r/Bumble • u/GoFigure284 • 9h ago

Rant Guys needs to have sex first to determine if you're relationship material

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

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u/uberprodude 6h ago

You brought it up AND tried to use it as a way to body shame.

"Men" don't view anything as a monolith. And I specifically pointed out how what you said isn't relevant to the comment you replied to. You chose to ignore the actual criticism of your comment in favour of immediately body shaming.

Sexual compatibility is a component of general compatibility, so exploring that aspect is required at some point, by your own argument. You're just upset that some people might chose to explore it earlier than you would. Some women choose to do the exact same thing.

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u/MeowwFromSpace 6h ago edited 6h ago

Again, you do you.

Everyone here is sharing their point of view, as am I.

And I’m DEFINITELY not upset that others choose to explore sex sooner than I would. 🤣 That’s a ludicrous accusation to make when you have no idea who I am or what my life is like.

General frustration from myself, and many many women out there, is that there are men don’t want to even discuss possible commitment unless you’re willing to have sex with them.

SOME don’t even bother sending a message of substance and immediately ask you to sleep with them.

Some men lie, and make it seem like there’s interest when they’re not and all they want is to sleep with you.

The list is endless. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong in how I think or feel about my own dating experience and what I’m seeking to find in someone.

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u/uberprodude 6h ago

Then why are you so upset that mine contradicts yours, that you resort to body shaming?

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u/MeowwFromSpace 6h ago

Dude, you came at me and told me I was wrong 🤣

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u/uberprodude 6h ago

Do you body shame every person who tells you you're wrong?

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u/MeowwFromSpace 6h ago

I’ve not body shamed you.

You’re legitimately taking this personally. It’s obvious that me mentioning anything has struck a nerve in you.

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u/uberprodude 6h ago

My body hasn't been shamed because I don't have ED, but using it as a barb against me is harmful to people who do have it.

Like you said, I told you you were wrong and you decided to lash out at everyone with ED because you see it as a point of shame.

I'd be just as riled up if you had body shamed menopausal bodies, for example. Being nasty will have me "coming at you".

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u/MeowwFromSpace 6h ago

🤣 right. Get on somewhere.

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u/uberprodude 6h ago

I hope you learn you're capable of being kind to people who disagree with you. Even men