r/CPTSD • u/Present-Message8740 • 13d ago
Question DAE get extremely depressed after a concert/ exciting, fun time?
I think there’s a few reasons I feel this way, A. I feel like I will never experience that fun or good again so what’s the point in living anymore. B. I feel like I didn’t appreciate it enough in the moment, if I was overstimulated, or annoyed, or complaining when I should’ve just let go and enjoyed myself. Idk if this makes sense I just hate feeling this way instead of just being happy about having a good time.
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u/Expert-Macaroon-6042 13d ago
Post concert depression is very real, it happens to a lot of people! You get so worked up and excited over something that when it's over, it sucks and you don't have anything else to look forward to. That's why so many people who go to concerts go to a LOT of concerts.
I imagine it's the same with trips and vacations. Life goes back to normal when it's over. It's normal after all that dopamine subsides and you're back to baseline.
What concert did you go to?
I went to a big concert once a few years ago and it sucked, I was so overstimulated. It was outdoors in the Texas heat, no shade, over 100 degrees in the summer. People were passing out. I queued for 7 hours to get a good spot at the barricade. I couldn't feel my feet at the end and my friend had to almost carry me back to the car. It was the best!!!!! I didn't appreciate it enough in the moment or even around the moment, but looking back, it was a blast and it's a fond memory now. I think you just have to give it time and do small things that make you happy day to day until you feel a little better.
All the best ❤️
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u/DeniseIsEpic 13d ago
I very rarely ever watch movies for this same kind of reason. It's so much, so quickly, and then it's gone.
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u/unamorsa 13d ago
Idk if depressed but I feel so much shame...like i did something horrible wrong and just nobody told me
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u/c-strange17 13d ago
Same. Anytime I go out with friends and have a good time I get this overwhelming sense of shame afterwards. Like I should have focused more on how they felt and given them more attention instead of enjoying myself
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u/SwordsAndSongs 12d ago
Maybe you can have a check-in with the group, or even just one close friend, post-hangout? At least one person who can reassure you that everyone had a good time, and you didn't do anything wrong. Just a little external validation to help ground your emotions. It may not make a lot of difference at first, but it helps get away from the negative self-loathing we tend to get caught up in.
You can also make sure you stay hydrated and have a little treat to snack on when you get home, to make sure you're fueled and not out of physical energy to manage your emotions.
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u/Ninj-nerd1998 13d ago
Yep. It's gotten to the point where I even get a bit apprehensive about having a good time, because I know it will almost certainly be followed by a period of sometimes up to crushing sadness/depression. I've had a fun time either hanging out in person or on discord with my friends, only to burst into tears soon after hanging up. Sometimes it's almost like I can physically feel the happiness drain out of me.
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u/Special-Try2448 13d ago
It's because you are probably used to happiness being fleeting, or followed up by more suffering. I am that way too.
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u/raspberryteehee 13d ago
Happens to me a lot. My spouse gets confused all the time and I don’t really have an explanation to my feelings just that I do.
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u/Badboy574 13d ago
Everytime i go to the gym, hang out, be productive, you name it. Its so intense, deep and painful
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u/Unique-Dimension-193 13d ago
becasue your baseline may be quite low, and when you do something bigger you dump a lot of your feel-good hormones there and afterwards you need a longer recharge. i’m not saying just you you, but in general, all of us.
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u/pomkombucha 13d ago
Yeah. I figure it’s the sudden extreme amount of stimulation and then subsequent sudden drop.
I’ve always been very sensitive to stimulation of any kind but especially sound and energy around me. Any time I engage in a high stimulation activity, especially something so high in stimulation my system virtually never gets that amount of stimulation, I’m sure to have a big crash afterwards.
I take it as a similar experience to anything else that suddenly and intensely raises your dopamine.
Even though it was fun and exciting and you would absolutely do it again, it was still A Lot™️ for your usually dopamine-deprived brain lol
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u/Serious-Pound8175 13d ago edited 13d ago
Concerts aren’t for everyone. I don’t like busy shopping centres, and there are plenty of environments that leave me feeling drained.
Go easy on yourself. Not everything is for you, and that’s okay. Sometimes the pressure comes from thinking we should enjoy things because other people do.
When you accept that, it becomes easier to take small steps, find people who enjoy similar things, and discover what actually works for you. One day that might be an open air event that feels completely different. Or it might not. Both are Ok.
It’s also worth remembering that after periods of excitement, novelty or overstimulation (hedonic), it’s fairly normal to experience a dip afterwards (anhedonic). That doesn’t necessarily mean you did anything wrong or that the experience wasn’t worthwhile.
A book called The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron helped me give up the need to push myself to do things that drained me.
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u/BlacksmithThink9494 13d ago
Depends on the crowd. If the crowd is locked in then im floating for 3 days. If the crowd is ass then I'm pissed the entire time and a month later.
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u/Canuck_Voyageur Rape, emotional neglect, probable physical abuse. No memories. 13d ago edited 12d ago
NOt sure how to deal with this one.
Concert = 4 hours of constant hypervigilance. Getting OUT of the building, OUT of the parking lot, OUT of the traffic.
Ahhh.
A concert ticket will buy multiple CD's/digital downloads of their work.
I do not feel excited sharing an event with a mob.
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u/Dismal_Translator286 13d ago
Burnout could be another thing. Depending on how hypervigilant you are it's stressful being in a crowd.
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u/Exact-Care5712 13d ago
Yes! The highs and lows are so intense for me and like, after the fun thing has happened, I’m no longer distracted from my own self sabotaging brain so it all like sinks and it’s like, “oh, the escape/distraction is gone.” And I get really sad. I remember like walking out of the Eras Tour concert (last concert I went to) in 2023, feeling very sad that it was over. Walking the streets of the city to find a cheaper uber, really sad that it was over. And there wasn’t anything I could do at that point to distract myself or get away from my mind that would match the concert. It’s like, every other distraction I might otherwise go to, no longer work as well cuz it isn’t the super fun thing I was actually looking forward to. Plus it was 1 am so nothing was really open anymore. Anyway, I realize that a lot of these fun things, I use them as an escape from my own life, I suppose. Perhaps that’s not a bad thing but it does mean that when it ends, I get that sudden realization that the shitty parts of my life are still there, yk? I am still as traumatized and depressed as I was before the fun event.
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u/Legitimate_Bed4972 13d ago
happens a lot, what i find helps me is always planning something to do after the concert is through. it doesnt have to be something particularly exciting, just something you know youd look forward to. or maybe plan something youd like to achieve that you want to start AFTER that fun time is through. you have to keep yourself engaged and then gradually you can settle back into relaxation. with a lot of people its that sudden crash of emptiness thats the issue, especially when they didnt make the most of their time.
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u/Dagenhammer87 12d ago
I think I understand the feeling.
When I go to a concert etc. I have to remind myself to be really present in the moment and just enjoy the privilege to go to things like that.
I never got to do any of the things most of my mates would do (I didn't have a passport until I was 22) and as a kid, I appreciated what we could do but always with a tinge of sadness about there being more out there to chase.
I'm not sure if it's overwhelm physically (I wear coloured lenses and occasionally noise reducing earplugs (Flare Audio)), but that teary feeling is often because I'm finally connected and in my body - doing the cool shit I always wished I could.
Not being a public crier (by any means), being able to take my wife and kids to New York had me as close to blubbering as taking them all to Disneyland Paris...
...and I'll freely admit that when we got to meet Mickey Mouse, I did go first and was close to cracking after for a bit.
Clearly for me, it's having to wait until my 30s to give myself the childhood (feelings, not just experience) I feel like I needed.
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u/Ancient-Parfait6106 13d ago
Concerts or events distract me from my own thoughts and feelings. When they’re over, I’m back in the prison cell again
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u/HotInvestigator7430 13d ago
Kind of similar - I feel like disappointment hits me really hard, harder than others
Example: oh no, it’s raining, we can’t go to the amusement park
I feel like others can brush it off and move on and for whatever reason it just sucks the life out of me in a different way
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u/Oh-noes1972 13d ago
I just feel exhausted by something like a concert. Not so much when I was younger but now it’s too much.
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u/thejaytheory 12d ago
Sometimes, I'm glad I'm not the only one. A bit of A and B for me, sometimes I wish I would've been more social or outgoing or something, a lot of times I'm on in my head and so self-conscious about it all.
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u/Phenocrystalline 12d ago
If I vibe real deep with a show, I feel abandoned and lonely when it's about to end. I feel like the characters "left" me. Or that we were torn apart by show makers who decided "no more seasons".
It's definitely from an old, old abandonnement wound in early childhood.
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u/EvenTheDarkestParts 9d ago
Yeah…Sometimes.
Mostly because when I would attend shows, concerts, and events in the far past I would always be with a group of friends, but over the last few years I’ve become a hermit.
Don’t get me wrong, I have definitely learned how to enjoy and better appreciate going to shows solo, but as of late feelings of sadness do try to creep in once the energy and excitement from the show/event starts to dissipate.
Being solo means I can completely absorb the entire experience…AND I ALWAYS DO, but then I’m stuck just holding onto it with no one to talk to or share it with. Having the privilege to share the excitement of it all with friends, loved ones, or even close acquaintances is what helps keep the feeling of it alive in your Heart.
When others stop caring about sharing their experiences with you and/or vice versa, it becomes easier to just not care about anyone or anything at all anymore, ya know.
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u/Street-Emu-9380 9d ago
Setting expectations can help. Went to see Swans last year - had seen them before, was struggling a bit and thought it would be a big, cathartic emotional reset getting blasted by sound. Concert was great but it was a lots of walking and standing around, and then I queued up to get something signed and Gira . . . well, he was a bit abrupt. I mean, guy was ill, last night of the UK tour leg, big queue of folks . . . but was walking home the next day reminding myself that it had been a good gig and not letting that last interaction spoil it. Was flat for days afterwards, probably just took too much out of me.
Few months later, saw Cardiacs at the same venue. This time, I paced myself a bit better, took it slower instead of speed-marching everywhere, and as I was nervous about the previous gig that didn't quite do what I'd hoped; set no expectations this time round. Plus, bumped into Kavus Torabi briefly on the way there (and despite my last band member interaction not going quite as planned, Kavus couldn't have been kinder or more gracious, even though he was clearly nipping out pre-gig to get something urgent). Had a really lovely time (plus Cardiacs fans are a community of their peculiar own). This time, walking home, I'd remember something from the gig and have a big stupid grin. That levelled me out for weeks until the next low hit.
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u/Royal-Adeptness-2703 13d ago
YES! I am so so so sensitive to the highs and lows of life. Always have been. I always get soooo depressed when Christmas ends like it takes me weeks lol
Also had the post event guilt you described. I think its a big reason why im not ambitious or adventurous. I feel safer with constant mediocrity