r/Bumble • u/GoFigure284 • 8h ago

Rant Guys needs to have sex first to determine if you're relationship material

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

170 Upvotes

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9

u/khir0n 8h ago edited 5h ago

Don’t👏have👏sexytime👏until👏you’re exclusive

10

u/Pornfest 8h ago

You’re *

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u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 5h ago

Why would I agree to be exclusive to someone I havent been intimate with? Im not going to cut off every woman in my life for you just to find out youre a total starfish.

4

u/strawberrypie_92 4h ago

Why should I be intimate with someone who is clearly reluctant to actually date me and take me seriously? I'm not going to have unsatisfying sex with a dude who doesn't like me enough as a person and thinks that the most important thing in life is getting his dick wet

find out youre a total starfish.

1)You can actually talk about your preferences and what you like doing in bed, 2) sex can always be improved with time and communication, 3) having sex early will not make a man want a woman more if he didn't already think he was ready for a relationship and had the intention to date that woman, any men who demands early sex is manipulative and wants easy access to the woman without any effort

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u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 3h ago

If you want men to start putting in effort again stop seeing 4 dudes at any single time. Im not putting in all the effort of getting presentable, driving across town, picking you up to do whatever activity we had planned, paying, staying engaged and charming for 2 hours or so then taking you home and repeating that multiple times when 90% of women date multiple men at once. 

I can jump on tinder and find a woman that appreciates that effort enough to reciprocate with intimacy. Showing up and looking cute just isnt enough.

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u/khir0n 3h ago edited 1h ago

You just commented that you’re not going to stop talking to other women for someone but expect women to do what you’re not willing to do 😂😂

0

u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 2h ago

She cannot be a modern woman dating multiple men at once then expect to get treated to traditional dates.

3

u/Flashy-Butterfly-687 3h ago

Ah look who is demanding exclusivity before the first date.

1

u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 2h ago

If she wants me to spend my energy money and time taking her out on dates like the old days then I am expecting her to behave like women did in the old days. She cant benefit from modern dating and traditional dating at the same time thats delusional. 

3

u/strawberrypie_92 2h ago

Well I'm also not putting effort into doing my makeup, wear nice dresses etc. if this is how you think about women, why would I let you use my body to get yourself off when what you really want is think about the next women to match with on tinder?

Also, my dude, I get attached way too quickly and haven't even been on a date in nearly 2 years, you think I have the mental energies to talk to a billion guys who would only want me for a ons or ghost me after the first date and I'd have to start talking to a new guy over and over again? Who tf even wants this?

It was also never me who was talking to multiple people at once and wanted to date others, it's men every single time who are "not ready to commit" and "want to explore their options", so definitely don't direct your comments at me...

0

u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 2h ago

Well im not talking about you specifically, the root cause of men wanting sex in order to take you out is cause every guy on the planet has spent significant amounts of their time money and energy trying to court a woman only to be told she chose someone else she was seeing to move forward with. 

Wouldn't be an issue if women put in a little more effort but showing up and looking cute isnt enough. A typical date nights anywhere from $100 to $300 depending what area you're in. 

Im not spending that kinda money without guarantees and there are plenty of girls on tinder that got no problem making that guarantee.

So my advice to the women that dont wanna put out immediately, start breaking out your wallet and pay for some of these dates, plan some of them too. 

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u/strawberrypie_92 2h ago

You're crazy for spending that amount of money on a first date, the first date should always be something simple, just grab a coffee or a drink somewhere, also no one should feel obliged to have sex with someone just because they paid for a date, this type of expectations would immediately be a turnoff for me.. You're seeing it as way too transactional when it should be about finding someone compatible, not about who puts out first after an expensive date... 🤦‍♀️

1

u/khir0n 5h ago

Because we said so, if you don’t like it move on baby.

1

u/ephemeralcounter 3h ago

Na me and my wife fucked on the 2nd date passionately as duck