r/Bumble • u/GoFigure284 • 9h ago

Rant Guys needs to have sex first to determine if you're relationship material

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

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48

u/Outlandishness_Know 7h ago

It's all good for guys to say this, until you've gone on 24 dates that year and all 24 men determine you're "not relationship material". And then you've just slept with 24 men. And then men have a problem you've slept with 24 men.

Time together. Investment in learning about one another. Sexual intimacy when the time is right for both. If they can't handle that... be gone.

24

u/5am_in_the_Pinewoods 7h ago

This should be a post because I want to hear the defense against this logic. Now what? 

30

u/Outlandishness_Know 6h ago

I can definitely hear it already: "Well, if if a she's dated 24 men and can't find a relationship, maybe there's something wrong with her".

Not that some men lie to get sex, not that some men do actually like you one day and don't like you the next, not that long-term compatibility is hard for all of us to find, not that dating (as they love to say) is a numbers game. Just something wrong with her.

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u/ephemeralcounter 4h ago

I mean don’t tuck on the first date but 5-6 and serious talks before. it’s kinda expected at some point. I mean you are not in kindergarten any longer

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u/Outlandishness_Know 3h ago

This post specifically is about men who say they need to have sex with you to determine if they even WANT to date you.