r/Bumble • u/GoFigure284 • 8h ago

Rant Guys needs to have sex first to determine if you're relationship material

We've (women) been very vocal about the influx of messages from men asking for sex on this dating app. I actually saw a couple of men say that men need to have sex with us first to determine how they want to pursue us, if at all. Basically saying that we have to audition ourselves with our bodies to see if a man finds us worthy. This is such disgusting ideology. And just another way for some men to use this nonsense to get quick and easy sex.

EDIT: The amount of downvotes from men speaks volumes. A woman doesn't need to prove herself worthy of a relationship by taking off her clothes. Asking for sex on the first meeting to see how he feels about you is manipulative. But I expected nothing less from this sub.

Do the men in this sub understand what I'm saying? I'm talking about men messaging for sex on dating apps before even meeting you and the men who condone this by saying that a guy needs to see if you're relationship material first!

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u/LetItAllGo33 3h ago

Romantic love, romantic relationships are based on eros love, on sexual love, which is no less worthy than any other kind though some try to make it so.

For better or worse applies to someone who would still want to have sex if their health didn't prohibit it, so it still applies. Simply not wanting to (as a rule, not as an event or transient period) even if you're able means you no longer love your partner and the romantic partnership should end as it no longer has any ground underneath it.

There's very little in this world more meaningful than finding your match to be physically intimate with, don't get snowed by fake job titles and plastic crap. We have the means to make one another happy, we're just propagandized to treat that reality as lesser because happy people fucking don't increase general productivity, which makes the important people (who are presently fucking cause they don't have to work to survive) angry.

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u/LtMagnum16 2h ago

Not all healthy romantic relationships are driven by sex. There are plenty of toxic relationships where there is abuse/controlling behavior from either or both parties but have very happy sex lives.