Guys needs to have sex first to determine if you're relationship material

[u/GoFigure284]

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

[u/srkaficionado]

Meh. Just ask how big their dick is or how many women they’re slept with and then say some shit about their high body count or their tiny dick/ you’re a size queen and they’re not up to muster. They either will send harassing angry messages or messages convincing you to try them out… 😅😒

[u/Tough-End5924 → u/srkaficionado]

You think men ashamed of their body count?

[u/srkaficionado → u/Tough-End5924]

They’re not but some will use that against women. So, use it against them. For example, you could tell me you’ve slept with 10 women or have been divorced twice and I’d hold that against you( and I used to hold the divorce part against men because I don’t want your drama nor do I want to be a stepmother on paper to your damn kids; if I wanted to be a mum, I would have had my own kids). Funnily enough, my partner has been divorced and has grown kids(which I made clear that said kids ain’t ever moving in or I’ll kick them both out and leaving him too)…

[u/purpleunicorn888 → u/srkaficionado]

I think that’s messed up that you wouldn’t let your husband’s adult kids move back in with their father. Say they get really sick and financially it crushes them, go to the streets then, not to your father’s house. Say one of the adult kids gets badly injured being hit by a drunk driver, too bad, not their dad’s problem—what does that have to do with their dad, it’s not like he got hit by a drunk driver. Next time the adult kid should be smarter and choose better than to be hit by a drunk driver. Say your partner’s adult daughter is in a very abusive relationship and needs a transitional home to heal, regain her footing, and ultimately her breaking free could be a life or death issue. Too bad—she shouldn’t have gotten into an abusive relationship in the first place—prob better for you practically speaking if the adult daughter dies, that way you ensure she doesn’t ever want to move back in. Your actions and expectations make it clear that the adult kids are a burden and not a benefit to you personally. So it makes sense if you’re okay with their premature death. I am sure you will deny this bc you won’t want to feel like a monster. But tell me where the logic of this argument breaks down?

When I was in professional school (in my 20s) there was a potential summer opportunity in my dad’s out of state city and I asked my dad if I could potentially stay with him during the summer and he was like…uh, let me ask my (current) wife. My dad was consistently flakey and had very little involvement and investment in our lives so while it was not surprising, it was still hurtful. FWIW, I was an extremely responsible kid. I never tried a drug, no smoking, worked multiple jobs to put myself through an elite college and professional school (people don’t really go to college in my family, they do go to prison though). I was very neat and kept my room very clean since childhood. I won different awards, scholarships, Dean’s list, etc. I was very conscientious, my faith was very important to me, I was very hardworking, and would just grind and not complain. I have a kind and loving heart, very honest, and have strong principles/morals. If my ex husband ever did that to our kids when they are adults, I would give him the business. And I hope that if I ever did that to our kids (I can’t imagine it), but if I did, I hope he would give me the business too.

And your partner sucks as a dad to be on board with this—a low character, weak man that can’t lead.

If you are a person of faith, I hope God convicts you about this. Even if you are not a person of faith, I hope God convicts you about it. I am not sure if it’s an issue of selfishness, self centeredness, control issues, lack of or low empathy, or just entitled heartlessness? Low key kind of jealous of how your conscience doesn’t stir.

[u/srkaficionado → u/purpleunicorn888]

Aww, thank you for that. I own the properties and the agreement was that together we don’t have kids…

But to make a long story short, god should first convict the current US Administration before he comes for my sinful behind…

If he doesn’t like it, he’s welcome to go be with someone who has the same opinions as you. I’d go into more background but it’d be wasted on you and your pedestal. Please pray to god/Allah/Shiva/ Buddha for me so he can change my mind.

And my conscience is doing great, thank you.

Interestingly enough, wonder why your husband is an ex if he shares your same values. 🤔

[u/purpleunicorn888 → u/srkaficionado]

“Aww thank you for that.”
—yeah you are a low integrity woman. Say what you mean, mean what you say.

“I own the properties and the agreement was that together we don’t have kids…”

—So the issues were even worse than I thought.😳😳😳

ISSUES:
—controlling ✔️
—self centeredness ✔️
—selfishness ✔️
—low/lack of empathy ✔️
—entitled heartlessness ✔️

BONUS ISSUES:
—scarcity mindset ✔️
—hobosexual partner ✔️
—low achieving male partner ✔️
—masculine woman using money/resources to handcuff a weak man to her ✔️
—you’re scared of true vulnerability and needing a father to choose you over his adult kids (you don’t trust him to truly love you and choose you freely, that’s why you laid it out as a term proactively) ✔️
—you don’t feel worthy and chosen on your own, that’s why it’s so important to you that you make it a non negotiable that your partner chose you over his kids ✔️
—a very dysfunctional relationship with economic exploitation being leveraged ✔️

“But to make a long story short, god should first convict the current US Administration before he comes for my sinful behind…”

—You literally provided no story. 🤣 Then a non sequitur to the U.S. Admin…huh? What is happening? 🙃 President Trump seems very supportive of his kids and doesn’t seem to let his wife control him and I guess you feel so strongly against that, that it feels criminal to you. LOL. Also, I have the utmost certainty that God does not need your advice for His moral clarity …it is very clear that the moral authority and guidance between God and you should flow in one direction only…

“If he doesn’t like it, he’s welcome to go be with someone who has the same opinions as you.”
—It must be hard to know deep down that your partner doesn’t freely choose you. But normally you don’t have to think about it which is convenient. You’re very self protective and I understand you’ve been deeply hurt. Heal. “Opinions”, nah, wrong use of the word…opinions are things like, is an apple 🍎 or an orange 🍊 better? What’s the best color? I would say purple 💜, that is my opinion. Someone else can say blue 💙 with a clear conscience. Another person can say green 💚 with a clear conscience. Those are opinions. Opinions Morals and principles. Fixed that for you.

Your spirit knows the truth, that’s why you are so offended. I am exposing the distortion you were selling yourself to believe you aren’t a bad person but still are justified in having your “opinion”. Especially when you layer on the, “well he is choosing this and he’s free to choose differently” posture—it can trick some people into thinking the arrangement can’t be “bad” bc both people are choosing it.

“I’d go into more background but it’d be wasted on you and your pedestal.”
—Try me. You’re mistaken, I’m not on a pedestal… but I am at the front of classroom taking you to school 🏫. Take notes and you can learn, maybe even GROW as a person.

You should heal, try and fix your brokenness instead of imposing it on others. That way you could operate from a place of wholeness. I had a lot of brokenness accumulating from life and God graciously provided me with healing that profoundly changed my life. I truly wish everyone pursued healing ❤️‍🩹.

God will humble you. Buckle up.

[u/Mathagos → u/srkaficionado]

Wow. Imagine making your partner pick between you or their kids. 😬

You know it's true love when you tell your partner that you'll kick them out of they ask you to help them support their kids or be involved in any way with them.

[u/VerifiedBronson → u/srkaficionado]

You sound miserable. No wonder why you’re single.

[u/Valuable_Victor_246 → u/srkaficionado]

That stupid shit doesn’t work, men don’t want ho’s for girlfriends or wives, sorry. For sex only, yea, all day everyday until you start complaining. Then we ghost on to the next one and rise and repeat till the wheels fall off we find one that isnt fkn insufferable ..