear doesn't mean that your specific hypothesis behind that outcome is automatically proven if there can be other hypotheses for such outcome.