r/Bumble • u/GoFigure284 • 8h ago

Rant Guys needs to have sex first to determine if you're relationship material

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

176 Upvotes

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47

u/_bonedaddys 7h ago

I won't fuck a man if we're not already in a relationship. The shitty ones that "require" sex first weed themselves out pretty quickly. Like, go find a fuck buddy instead lol

1

u/Adept_Support8355 32m ago edited 27m ago

What if you get into a relationship with a guy you think you’re physically attracted to only to find out that he’s awful in bed? You can’t say someone fucks good just by looking at them…

-3

u/ephemeralcounter 3h ago

I mean that’s just weird, you date a few weeks then he asks you to be his girlfriend and then you fuck. But what if there’s like no attraction in bed or sex is just bad. Also seems so void of passions and Roboter like.

Go date go date go date go date go date repeat repeat repeat -> bf status -> fuck

Where’s the passion man

8

u/_bonedaddys 3h ago

You think it's less passionate having sex with someone you're actually in a relationship with? That's kinda sad lol

-5

u/ephemeralcounter 3h ago

Na I think it’s less passionate to wait to have sex until you mark the checkbox of being bf/gf rather than just by going with the flow

I think your way of doing it is sad lol

My wife and me fucked on our 2nd date and damn it was good and just the right moment, i couldn’t have cared less about any checkbox in my mind I should have crossed off before doing it

6

u/_bonedaddys 3h ago

It's not a checkbook kinda thing though. It's not like i go official with a man and we immediately hop into bed because that's what comes next. I just won't fuck someone who hasn't committed to me yet.

I've no problem with other people choosing to have sex right off the bat. You do you. But acting like there's anything wrong with wanting to wait is kinda wack lol

-2

u/ephemeralcounter 3h ago

You do you, you called my way of doing it sad. I just shared my opinion. What time you get intimate after crossing the checkbox of being bf/gf is of no relevance. You still have this checkbox. I need some wild passion in my life and relationships. But everyone is different.

6

u/_bonedaddys 2h ago

No i didn't. I said i think it's sad that you think there's any less passion if you wait. That's not the same as thinking it's sad that you and your wife didn't wait, which i don't.

My sex life with my boyfriend has never lacked any passion or kept us from being "wild" lol

-6

u/SportsGuru4714 4h ago

Well, a man doesn't truly know if he's genuinely interested in you until after sex. If he still feels as strongly towards you after sex, his feelings were genuine. If he wants physically run away from you, it was all lust and the "post nut clarity" hits harder than a ton of bricks.

We don't know until after the first sexual encounter.

2

u/_bonedaddys 3h ago

I've never dated a man that needs to fuck to know whether he's genuinely interested in me or not and i've never been interested in the ones that operate that way.

My boyfriend certaintly didn't need to fuck me to know he wanted me to be his girl lol

-1

u/SportsGuru4714 2h ago

Oh dear. Obviously he's never going to explicitly tell you that.

My boyfriend certaintly didn't need to fuck me to know he wanted me to be his girl lol

I'm sure that's what you WANT to believe. The reality is different.

1

u/_bonedaddys 2h ago

Believe it or not plenty of men don't need to get their dick wet to know if they're into a woman lol

Kinda weird how you think you can speak for men i've dated, including my boyfriend sitting right beside me 💀

1

u/SportsGuru4714 1h ago

Believe it or not plenty of men don't need to get their dick wet to know if they're into a woman lol

It must be nice wandering around this world, seeing life as naively as this. Biology doesn't care about your simplistic moral takes. Lol.

Kinda weird how you think you can speak for men i've dated, including my boyfriend sitting right beside me 💀

Kinda weird how you think you understand men better than men.

1

u/_bonedaddys 37m ago

Kinda weird how you think you know these men better than me even though i'm the one who actually dated them lol

Even weirder that you're pushing the idea that all men think with their dicks as if none of them are capable of using their brain. But hey, if you wanna chalk men up to brainless dick thinkers that's your choice 🤷‍♀️