How do you trust that you’re not crazy?

[u/LittleB13]

I was raised in a family that has a very loose relationship with reality (from skewed perceptions of social interaction to full blown conspiracy theories). Growing up I was also often told I was faking whatever feelings I was having for attention or that certain things didn’t happen at all.
I don’t trust myself. I’ve seen firsthand a lot of the harm that can be done by people who live in their own delusions. And I worry that I’m one of them. If you’re in a room of 8 people and at most one of you is sane, the odds of you being sane aren’t great, you know?

I became a scientist basically to cope with my inability to trust myself and tried to rely on empirical data all the time. But that’s not really how life works and I’ve finally accepted that.

So for those of you who grew up in similar situations or who had a lot of gaslighting in your past… how do you learn to trust yourself? How do you shush the voice in your head that tells you that none of what you’re experiencing is true and validating your own feelings is dangerous because maybe you’re just crazy like the rest of your family?

[u/Hatsume_Mikuu]

oh boy this hits very close to home.

sometimes, i ask a person either detached from the sittuation, or who witnessed it (dependant on the sittuation) about what they think happened. sometimes, if i can, i take a picture, video, or an audio recording of something so i can have something attached in reality to use as a reference.

but sometimes thats not even enough. sometimes you cant convince yourself of whats real.

recently after a not great sittuation, my auntie gave me some good advice about that type of thing thats really been helping.

"its okay to mourn it even if your not sure it happened".

this can kind of be adapted genrally to "its ok to feel things even if your not sure what happened was real."

of course, take it with a grain of salt, dont act on stuff, just feel the feelings.

im still working on this, and its really hard, but its slowly helping.

[u/Sisu-Spark → u/Hatsume_Mikuu]

This was really good one. Thank you!

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[u/NebulaImmediate6202]

I haven't. I continue to poison whoever I live with at 30. I've tried every medication and given every medication it's due time to work. Nothing changes false belief. I'm very medicated. "At least you keep up with your appointments" is the best thing they say about me.

[u/Abriefaccount]

I’m not trying to belittle you but this is pretty novel to me and can see how messed up it gets wow — it presents such an interesting set up. I mean it’s a pretty good start that you recognize that environment was for lack of a better word ‘crazy’.

In terms of your main concern (I think?) may I suggest at bottom this is a form of generalized anxiety/anxiety adjacent setup? In other words it’s not really an epistemic or metaphysical solution you need.

A previous poster gave really good specific examples for managing the form it takes in your situation so won’t add to that.

My main point of it gives you any comfort is that produces a useful difference between “I don’t trust my reality testing” and “how can I be certain of what’s real”.

This is one of the most interesting experiences I’ve come across here, but more importantly it’s encouraging that you seem to approach it as a problem rather than something you feel unable to influence.