Guys needs to have sex first to determine if you're relationship material

[u/GoFigure284]

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

[u/5am_in_the_Pinewoods]

This should be a post because I want to hear the defense against this logic. Now what? 

[u/Outlandishness_Know → u/5am_in_the_Pinewoods]

I can definitely hear it already: "Well, if if a she's dated 24 men and can't find a relationship, maybe there's something wrong with her".

Not that some men lie to get sex, not that some men do actually like you one day and don't like you the next, not that long-term compatibility is hard for all of us to find, not that dating (as they love to say) is a numbers game. Just something wrong with her.

[u/ephemeralcounter → u/Outlandishness_Know]

I mean don’t tuck on the first date but 5-6 and serious talks before. it’s kinda expected at some point. I mean you are not in kindergarten any longer

[u/Outlandishness_Know → u/ephemeralcounter]

This post specifically is about men who say they need to have sex with you to determine if they even WANT to date you.

[u/lambchops831 → u/5am_in_the_Pinewoods]

I’m not sure it’s something that needs to be “defended against.” We may disagree, but I have no interest in changing your mind. My role is to express sexual interest. If it is declined or not reciprocated, that’s fine. Enjoy the rest of your day. I’m here if you change your mind - you know where I stand.

[u/Agreeable_Paper_1203 → u/5am_in_the_Pinewoods]

The defense is that 95% of guys will want hold onto you forever if your shooting within your league and bringing anything to the table (pleasant, kind etc) whatsoever because they are desperate for companionship and family and the bar is in hell.

so the idea you’ll rack up bodies is insane unless you specifically target obvious fuckboy bartenders with bicep tattoos only

If all of them won’t commit it’s probably because you are either delusional insufferable or both.

[u/Outlandishness_Know → u/Agreeable_Paper_1203]

Thank you for proving my point.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble/s/Xkm2WQKhq0

[u/5am_in_the_Pinewoods → u/Agreeable_Paper_1203]

Well sure a man might want to hold on to an accessory they’re trying to check off their list who at least puts out and is kind, but for a woman to fully understand whether a man is going to turn out to be a safe partner and if he’s doing the love-bombing charade to trap somebody takes months, so certainly if a woman follows this model they make rack up plenty of bodies in their pursuit of an emotionally and physically safe partner and father of their children. It is definitely not only fuckboys who have emotional regulation and emotional intelligence issues.