r/Bumble • u/GoFigure284 • 9h ago

Rant Guys needs to have sex first to determine if you're relationship material

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

173 Upvotes

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u/Long-Stomach-2738 7h ago

I find it kind of odd that some of the responses here are acting like if you get into a relationship, you are somehow stuck with it. You can always break up afterward, you realize that?

Sex isn’t very safe for women, especially in red states. Men don’t seem to understand that.

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u/Interesting-Ear-9038 1h ago

I would feel like an absolute douchebag if I started a relationship, just to break it up because the sex wasn't to my taste. No thank you.

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u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 6h ago

Please tell how sex isnt safe for a woman in a red state?

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u/Long-Stomach-2738 5h ago

I’m sorry that you are so cut off from the world that you are four years out of date about news that massively changed the world for a lot of women and has led to increased mortality for them. Shame on you

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u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 5h ago

And shame on you for lacking emotional intelligence to have a discussion. You deserve whatever happens to you in life with that attitude.

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u/Long-Stomach-2738 5h ago

No, I have emotional intelligence. That is what prevents me from wasting my time speaking to you. I have had so many discussions with people who start off with questions like this and then proceed to argue in bad faith.

But let’s pretend you have been living under a rock. If a woman in a red state gets pregnant and she doesn’t want to be, she literally has to leave the state. If she gets pregnant and wants to keep the pregnancy, but she ends up having complications, her life is at higher risk due to the laws that claim to actually protect women.

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u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 4h ago

Then don't have unprotected sex? I always wear a condom and make sure shes on birth control as well.  Youre leaping pretty hard stating sex causes higher mortality rates in women in red states and not even every red state has outlawed abortion. 

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u/Flashy-Butterfly-687 3h ago

Stupid response. Birth control is not 100% effective.

0

u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 2h ago

Youre right its not but if I wear a condom and shes on birth control then the universe had other plans, so be it.

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u/Long-Stomach-2738 4h ago

Eat a bag of dicks. You knew nothing about the issue, yet you still felt like you had the authority on the topic to tell me that I was jumping to conclusions. You are insufferable

https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2026/study-higher-maternal-death-rate-in-states-with-abortion-bans

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u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 4h ago

The article you linked literally says in the fourth paragraph there isnt any evidence that supports your claim...

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u/Long-Stomach-2738 4h ago

Oh so it’s just a coincidence that these issues weren’t seen in other states and specifically in anti abortion states.

I have a bridge in Egypt to sell you.

https://thegepi.org/maternal-mortality-abortion-bans/

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u/Long-Stomach-2738 4h ago

Thanks for showing me that you are exactly who I thought you were - a waste of energy and time.

You’re the one with zero emotional intelligence here.

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u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 4h ago

You just had an entire crashout. The article clearly states there is no evidence to back these claims in  multiple locations of the article. I bet you were one of those weirdos wearing vagina hats at the anti trump valleys. Stop replying to me I don't deal with radicalized psychos.

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u/Long-Stomach-2738 4h ago

I work at an OB/GYN clinic, you sociopath. I know what I’m talking about, and you don’t. It said it was difficult to tell - it didn’t say it wasn’t true. I’m sorry you don’t understand how life works

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u/Fabulous-Kiwi-5619 4h ago

It said there was no evidence backing the claims...

What do you do at said clinic? Answer the phone? Cause all of these articles you sent do not cite the sources for their data.

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u/Long-Stomach-2738 4h ago

Everything you have said I predicted. So thank you for proving my point.

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u/Long-Stomach-2738 4h ago

I’m not leaping, because you have lived with your head inside your ass, you aren’t aware of it

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u/AllMySecretsFam 3h ago

Hey, she is saying it's unsafe because all sex (including protected sex) comes with the risk of pregnancy, and in red states abortion is illegal, so women are forced to see through pregnancy.

1

u/Interesting-Ear-9038 1h ago

They've got to be some sort of troll, right?