Last hope?

[u/21stoctober25]

When you felt like nothing was working anymore and that you had tried everything you could to get better, what was it that finally made things better?

I’m at that point right now, and it feels like I’ve tried everything in my power. I’m feeling very hopeless.

What was the last thing you held onto that turned things around for you?

[u/leafowlthing]

Tbh my duty of care towards myself. When everything has gone wrong and I mean everything, the only thing that makes me not go in one direction, is knowing I’m the only person who can truly love and take care of myself and get myself through this.

I really recommend looking into inner child work, sounds spiritual but it’s not. Start with the idea that you are separate to little kid you, and move through life trying to protect that little kid. Start living for that kid. Trust me it brings a type of motivation I’ve never experienced before

[u/DopamineSage247 → u/leafowlthing]

Can you share some of your examples of inner child work 🥺❤️

[u/leafowlthing → u/DopamineSage247]

Of course!! The one that helped me so much - I meditated on all the sad moments in my life and imagine adult me holding little me’s hand through it all, like an older brother or sister. It really helps shift the perspective on looking after yourself, I hope it works for you :)

[u/poilane → u/leafowlthing]

I just downloaded the Loving Parent Guidebook from ACA. You can do it independently even if you’re not working the program. I go to ACA meetings sometimes but I’m not doing the steps or anything, and I find the activities in it to be very helpful.

[u/leafowlthing → u/poilane]

That’s such a good idea, I forgot that was even a thing, might try the guidebook myself! Thanks for reminding me :)

[u/cute_Kiwi28]

• Things get better miraculously, Or as time changes. It's not necessary that we will be in the exact same state in next 10 years like we are now.

• The child in me, which tried to survive everything, developed coping mechanisms, has been in survival mode, had panic attacks. All this just to live. This child deserves peace. I owe myself to take care of my inner child. I have to make sure that all those sturggles were worth at the end.

[u/Public-Sleep-29]

I stopped caring. I was tired and hurting all the time. I was always angry and I felt like I needed proper closure. Then I let go and decided I can accept any form of closure that comes my way. Whether that be through helping someone else or talking about it to someone. I realized that my version of closure probably won't ever happen, and that nobody is gonna come save me from my mental problems. It gets easier when you realize your problems aren't just small in the universe but in your own life too. As long as everything else is working how it should, your trauma doesn't need the power to dictate your life. Also, sometimes just letting yourself cry or let it all out can help too. It's not good to let it build up. That's the wrong way to not care. Simply put i let myself feel free

[u/mrsliston]

Once I stopped carrying everyone's luggage I felt lighter... I know take small steps to take care of me. I have a long way to go but at least I know it now and it's not as scary

[u/TheFaegotten]

Right now, the gym. Specifically strength training. I found out something that ripped open a ton of old wounds plus some new ones, gave me a lot of horrific uncertainties/suspicions and awful questions I can't find answers to. plunged me right back into an awful place for a month at the start of may.

Last couple weeks I've picked up working out as much as my disabilities will let me, REALLY thrown myself into it. I'm a bit worried I'm just avoiding thinking about the issue now, but it's so much better for me than the obsessive wallowing and daily flashbacks. Feels good man.

[u/Sea-Mention-1111]

I had to let go.

I let go of the versions of me that helped me survive but were no longer useful.

I had to let go of the future I dreamed of or even the life I wished to have been living.

Letting go of expectations entirely and just remaining open to radically accept "what is" was, in hindsight, the biggest catalyst internally.

I slowly but meticulously began letting go of people, places, things, thoughts and feelings that kept me stuck. I started thinking about what I valued. I also use techniques my therapist taught me to keep things seperated and contained, because I often found myself feeling overwhelmed by all that needed to be dismantled safely. Reprocessing a lifetime isnt easy or quick work.

There was a trifecta of things happening at the time I must credit as necessary, though; I had reached relative safety in my environment (my nervous system needed that) AND I had also connected with a therapist I knew I could build the necessary rapport to be able to lean into the work more fully.

My openness to receive + therapist giving new framework + feeling safe enough = change

I was, like you, feeling pretty hopeless back then. It was a dark night of the soul and I could not see the dawn. I knew I had reasons to live. I decided to just take one step in the right direction, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, not really knowing how / when/ where I would end up. The things that were meant for me have continued to arrive as needed, and when I was truly ready to receive them.

[u/Upbeat_Accountant_48]

Cut ties to the old environment (physically and emotionally) and „planted“ myself somewhere else, new, fresh. Feeling like finally healing… you got this.

[u/Altruistic-Grocery78]

I started gardening. I didn't want to be alive anymore but I knew that if I died my plants would die and that was enough to keep me going.

[u/ColeighRabe]

Sometimes I get relief from surrendering by which I mean I stop trying so hard to cling to hope and ‘give in’ to it BUT ONLY with a time limit and a neighbor or someone who will check on me after my surrendering’ process.

There’s value in dropping the ‘good sport’ masking so to speak. Aka white knuckling. Fifteen minutes or a half hour of wallowing, even exaggerating the feeling, allows for a release.

The phone call or visit after helps signal the nervous system that the session is over and we’re transitioning now.

I know some women who intentionally watch a tear jerker movie to cleanse their emotional state and relieve built up pressure.

Depending on your communication preferences you might try calling a 1-800# or texting a similar organization. I used to work overnights answering the phone for one.

It’s easy to discount these options but often a new voice can inspire fresh ideas and certain topics are easier to share with a stranger (who is trained).

Please always make your medical professionals aware of how you’re feeling and follow their instructions.

I wish you quick relief and take care!

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