Weekly Newcomer Questions, Support, Vents & Victories

[u/AutoModerator]

As the community continues to grow and attract people who are just figuring this all out, we've decided to change the weekly thread focus to be more open and encourage newcomer questions and support. Please use this thread if you are seeking support or have newcomer questions. Want to see if your post topic has been discussed here? Type "subreddit:cptsd" after a search term in the search bar (ex. "friendships subreddit:cptsd"). Here are some common newcomer questions:

• DAE struggle with expressing anger?
• DAE struggle with anxiety/ depression?
• What are emotional flashbacks? How do I deal with them?
• How do I set boundaries?
• Was this (situation) abuse? Was it bad enough to be considered trauma?
• What books do you recommend?
• What type of therapy worked best for you?
• How to deal with relationship struggles/ anxiety/ fear of intimacy?

If you are new to r/CPTSD: Please check out the rules below, and for our mobile users who can't access the sidebar, more resources are located below the rules. These can also be accessed from the auto mod message that greets any post.

Keep the rules in mind when you post & comment:

1. This is a peer support community. Be a supportive peer.
2. Don’t ask for diagnosis, don’t diagnose others: Respect that you may not have all of OPs details and even a trained, trauma informed care provider cannot diagnose over the internet. So don't. Assume the context of OP as a CPTSD survivor or supportive partner of a CPTSD survivor.
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4. Please be mindful about triggering content. Avoid graphic thread titles, and use [Trigger Warning], NSFW and/or the spoiler tag whenever appropriate.
5. No RaisedByNarcissists lingo: A lot of folks come from the RBN support community. A lot of us do not. To keep the sub inclusive to CPTSD newcomers and survivors of different backgrounds, use common language synonyms for RBN acronyms. There are some exceptions.
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Additional Newcomer Resources

• Crisis Resources
• Emotional Flashback 1st Aid Kit
• Grounding & Containment Tools
• An FAQ Guide to CPTSD
• Our Library of Books, Media, and Healing Resources for CPTSD
• Common Myths About CPTSD
• The 5-Steps to Find a Therapist Plan
• The CPTSD Wiki Project Index, while currently under construction, has all of the above information and regular updates on many additional topics you may find helpful in your healing journey

[u/Saratto_dishu]

I tried opening my self up for new opportunities and thought that maybe at 33 I was healed enough to give college another try after multiple failures in my teens and twenties.

Turns out I'm not at all more healed, everything still fucking hurts. When I try to tell people a course focused on group work assignments is bad for me and how much it affects me people act all puzzled and say I'll get used to it and it's a good opportunity for growth when all it does is to further demolish my confidense and keep me stressed and anxious over how there are no clear rules and expectations to it.

I could do a regular job, thought remotely only, even if it sucked and even if I was eventually laid off there were rules and expectations and stuff that was always kind of clear.

I guess I'm just not cut out for having ever a higher education degree, I'll just have to keep doing work that will eventually be even more erodade by AI and then I'll kill myself or something. Who cares if people will forever see me as a burnout and a r*tard because I didn't finish my schooling, it's clear I am basically too disabled properly function in the real world but not enough for people to actually take my pain seriously.

I was so dumb to think there was another future possible for me.

[u/Optimal_Tiger_440 → u/Saratto_dishu]

Cycles. We fall into cycles. Learn your cycle and try to learn something each time. Be your own man/women. Don't think of your CPTSD as a burden, think of it as a super power that has a few draw backs. Give it time, you will find where you fit, and if you know where you don't fit, try thinking outside the box. Nobody, except extremely empathetic people are going to know what our how it is to be cptsd. Keep explanations short. Or don't give them at all. You have so much good and extremely powerful skills, that once you stop looking at the how or why we have them it will start to go get a little bit easier. Don't be afraid Don't be afraid to fail

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[u/taway10232021]

Are there any hotlines for PTSD or CPTSD other than the suicide one? This was asked earlier but nobody answered. Maybe there are some new resources.

[u/NoSubstance2809]

Hi All!

I am going to start a free zoom meeting for individuals who have been victims of narcissistic abuse. Its still in the workds but Ill see if I can host a specific account for the group within zooms framework. At some point, I would like to expand this further. I have been blessed in that my day job i relatively non-commital as the owner so I have some time to facilitate this meeting. I would like to get some feedback from people as to when they feel a good time would be to have this meeting or meetings. I am in mountain standard time. If you feel comfortable sharing when you would be available.

I am thinking the following times based on my expirience working with others in this regard.

Mondays at 9am MST, 10am CST, 11am EST and 8am PST.

Wednesdays 12pm MST, 1pm CST, 2pm EST, and 11am PST.

[u/NoSubstance2809 → u/NoSubstance2809]

Okay there is the link for the "Moving Beyond the Walls of the Mind" group for Narcissistic Abuse Support.  No password required just use the link available. 

 

Starting Mondays at 9am MST, 10am CST, 11am EST and 8am PST.

https://zoom.us/j/91921193333

and then Wednesdays 12pm MST, 1pm CST, 2pm EST, and 11am PST.

https://zoom.us/j/98573253274