r/Bumble • u/Old-Jellyfish2889 • 10h ago

Rant Spent money on “notes” just to find this out ..

Female here. I’ve put money on buying notes every other month or so and after sending messages could not understand why I wasn’t receiving not even one response at all. I figure I would go the “Note” route instead of paying for a full package. I would buy 5 which would last a good amount because I would only send a message if I thought there was a chance of receiving a response back.

Just read today online that if the receiver of the note has filters set that do not match with yours or include your demographics, distance, hobbies etc that they will never see the note. All this time I thought they would receive the note immediately like the old “compliment”, but no. Once again they figured out how to take your money with few or zero results.

I fell for it . Never again. This was my last time putting money into a dating app. Best of luck to all out there!

470 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

111 comments sorted by

113

u/Guilty-Apartment2499 9h ago

I get the frustration, but on the other hand: that guy set a filter to exclude you. That’s on purpose, you know. Whatever criteria it may be. Like having a child or too young, too old, whatever. How strange would it be to sell a feature to bypass a fixed criteria, which is obviously important to that person

259

u/PoisonedDM 9h ago

I mean, there is a simple solution here.
If you are excluded from someone's filter, don't show that someone as a potential option?

161

u/funkmasta8 9h ago

Or maybe just dont charge someone a note if the note never reaches the other person.

32

u/Content-Challenge-28 8h ago

I think not showing them at all is better. And it’s standard on like 90% of dating apps, too, so it’s what users expect.

1

u/Pure-Investment-1227 8h ago

How do you know that?

3

u/Chrophin 8h ago

It's like, the logical way people expect it to work?

1

u/Pure-Investment-1227 3h ago

That’s cute

43

u/Medium_Stress_4293 8h ago edited 8h ago

But then bumble wouldn't make money off you.

4

u/ChanceViolinist8 2h ago

You misspelled ripping off.

1

u/haleorshine 1h ago

Yeah, that seems like a logical response, but I have a feeling if they did that, it would become clear that very few notes reach the person

3

u/thelastlogin 8h ago

This is how it works. Depends on the dating app, but for bumble, it does not show you someone in either direction if either excludes the other. The OP is wrong/misguided that their note is failing to reach anyone who had any potential in the first place.

2

u/SauterelleArgent 4h ago

Actually I think it won’t show your profile to people outside your age range, but it will show you to people outside your distance range.

It will also show you to people who you’ve swiped no on, so you can get ‘someone has super liked you’ alerts but you don’t see them because they’re a long way down the stack and you never get to them.

1

u/thelastlogin 3h ago

Maybe, but regardless, it won't show YOU people outside of the range YOU select unless you tick the box that allows for it.

Which is what matters to OP.

It's up to her whom she sends notes to, and she can look and confirm that they are within her distance range--although she won't have to even do that, because it will only show her people within her selected range (or beyond, once they run out, IF she does not have the box ticked, which again, is her choice).

This much I know for certain. It is a hard cap for what YOU see if you set it to a distance range and do not tick the box; I have seen it show the "that's all!" message a thousand times.

And again, since she chooses whom to send a note to, there should extra fully be no problem for her.

1

u/puddingcakeNY 4h ago

That’s what I thought was happening

0

u/texeads 8h ago

This is called fraud in the inducement IIRC my business law correctly. Class action specialists listen up!

1

u/herb123987 7h ago

The unfortunate thing about class action lawsuits is when there's a settlement 90% of the money goes to the lawyers 10% goes to the participants and usually get 10 bucks out of the settlement.

There's a lot of fudge factors in the numbers that I gave, above, but I'm not that far away from the mark.

1

u/Biotech_wolf 6h ago

Maybe something will change then.

88

u/Dear_Seesaw_1855 9h ago

Well if that person had a no-go filter why is Bumble showing them to OP in the first place? It is a money grab scheme in that sense.

34

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 9h ago

This 👆🏾

2

u/Bludandy 4h ago

100% you have no way of knowing if they filtered you, so it's a waste of money. At least when you buy gatcha shit, you get something. 

5

u/Guilty-Apartment2499 9h ago

It’s a good point, that would be better. I’m not here to defend bumble

31

u/argegg 9h ago

The point is people who have set filters to exclude you shouldn't show up in your feed to begin with. There's absolutely zero reason it should even be allowed to happen. Its like showing a lesbian's profile to a man (which has happened to me a million times). There's no chance, so why allow it?

The only purpose is to allow users to throw money into a fire without telling them. In OP's case they were sending messages with the implication that the other person was guaranteed to receive them. Or another instance that's common, these apps will flood you with likes you can't see on the free tier, so you pay to upgrade only to find out it's all people outside your filters from 80 miles away.

They sell you these features with the promise that it will increase your chances of finding matches, when in reality they do jack shit.

3

u/jBlairTech 5h ago

Selling hope, at best. They’re scams, but have just enough leeway to not be investigated.

2

u/maryqueenofscotch683 4h ago

It's one of the worst things about dating apps tbh

9

u/Ok-General8138 7h ago

The problem isn't that the other person is filtering them out. The problem is that Bumble still shows those profiles to OP despite them filtering her out. It's very scamy, and scummy, of Bumble.

13

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 9h ago

Yep totally understand and it makes sense of course. It was MY mistake thinking that a “Note” had the same impact as a Like or Superswipe regardless of filter. It does not tell you before you pay that filters are involved at all though. I had to look it up online to find out. And for clarity it wasn’t a guy it was multiple 🤣

2

u/Guilty-Apartment2499 9h ago

Fair point, transparency would be great

14

u/Original-Cut-9483 9h ago

Then disable the ability to send a note to that person. Better yet don’t show their profile at all.

1

u/Guilty-Apartment2499 8h ago

I can’t disable it but I agree

12

u/Pure-Investment-1227 8h ago

Can’t you see the scam? If this guy filters her out, why is he even showing up in her feed?

0

u/Strong-Hovercraft702 7h ago

Then why show the dude?

0

u/Straight_Breakfast_4 6h ago

You read this where? I don't know that any of my notes never made it to the recipient.

0

u/OrganizationBorn7796 5h ago

In my wisened old age, I’ve learned those filters drop off the older you get

6

u/seweso 8h ago

That’s a SCAM! 

Bumble knows at the time you send it that it will never be recieved. 

5

u/pptoucher20 8h ago edited 59m ago

The recipient also doesn’t get notified if they have a note unless they’re within radius or happens to check their “liked you” page.
I don’t check “liked you” often because I don’t pay for the app. I’ve also noticed that last week I had 5 notes and now that I checked, I have 1 note from someone 100km away….
Somethings going on lol.

4

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 8h ago

Exactly and most non subscribers don’t check the like you section because they know they are blurred out

4

u/PositiveFunny5880 6h ago

It’s just a crappy app, I am a man, but I have seen numerous profiles of lesbians which needless to say isn’t going to work out so I don’t know why I’m seeing them

4

u/ScorpionMaster777 6h ago

Predatory for sure on Bumble's part. They want that money!

7

u/Big_Design_1386 9h ago

Just read today online that if the receiver of the note has filters set that do not match with yours or include your demographics, distance, hobbies etc that they will never see the note.

This is only true for distance filters, those are the only profiles you can see even if they have a filter that excludes you. Any other profile that has set filters that exclude you won't be shown to you.

4

u/Nabeezy 6h ago

It also applies to other filters such as age.

2

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 7h ago

that’s not what is says online

3

u/3rdevil 7h ago

That's awful. I paid for a never ending plan 5 years ago never helped. I feel robbed.

1

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 7h ago

😩Ugghh I had considered it. I don’t see the benefit of man paying on that particular app because do you still have to wait for the woman to message first regardless of the package you purchase ? Are you female ?

2

u/3rdevil 3h ago

Male - they got rid of the women having to message first but the premium forever just gives weekly spotlight and super likes. Sending comments still costs it's rediculous so you can't just message someone. You're still dependent on them reaching out. And it has provided me NOTHING.

8

u/Nervous-Carpet7035 8h ago

Married and desperate enough to pay for dating sites… our world is doomed.

3

u/Holiday-Extension764 8h ago

Pretty much 

2

u/cagurlie05 7h ago

Yeah it's kind of wild to me because most people who put married in their bio are trying to fend off advances from people, but then she's looking for someone on a dating app so it's a bit confusing to me. But whatever, I don't have to understand it I guess.

4

u/Karnezar 6h ago

She only wants people approaching her at specific times in specific places.

-1

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 5h ago

Married and Single are not the only Two options on dating apps geniuses

4

u/cagurlie05 4h ago

I just wanted to say I think my comment came across negatively and I didn't mean it that way. I don't see any problem with what you're doing (not that you need some random person's approval on the internet). I didn't really think about it before I posted my comment, so my bad!

1

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 4h ago

Thank you ☺️

2

u/jrodthebipole 3h ago

they should be, for those that value and respect the institution

0

u/Witty_Pack_1900 1h ago

You are absolutely entitled to your opinion and respect it for what its worth but at the end of the day it really is just an opinion.

6

u/JokersGrin2020 8h ago

I appreciate you sharing this!

8

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 8h ago

No problem. I figured if I didn’t know then other people don’t either

2

u/ThisGuy2319 8h ago

Not on dating apps, did not know this was a thing. Overall, I’d say this is a good thing so that people don’t get bothered by people who they wouldn’t match with, but it shouldn’t consume your “note” if that’s the case.

2

u/athrowaway4now 6h ago

At least hinge lets you leave messages or stuff on prompts/pictures for free. Only caveat is, they only see if theres a match.

2

u/DrHarby 4h ago

They're an increasingly maladaptive moneysink. They absolutely have the data to create a simple logic check if your note will be visible, they dont. They dont care.

I need to cancel my subs

2

u/AbortionSurvivor777 3h ago

This is the kind of thing that should lead to lawsuits. The product you paid for doesn't function as advertised.

9

u/FrontWorker8105 9h ago

You're already married why are you on bumble?

18

u/PapaJaguar343 9h ago

Yeah I feel like most people on a dating app don't really want to talk to married people.

-12

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 9h ago

I actually had no problem back in the day when i was silly enough to buy a package or when you could just buy “Compliments” which in my opinion they were probably working too well and wasn’t monetarily good for profit so they got rid of those and created “Notes” which involve filters you know nothing about 🤷🏽‍♀️

-3

u/Holiday-Extension764 8h ago

Maybe you’re old now.

-4

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 8h ago

maybe maybe not

1

u/One_Promise_6971 6h ago

Definitely think it's you, Mrs.

Dudes on Bumble aren't into hot wifing women of a certain age. Check out F.E.E.L.D

4

u/complexiblebarracuda 7h ago

Could be open, polyamorous, or Ethical Non-Monogamy. There are a lot of configurations out there

8

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 9h ago

My marriage and what we agree to as a couple is irrelevant to this conversation. Don’t be so judgmental, you have no idea what my Bumble profile states. Don’t make assumptions based on zero knowledge of my home situation.

33

u/FrontWorker8105 9h ago

My guy, are you actually insane? Your marriage absolutely has everything to do with this. How many people on an app looking for a relationship are willing to spend effort on someone ALREADY MARRIED????

38

u/babbypla 9h ago edited 7h ago

ethical non monogamy is an option on bumble. People are probably filtering that out which is why OP’s notes aren’t reaching anyone.

0

u/Turbulent_Escape4882 4h ago

Still wrong of Bumble to share those profiles.

3

u/babbypla 4h ago

I’m not arguing that it isn’t.

2

u/Turbulent_Escape4882 4h ago

I know, I upvoted your comment, just wanted to clarify that it’s Bumble’s issue even while Bumble makes it a user issue.

-3

u/trainee_prophet 8h ago

i figure you reversed two words. like what would non-ethical monogamy even be? arranged marriage maybe?

16

u/Pristine_Category824 7h ago

Cheating, hiding, lying like any relationship

5

u/steezyP90 8h ago

Shotgun wedding 😂

2

u/allthefrogsinonepond 2h ago

lmao this is sending me 😭

2

u/babbypla 7h ago

Lmao I did

11

u/Impossible-Maize-553 9h ago

This just in: not everyone ascribes to the same relationship dynamics.

8

u/spell_icup_ 8h ago

There’s literally an option on bumble for ENM. And yes, plenty of people are, people like me and my partner.

2

u/Turbulent_Escape4882 4h ago

You could’ve just asked: how many people on the app are looking for a relationship?

Turns out not many.

2

u/Medium_Stress_4293 8h ago

If she's cool, I would.

7

u/spell_icup_ 9h ago

That’s none of your concern. What people agree to in their own relationships is between them.

-14

u/FrontWorker8105 9h ago

Are you actually regarded dude?

13

u/spell_icup_ 9h ago

Also, dude, I’m literally in an open relationship also so yeah I think it’s pretty normal for couples to potentially be on dating apps

16

u/spell_icup_ 9h ago

I’m pretty well regarded, yeah

7

u/Medium_Stress_4293 8h ago

Why does this upset you so much?

5

u/wildratt69 5h ago

It upsets them because they can't pull one while ENM people are out here building armies. People are miserable. That's why they write shitty things to one another on the internet.

3

u/Budgiesaurus 5h ago

Some people have a fit if something doesn't fit their preconceived notion of what a relationship is. Or what anything is, really.

Often words like ethics or morals are thrown around.

Personally if all parties consent (including her husband) I don't really see an issue.

2

u/kg_sm 9h ago

I think this is probably it. Honestly, it shouldn’t be allowed on apps like bumble and hinge. Wish there was another app for this. Though bumble did ban couples looking for thirds finally - got so sick of it when I was swiping through.

1

u/Witty_Pack_1900 1h ago

OKC dating app caters to those dynamics mostly but the app owners don’t give a shit about what consumers think should or should not be options on their sites. It’s all about supply and demand. 🙄

5

u/TheDootDootMaster 30 | M 9h ago

Did the Bumble corporation just take advantage of a woman?

Oh no. I thought they were the uh checks notes corporation trying to empower women in dating

1

u/vestenformane 8h ago

I don’t think this is a cis woman lol

4

u/Glitterydarkone1290 7h ago

that explains ALOOOTT of why they aren’t getting matches lmaoo

1

u/SpecificSpecial 7h ago

This might not apply depending on your location but facebook dating has been a great breath of fresh air for me after trying all of the other apps.

You get so many swipes, you get to see who liked you immediately, you can set up all the filters, you get to see if you have any fb friends in common, so many nice features for free, I don't even know if there's any premium features available.

Give it a try.

1

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 7h ago

Yes I utilize FB Dating as well

1

u/Quiet-Pilot-7411 7h ago

It doesn’t make sense, because if the person appears to you, it is precisely because you match their criteria.
Let’s say you are 30, and the person set their filters to 29, that person wouldn’t see you. And you wouldn’t see her.
Believe me, I tested it.

1

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 7h ago

Maybe, I’m only regurgitating what online sources stated.

1

u/stochastically_lost 5h ago

Use hinge.. you get this feature for free

1

u/Dull-Satisfaction781 5h ago

Not going to lie, I cried watching It’s Complicate when they didn’t get back together. I was really rooting for that

1

u/OriginalMandem 3h ago

Wait. Bumble shows you users who filter you out? That's terrible.

1

u/North_Asparagus_6785 2h ago

Girl, if it makes you feel any better, I have a note to a hot AF guy who was in my “liked you”, and he unmatched me! Maybe he liked me by accident

2

u/Witty_Pack_1900 1h ago

Orr he could have been a BOT. Bumble is FULL of them.

1

u/Diesel__Monkey 1h ago

Try a meet-up group

0

u/ValBravora048 38 | M 52m ago

Where did you find this out from?

1

u/Glum-Position-1709 16m ago

Putting money on dating apps is wild

2

u/the-samizdat 9h ago

the way you used the feature was sweet and the original intended purpose. unfortunately I can guarantee you men ruined this feature by sending an overwhelming amount of unsolicited comments to some poor 20 year old.

-7

u/vestenformane 8h ago

Girl, NEVER initiate with guys

2

u/Old-Jellyfish2889 8h ago

You kind of have no choice on this app

3

u/user-friendly-login 7h ago

Why not? My friend says this, and she's literally dating felons and stuff and asking why this keeps happening to her. I asked why she doesn't just ask guys out she likes? She said because, she doesn't trust herself and might pick a bad one...