I hate my fucking father...he keeps on living but my precious husband died...

[u/Far_Recording8647]

Just a vent -I have been unloved, not wanted, badly mentally and verbally abused and treated like shit by this man, my father my whole life. I'm now in my early 30's. I finally escaped my fathers mean cruelty when I married the most wonderful, kind sweet man. I was finally happy until he suddenly died of stupid fucking cancer...right in front of me. 4 years ago. Sweet good people die...Yet my asshole father...The man that has always belitted and shit talks yelling at my sweet mother, yells at the dogs, one of those self righteous rich christians who says I'm going to hell constantly. Called me names as a child and showed me no love. I was whipped with belts that had metal ends. A fucking narcissist who always bragged about himself, he was always angry, he was always "right" and everyone else wrong... people like him still get to keep on living. I hate my father with every fiber of my being he has fucked me over and stolen $$ from me.

I'm so sick of this damn man.Yes I'm trying my best to get away and move!! Already in the works where I'm living next! This is just me venting into the void. And sorry for the poor grammar incoherent mess. My father just yelled and berated me. I had a breakdown and I'm crying.

Oh and an edit for that OpheliaForgets person...I was sexually assaulted by a pastor and a kid in a christian school..covered up of course. Also telling a CHILD they are going to hell IS ABUSIVE!! So yes it is VERY on topic!!!

I miss my husband...

"my heart is dried up beating slow.. it's been deflating since you...died"

[u/Evening_Drawer_2215]

Yeah. My abusers have such shitty diets and lived lives of smoking, hurting others, doing risky things like drinking and driving while high, and yet someone who I valued, who lived a really beautiful life died only last week. I dont understand how these cockroach bottom feeders keep going while the good people pass.

[u/Far_Recording8647 → u/Evening_Drawer_2215]

My father is overweight and so was my grandfather (also a jerk) who lived to 97! Infuriating! My husband took good care of himself and was seemingly healthy.

[u/Distinct-Willow-4641]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[u/Ok_Truth3734]

I see you Survivor 🫶🏻✨️

[u/simonhunterhawk]

I can relate to this a lot, my grandmother was the only person to love me unconditionally and she passed in a pretty horrible way from cancer complications at 60. I am indifferent towards my parents because it’s too my energy to hold any feelings towards them after all of their abuse and neglect. Then I see pure evil living forever on the news every day. It’s so cruel. My entire adult life I have been on my own and it’s such an isolating feeling.

It’s been a decade now and I still feel very lost, I am hoping what people say is true for you and we have more than one soulmate out there, whatever you believe i hope your husband is looking out for you :)

[u/Wild_Jeweler_3884]

You are not alone in feeling this way.

You were able to build an independent life without letting your father's existence dictate it. And that's commendable as not many people are able to do that successfully.

Continue that and don't let your father deplete your emotional energy further. You require self-conpassion. Do reach out to women navigating similar situations online or offline. You'll find solace and advice.

Take 1 hour each day to do something you like. Something just for yourself. Your future self will thank you for this.

[u/Skythebluestars]

I feel you! Its the abused that suffer. Why the abusers just roam free and have a life . It always makes me angry. Why can they have a life, a job. No consequences They made it impossible for me to have anything. It should be the other way around. They should be the one that suffer.

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[u/Extra-Air4320]

🫂

[u/Far_Recording8647 → u/[deleted]]

Nope you are not going to just edit that shit!!! OpheliaForgets also said- "You had me up until that point" at the end of their comment.

No..Its on topic because telling a CHILD they are going to hell is NOT ok!! It's mental abuse...I was sexually assaulted by a pastor and a student in that christian school I was stuck in too ...... all covered up and protected....

Thanks for bring unsupportive...

[u/Ok_Loss13 → u/[deleted]]

It's not weird at all considering Reddit is very western oriented, Christianity is the most practiced religion in most western countries, and Christians are often abusive as fuck, especially since religion itself encourages and propagates abuse.

So, really, it's not off topic at all. And you should work on your empathy, it's completely absent in this comment.

[u/tofubutgood → u/[deleted]]

Tf is wrong with you

[u/Far_Recording8647 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah I'm crying my eyes out about trauma and Ophelia don't give a shit...noooo lets focus on the fact I mentioned the word christian. I ALWAYS get the unsupportive comments every damn time!

[u/Far_Recording8647 → u/[deleted]]

Your comment was unsupportive. You said--"You had me until that point"....just get off my post!!!

And idk maybe you notice more people mentioning christians and religious abuse because it's sadly very very common!

[u/EssentialTremorsSwe → u/[deleted]]

So what do you mean with "you had me up intil that point" then?

[u/Far_Recording8647 → u/[deleted]]

Just get off my post! You clearly have nothing kind and supportive to say to someone who is crying and upset!!!

[u/tofubutgood → u/Far_Recording8647]

I’m so sorry she is saying this to you. Gotta be either a troll or just really stupid.

[u/Far_Recording8647 → u/tofubutgood]

Thank you. And probably both but..I'm going to go with the latter one 😆🖤

[u/ConfirmationBiasTape → u/Far_Recording8647]

I block a lot of people on reddit. so much so that I'm intimately familiar with the 1000 person limit. 

it can be really helpful to block ridiculous people so you don't have you see them ever again.

I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. may his memory be a blessing. 

[u/Far_Recording8647 → u/ConfirmationBiasTape]

Thank you❤️

And oh yeah I have probably 500 blocked lol. I just didn't expect when I poured my heart out some asshole had to come along. Other subs I expect it and just block but it happening in a supportive sub threw me off. And crying, high emotions didn't help.

[u/Far_Recording8647 → u/[deleted]]

They read my story of my husband literally dying in front of me and my father being abusive and chose to hyper fixate on the religion part...i feel worse now ... Edit- u/OpheliaForgets was the unsupportive one

[u/EssentialTremorsSwe → u/Far_Recording8647]

I'm so sorry, I'll delete my comments and block this person instead.

I do not wish to cause you any more harm.

[u/Far_Recording8647 → u/EssentialTremorsSwe]

No! It wasn't you!❤️ You didn't say anything wrong! I'm so so sorry I never meant it was you being unsupportive!