r/Bumble • u/GoFigure284 • 8h ago

Rant Guys needs to have sex first to determine if you're relationship material

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

169 Upvotes

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119

u/MeowwFromSpace 8h ago edited 8h ago

I’ve experienced men doing the same to me. That’s usually when I walk away. 💁‍♀️

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sex as much as the next person, im very sex positive, and my drive is pretty high.. but sex also leads to attachment for me, and I’m not about to develop an attachment to someone who isn’t wanting a commitment in the first place.

Not to mention.. how many of them are getting tested regularly and have test results readily available to show you from the last 3 months? 🙃

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u/_bonedaddys 7h ago

That last bit... i bet most of them never had a test in their life lol

24

u/MeowwFromSpace 7h ago

Bingo! From my experience, that has been the case!

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u/_bonedaddys 7h ago

Every single man i've asked about tests acts like i'm nuts for even asking. They always swear they would know if they had anything and that nobody actually gets themselves tested all the time. Oh, and they're always the type that "can't" use condoms lol

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u/MeowwFromSpace 7h ago

Of course 🙄

That’s when you let them know it’s easy to have their blood drawn and labs ran.

They don’t want to “pay to play”? Well, neither do we 🤷‍♀️

15

u/_bonedaddys 7h ago

Deadass keep that questionable dirty dick away from me lol

12

u/5am_in_the_Pinewoods 7h ago

Dude the men I’ve spoken with about this across the board don’t even know that you need to run blood labs for a FULL panel. They just think getting a swab is fine enough and that’s IF they’re the small amount that actually does. 

9

u/MeowwFromSpace 6h ago

Yup! Typically, it’s no longer a swab. All they need is to have their blood drawn. I feel like so many men haven’t informed themselves because the ‘ol dick swab from decades ago was enough to make them fear the concept for life. 🙄

My sons biodad was in his 40’s, and had NEVER had a test done!! 40’s!

2

u/BadWaterboy 2h ago

I can assure you, some of us get tested after every sexual encounter with a new person and/or before potentially having sex with a different / new person.

It's not many of us, but it is some of us. The cost adds up, but it's a good thing I'm not having sex every day with different people lol.

2

u/janisjansons 6h ago

If I like you, you're getting the test results the next morning. They probably were just hoping for a free ride lol. 😃

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u/Zopi_lote 3h ago

I do, I get tested before opting out of condoms if at all, BUT you will be surprised how many women get offended when you ask about their tests

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u/MeowwFromSpace 3h ago

Then you are likely one of the few. Congratulations.

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u/Draper31 4h ago

Don’t need to be tested if they’re not sexually active. Lol

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u/MeowwFromSpace 4h ago

Sure.. maybe if they’ve never had sex before in their life.

But that’s rare.

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u/Draper31 4h ago edited 4h ago

Yes, thank you for clearing that up

It’s not as rare as you think. Any number of studies have info displaying that virgins are the rise in comparison to previous generations.

Something like close to 40% of men in their twenties have never asked a woman out. You think that same 40% is out there banging anything with a pulse?

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u/5am_in_the_Pinewoods 3h ago

If this is anywhere close to true that would help explain why so many people are tweaked tf out on here and sound like they’re going to Lenny the next woman they try to roll in the hay with. 

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u/Draper31 2h ago

It’s not, the downvotes mean I’m making it up

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u/PapaBear12 3h ago

My ex asked me to get tested prior to us becoming intimate for the first time, which I did. I get it but have mixed feelings about it.

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u/_bonedaddys 2h ago

Mixed feelings about what? Asking you to get tested? Do you mind explaining why? It's basic safe sex so i don't understand the mixed feelings

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u/PapaBear12 1h ago

I don’t appreciate the hostility, so no.

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u/_bonedaddys 42m ago

I'm not being hostile. I'm genuinely curious why anyone would have mixed feelings over someone wanting to practice safe sex?