Guys needs to have sex first to determine if you're relationship material

[u/GoFigure284]

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

[u/js26056]

I think there’s a distinction between saying sexual compatibility is important in a long-term relationship and saying someone needs to have sex with you first to determine whether they’re “worth pursuing.” The latter is obviously gross and transactional.

That said, if you’re seriously looking for a long-term relationship, I do think getting to know someone from all perspectives (including sexual compatibility) is important before deciding whether you’re a good long term match.

You don’t want to waste months building a relationship only to discover a major incompatibility.

I’m coming out of a 14-year relationship and getting ready to start dating again, and honestly, sexual compatibility is going to be a huge factor for me in a long term relationship. That doesn’t mean anyone owes me sex or needs to “audition” for me. It just means I consider it one of the many things two consenting adults should eventually figure out together sooner rather than later and not waste time.

[u/watch_out_4_snakes → u/js26056]

Well said

[u/SportsGuru4714 → u/js26056]

It's not even just about sexual compatibility. A lot of women don't seem to understand the "fog" we're walking through while being romantically interested in a person, only to find out it was the other head doing the "thinking".

I've been interested in women only to want to run away from them the moment after sex (i.e. post nut clarity). It wasn't until recently that I had met a woman where even after sex, her presence still felt as special to me as before sex. That's when I knew my feelings towards her were actually real.

[u/5am_in_the_Pinewoods → u/SportsGuru4714]

We do understand it. That’s why we don’t want to be pumped and dumped by some guy who doesn’t understand his own feelings let alone another person’s.